%%$$%@# Bill Pay!

Well Wells Fargo offers this free service where you can enter in a payee and send them a payment with your account number on it. My inability to understand this seemingly simple system is the topic of this post. I was going to start with an expletive but this is a semi-family friendly blog.
This last month comcast refused our payment because we had the wrong account number on our bill. I had tried to change the account number online and I thought it worked. We have also received several letters about it. Finally Wells Fargo told me that we had to completely delete them as a payee and then add my new account. That is stupid.
Also I keep not receiving ebills from PECO. Today I realized that PECO is not the same as Pennsylvania Power. the problem here is that PECO was signed up with Ebills going to John's trash can. Stupid ebills- I never see the bills until they sent us a late notice. I thought that ebills would simplify my life, not make my bills disappear. How can someone not notice that PECO Energy co is clearly the gas company and that's why PPL never has us actually owing a balance. We have lots of credit at the power company- so I guess I need to use lots of power this month. (that's a joke). Also I wish that these people would try to send us a real bill instead of just an email that gets filtered straight to my trash. For some reason yahoo really thinks I want to go back to school and get a great career but not that I want to pay my bills. Maybe they are right.
Even worse we rent a piano and they gave us "coupons" with a specific amount on them. Each month I am supposed to get a coupon of the envelope and mail it with a check. You had better believe I have lost that coupon book. maybe one month after we got the piano. So I like to just randomly send them money every month in random and increasing amounts. then every four or five months we call them and don't have to pay at all. They remind us about the coupons and we ask for more, which I lose. I guess the coupon thing is really awesome for me.
Overall I wish that I had all paper bills and a checkbook. Then at the beginning of each month I would sit at my desk and write checks with my lovely penmanship. Almost like Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables- Danielle wouldn't even interrupt me and try to rip the bills out of the binder. I would buy attractive stamps. And I would not be the victim of mail fraud like my Aunt was a few years ago with her bills. Eventually everyone seems to get their money, which is nothing short of a miracle. My bill pay miracle.

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We Three Kings

The fantastic Kings visited us over Memorial Day weekend and it was so fun. Little Anderson was so cuddly and I loved him. Wendy is such a cute mom and we went into the city and looked at things. Also we got to play games. In the middle of the games Harley noticed that Danielle had taken something. His wallet. She was fussy and we finally discovered just tonight that is was in fact from an ear infection. There were many highlights of the King vacation. I have many photos but I think I will space them out- Here are some highlights.

  1. We got to go to fantastic restaurants and Skippack and even in Philadelphia.
  2. Harley loves taking photos and took some great photos of Danielle.
  3. Cute little Anderson cuddled with me.
  4. Wendy has more energy than I do and she has a 5 week old baby
  5. We got to play lots of board games and it was lots of fun.
  6. Wendy and Harley cleaned our kitchen and they were visiting. How fantastic are our friends?
  7. The kings have favorites.
  8. I love Wendy's diaper bag.

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Teenage Pregnancy and Sex Ed.

So tonight I was watching a very important episode of So You Think You Can Dance since it was mentioned on Sarah's blog and I saw a commercial where teens are going to parties and asking their partner "are you ready for this?" in the backseat of a car. At the end of the commercial many attractive 20 somethings saying they won't get pregnant because their life is more important. It made me think about how trendy it is right now to be pregnant. I was talking to Sarah who works for Catholic social services and she was saying that it is really popular in Philadelphia for girls to have a baby in high school. Like they are the latest accessory.
I remember one of the first "sex ed" classes I went to where they taught us about how people get pregnant and STD's and probably drugs at the same time. You could opt out but if you did you were really strange. At one point we were split into girls and boys and taught about the reproductive system. They invited us to ask questions or share and of course no one did. Except Katie who asked about what a douche was and if it was healthy to do it all the time. She said she had heard it wasn't good to do it too much. Of course we were all in 6th grade and I had no idea what she was talking about. Most of my real sex ed came from pirated Cosmopolitan magazine and me asking Andrew Benton what everything meant. Maybe that has forever altered my perception of abstinence based education. If you don't know what things mean does it really help you?
I learned in high school that abstinence is obviously the best way to avoid pregnancy. I always thought that those girls who were pregnant in high school were just stupid. Why wouldn't you use birth control if you were sexually active. Well I should have asked myself that question and now she's one. I guess maybe those teenagers just aren't very responsible with their birth control. This of course has inspired me to look up various birth control options. The FDA has effectiveness rates listed here and they are quite interesting. I guess John's friend who just volunteered that she used the pull out method with her husband has a lower rate of pregnancy than something celebrated in a Seinfeld episode- the sponge.
The other day when I was talking to a friend about Danielle being a birth control baby she was like- you know you can't say that! Because maybe I was irresponsible. the point is I always mocked these people who were pregnant in high school. I don't mock anymore.

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The Late Night Supermarket

I like going to the supermarket late at night. We tend to find out where the closest 24-hr supermarkets are; maybe it's because we sometimes decide in the middle of the night that we need ice cream, or an electric blanket, or what have you. It's not the spontaneity that I like, it's the quiet. If you go shopping on an ordinary day, like all of the other suckers, you wait in line. You're forced to navigate around some stupid woman who is going aisle by aisle, just as you are, but in the opposite direction, so you pass in every aisle and she refuses to move her cart aside without you asking. You overhear parents muttering mean things to their disobedient children. You have to listen to, and avoid running over, their disobedient children. And you have to listen to the elderly comment on why something you're doing with your own child is incorrect.
At night, there are only a handful of people in the store. And when the store is enormous (it's even named "Giant"), that gives you a lot of luxury cruise space in every aisle. It's quiet enough that you can hear the hum of the refrigeration and the music sliding out of the cone-speakers hanging from the warehouse ceiling. These things I like.
What I do not like is the automated self check out. For one, there is limited space on the scale with the plastic sacks, so you end up trying to stack your groceries in order to avoid the machine's accusations that you are attempting to steal your produce. I never thought about scanning the bar code before, but some items really don't want to ring up. I've begun to respect the kind of experience that checkers must have to be able to swipe some of these products so casually and have them register at all.
When the machine doesn't realize that I have placed a product in the bag, it says to me, in a soothing voice, "Please place the item in the bag." "Please place the item in the bag." I try to scan my next item. "Please place the item in the bag." It won't scan because apparently the machine is still waiting for me to "Please place the [last] item in the bag." I've tried picking the product up and dropping it in again, but if the machine misses it on the first go, you have to wait for the single employee to notice your predicament and press the magic "get out of jail free" button at the command center up front. I used to go and ask for help. Now, I use a technique that gets their attention and makes me feel good. I don't know why, but reasoning with the calm machine in an irritated mode reminds me of a story. It makes me feel entertaining. So when the machine says, "Please place the item in the bag," I talk back to it. I say, "It is in the bag."
"Please place the item in the bag."
"I just put the item in the bag. I can't place the"
"Please place the item in the bag."
"You're not listening to me. The item is in the bag. Move on already!"
I just get louder and louder until the employee fixes things. Works like a charm.

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Garage Sale

Our ward has what they call a "Play Group." I never actually went until recently. I guess I was just a little bitter that groups such as "play group" and "scrap booking group" were having so much more success than "service group." Plus it was smack dab in the middle of baby nap time. Recently though I have been trying to move baby nap time to the afternoon so we don't have "church train wreck" time every week.
So I didn't go, until Allison got in charge of it for a while. She is a great recruiter. So Allison is not really the type of girl that would just sit around and chat while the children run amok (which I like) and we thought of having everyone clean out their closets and bring their stuff to playgroup to bring to DI or the Pennsylvania equivalent.
Then I got greedy. I thought- you know we could just have a yard sale and sell all this stuff. We could make lots of money. John and i have tons of stuff we could sell- we have some baby clothes that Claire has deemed unworthy of passing on (rightfully so) that some other people might want to buy. We made signs with cardboard and colored paper.
The day dawned overcast and about 50 degrees. The first car was an old couple who looked at Jamie's table and picked up her used alarm clock, then left. I don't think very many people came. Our neighbors came and they are awesome but they are the grandparents of these cute babies and they are from India and the parents don't really speak English. They bought Jana's Trike. And her scooter. And some of the clothes. the construction workers bought Jana's boom box. They were thrilled. Eliza Magland bought some toys. She is actually from playgroup and she braved the weather with her 4 week old baby. I am amazed at these women who seem so lucid only four weeks after labor.
The good news? It didn't rain.
The bad news- we didn't sell anything. It was sad- I think playgroup made about twelve dollars, which wasn't even enough to buy everyone ice cream at the next outing to Freddie Hill Farms. They sell their ice cream by weight though, so a seemingly innocent single scoop can cost four dollars.
Jamie braved the entire yard sale and helped me clean out my garage in the process. She wanted to sell her strollers so there they were- many strollers lined up on the lawn ready for people to see them. We waited and the strollers waited. Jamie was going to make lots of money. Except she didn't, and we didn't I guess I don't live on a busy street but the neighbors across the road bought a chair from me. I bought it for 2 dollars at a flea market. I think they paid five.
Of course, I couldn't stand that we weren't going to make any money on all this great stuff. So I took pictures of some of it and posted it on my ebay. Luckily I already had a username. I am already making 18.79 (without shipping) and I have only posted 4 items. true they are the nicest items I have, but I think I can say I've learned a few things. 7 things to be exact.

  1. Eliza is the man.
  2. Ebay is warmer than my garage Sale. this is my first garage sale ever and I didn't post it in the newspaper which I am told is the way to go.
  3. Garage Sales in a brand new neighborhood where the oldest house is two years old don't seem as legitimate. but I feel like I did make more neighbor friends which is positive.
  4. Baby only garage sales aren't really what most people are looking for. We could help Dana open her baby store with all the stock we had.
  5. Maybe we could donate our profits to charity.
  6. Danielle likes playing in the puddle that forms in the pothole of my neighbor's driveway.
  7. Our neighbors are super nice. Mike let us use his driveway- he even moved his car- and the neighbors bought things- lots of people have visited since then.
Well I don't know if I will make it until Jen's public neighborhood yard sale or if I will bring my garage full of baby clothes to good will. Or maybe I will have time to sell them all on Ebay. This is what happens when we get involved in Playgroup. Watch out kids.

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My Talk on Sunday

Well it has finally happened- I got to speak in Church on Sunday. I was nervous. At first I thought- why would I be nervous I did this in Germany- I taught at the MTC- I don't have a super tough time coming up with what I should say. Wendy and Harley were in town (more to come on that) and they were so fun! I have been surprised- my topic was temporal preparedness in these days. In parenthesis on the sheet of instructions was (focus on Jesus) I wasn't sure if that meant I was to focus on Jesus coming in "these days". I thought maybe I could give a real crazy one and read all sorts of scriptures- about dragons. Maybe I could bust out the apocrypha. Yes that would be awesome. And since John's class girls voted Ruth as their favorite person in the Bible (I think they learned who she was at some random YW activity- the girls in my class like Moses' mother- lots of woman power in a Bible with relatively few women) I thought maybe I could talk about her.
OK I guess I was really supposed to talk about Food Storage- some of my favorite parts?

  • My unauthorized use of Jana's Blog. Jana wasn't there so she might not actually know that I used her blog. The Post about Food Storage was perfect. I got away with it and I didn't have to look at Jana afterwards and explain it because I didn't see her. Actually I still haven't told her- maybe I should or maybe she will read my blog and be inspired to comment. Her blog entry was hilarious and I needed something good. I mean- I don't have any funny stories about food storage. When we were growing up at the same time that my family really needed to use our food storage some bugs broke into it and spoiled everything. So we were poor with spoiled food storage. My mom actually ground wheat and made bread. Also my friends recently have been into food storage and I thought- not fun. but having friends is fun so I have actually been doing my food storage. So I told everyone that I was using someone's blog without permission. It's public domain right? Maybe one of my attorney friends can tell me if I can get in trouble for this. Halfway through I said who's blog it was. It was the only part of my talk where people laughed. At least I recognize that other people don't think I'm funny- only I think I'm funny. (and not very funny)
  • I just realized that I will be out of town when the fruit in my container garden starts to grow. Proving that it wasn't actually to save money, but to waste it. That is consistent with my social food storage habits. But I have really enjoyed the fresh Basil.
  • John starting his talk with "hello ward"
  • Preparing for 8 hours each morning during Danielle's nap time then having Wendy and Harley think my talk was last minute. Maybe it's quality was last minute.
  • Realizing all my real fear comes from how badly we mock people during their talks. I know we shouldn't, and now I know why.
  • Harley and Wendy put Danielle to sleep during my talk. Why are our friends consistently better at caring for our child? I think that means we have good friends. It's nice when your friends put your baby to sleep or clean them- rather than feeding your pumped breast milk to their children like happened to us a little while ago. How to address why it is inappropriate to be feeding your child a bottle full of my breast milk when my child is sitting right there crying because she is hungry? the Kings have a brand new baby and they were so good at watching Danielle- who was really fussy by the way.
Well I hope everything went well- I still always say "Uh..." and I want people to really like my talks. Also I secretly want them to bring their Nintendo DS and play it all through the talk so they don't look at me and see that I am sweating. I will have to wear a jacket next time- especially since it was FREEZING. People told me I did a good job and I think some of them really meant it and weren't just being nice. Even if they were faking it I like the compliments. I guess there really is something to being positive even if you don't mean it.

How will I face Jana? Now I am the Food Storage Blog Entry Thief. I stole in order to give my talk in Church. I wonder if those two things cancel each other out and in the end I am still down in the righteousness game since we left church right after sacrament meeting. But Jana wasn't even there. Lucky me.

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Money Mondays on Tuesday


I want to go to Disneyworld. So I planned a Disney vacation. Turns out it is easy if you look online- disney will help you plan your vacation. There is a lot of stuff to do- they will help you find food, transportation and flights. My phony Disney vacation starts September 10 and ends September 17th. I want to stay in the Grand Floridian Resort which is quite nice. Who wouldn't love to stay there. We are going with the Disney transportation and Flying. Danielle is getting her own seat. They even let you pick if you want a lap child or you want to get her a seat. The website will let you pick a resort and then offers for different hotels pop up competing with the hotel you picked. I love Disney!
Total Cost 5486.67

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Money Mondays on Tuesday


Well I love the container store and I really want to organize my closets. As I've been working on it Danielle has been my little helper. Actually mostly she pulls things out of the closets and throws them on the floor. She is also quite good at throwing laundry out of the washer onto the floor. I pick it up and put it in the dryer so we are quite the laundry team. Our entryway has a small closet and I love the elfa craft organizer closet from the Container Store. I think I could use some of the parts from this kit and still fit the Xbox in the closet. Right now I stack everything there were are trying to hide when people come over and it is getting quite extensive. the closet is almost packed full enough to have a stack up to my head and it's way harder to get the drums out for when we want to play rock band. That can't be good for my drums so I decided to fake buy a closet system that gives me shelving to the floor. I really like the arts and crafts closet since I quilt downstairs. Of course I also want a cart.
Total Cost: $630.72 (plus shipping and handling)

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My Post Birthday List

My birthday was last week and I got so many great presents. But since i am greedy I thought I
would post my "post birthday list." If I had lots of money I would get these things.
  1. A gift card for Machine Quilting from Kayleen Perry for Amity Quilting. They are both so good!
  2. Tea collection clothing for Danielle sized 18 months daily tea collection. It is so cute right now!
  3. A nintendo Wii- with Wii Fit of course.
  4. White Frames from the Pottery Barn sized 8 by 10 and 5 by 7
  5. A white ledge- 2 or 3 feet long
  6. Shoes- either the Josef Seibel ones or these Eric Michael ones.
  7. A white decal
  8. the Game Loaded Questions- we used to have it and now it's lost
  9. The game DOGE- we miss playing it since we moved here- what a fantastic game!
  10. Shoeboxes from the container store. So awesome!
  11. Dinner at Basta Pasta

Every year if people forget my birthday I like to tell them that I am still accepting presents. It is funny and Paul always ends up sending me a present. I love it! Also I like making lists on the computer about things I need. I realize I probably won't get these things but the act of making the list is somehow very satisfying. and I think a blog should bring that satisfaction.
Now that is an awesome post- the post birthday list.
I think one of the primary reasons I should have a blog is so I can post about things I really like or would like to purchase. This is like a public birthday list everyone can see but it is after my birthday so there are no expectations. I think if everyone posted a post birthday list they could publicly acknowledge things they didn't get for their birthday and will probably never get. Your post birthday list shouldn't be too practical since most of the time birthday gifts are things you would normally not get. Also since you already got all your birthday presents no one has to get you anything. I loved my presents and I wouldn't trade them for these things (well maybe the wii but no one would get me that- I would feel weird if someone did because that's WAY too expensive.) Anyway the post birthday list- it could catch on if enough people realized it's awesomeness.

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Oh where Oh where has my pregnancy test gone....?


I remember the days when I had just married John and was completely paranoid that I was pregnant every month. If I didn't have my period on time or even early I though- oh my goodness I am pregnant! Having a pregnancy test on hand helped make me feel better. Too bad one day I tested pregnant and joined the ranks of high schoolers who had an accidental pregnancy- except it was good timing so no one seemed surprised. So I have never gotten over my fear of being pregnant, even with an IUD. The other day I realized that I didn't have any pregnancy tests on hand- I gave the last one to Claire to take for Honeymoon assurance. So I said to my friend "I will pick up a pregnancy test" and she was surprised. John said "Oh, she takes those all the time- it's like a hobby for her." My friend thought it was hilarious.
And it's true. I have taken two of the three pack- both times I wasn't pregnant. Still no period after baby so I guess that IUD is paying off after all. I foolishly just threw them away in the bathroom trash. So today I realized that I am missing a pregnancy test. I realized this after my friend came over to make jam and one of the pregnancy tests was on the changing table. That's right, she had picked it up off of the floor. How mortifying. Someone seeing your used pregnancy test is sort of like missing a period only gross. Good thing she knows I am not pregnant- and do I have to explain my obsession? How did the test end up on the floor? Was Danielle carrying it around?
Also I have looked ALL OVER downstairs and in the bathroom trash and pregnancy test number two is MIA. I will never find the thing. How crazy is that? I marked it, and it is somewhere downstairs. When I took the positive pregnancy test I remember throwing it away in the bathroom trash as well. A few days later we came home and one of our dear little doggies was chewing on something. Yes- it was my pregnancy test. Leave it to the dogs.
Did you know that you can take a free pregnancy test online? I guess you can enter a bunch of stuff and they will tell you if you are pregnant. It's not as fun as the pink sticks but maybe I will have to switch over. Until then- good luck to me finding the missing pregnancy test in the toy bin. Or maybe Austin already found it.

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Yet Another Shortcoming of the English Language

I have a bone to pick with English. I sould probably begin by conceding that it works pretty well. Many people speak it, and for the most part we understand each other well enough to function in our own country, and as a global society of English speakers. Though I suppose some would argue about how well we function.
Anyway, my topic today is the phrase, "least favorite." It probably sounds familiar to you. Ordinarily, you would use this phrase to describe something that is the opposite of your favorite. Maybe you are discussing flavors of ice cream. Your favorite might be rocky road, or burnt almond fudge. Your least favorite, though, would probably be that green tea ice cream you bought out of curiosity, opened eagerly after putting away the other groceries, spooned anxiously toward your already salivating mouth, then discarded after disgust and disappointment. That is your least favorite.
But think about those words. Your least favorite. Although it is least among your favorites, it is still making that list. Yes, the same list that begins with rocky road. Surely, green tea comes at the end, being your least favorite, but it is not taken off of the list. It is not put on an anti-favorite list. It is just your least favorite.
English has no other way of describing this relationship. You can't just say, "Which flavor is most repulsive? Which revolts you the most? Which flavor is highest on the scale labeled odious, heinous, abominable, reprehensible, disgusting, loathesome, or nauseating?" And why don't these convey what we want to convey? Because the opposite question would be asking which flavor is least repulsive. No one wants to know what flavor is least repulsive. They want to know which is your favorite.
Favor indicates personal preference. You have chosen your favorites. You are invested in them. Other descriptive terms feel objective, distant, cold in comparison. Sure, cake batter ice cream is "good," or "yummy" even, but it is not "favorite."
So what is the opposite of "favorite"? Certainly not "least favorite." Clearly, our language is letting us down. We need to be able to express our own personal dislike for things succinctly. As a complaint filled society, constantly gratifying ourselves and critiquing those products or services we consume which do not gratify completely or rapidly enough, how can we have failed to fill this gap in our collective lexicon?
I once heard someone at my school discussing a classmate that she found particularly annoying. These were her words: "He is my worst, my absolute worst!"
The delivery is important, as her emotion conveyed exactly the kind of assertion that I am discussing here. I hope the written form brings you the feeling I had when I heard her say this (Speaking of which, my feelings were first amused, then almost joyous. Not that I had ever thought this particular problem through before, but as soon as the solution arrived, I recognized its absence in my life up to that point. How very gratifying.). So perhaps this formulation fits the bill. After all, another person can't be your worst the same way that something you have created or performed can be ("That's my worst film yet," or "that is the worst lobster you have ever made me."). The phrase makes no sense if preference isn't involved. If someone or something is your worst but you are not responsible for its quality, then non-favorite status is implicit.
I don't think I will adopt the saying. I feel this would somehow cheapen the phrase, or jinx any possibility it might have of creeping into common use. Not that this is likely, but one can always hope. Keep your ears open.

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Bird Watching Contest


Remember the good old days as kids when we had that red guidebook to North American Birds? I still remember flipping through the pictures endlessly to try to find cool new birds and pretending that I had seen some really rare or exotic north american birds only to find out they were native to Florida not washington state. Well there is a website right now that has a contest to promote "Young Birders". They are promoting their fantastic book about bird watching for kids. Check out the contest here
I am really excited about an eastern book because that is where we are living now and I keep seeing birds that I know I've seen before or hearing a new bird call waking me up at 4 in the morning. What a great idea! I found it from Rob Fergus's Blog. Oh those birdchasers!

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My "black" name

Well I had a great birthday yesterday. and I must say I loved going to lunch with Judi and spending time with John. We went and saw the movie forbidden Kingdom and my friend Allison watched Danielle and it was so nice to go on a birthday date. I loved how many people remembered my birthday- I got so many exciting presents and someone even brought me cookies. John made me red velvet cake which is really yummy. I ate it for dinner and for breakfast this morning also for lunch. Ahh cake is so good. Thanks everyone for remembering me and calling me and sending presents and cards on my birthday- it was the best!
Well today I met one of my neighbors and I was told that my name was a "black" name. It was interesting to think about because I have always liked my name and I would recommend it to everyone for naming their children. I guess lots of black people in Philadelphia have my name. Well according to my neighbor. Is it weird to say someone has a black name? Can I say that? Probably not to someone who is actually black, so I don't think I should say it.
Here is my photo as a girl with a black name.

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Money Mondays

This week for Money Mondays I wanted to decorate Danielle's Room. Not the whole thing since she still doesn't really have furniture but at least the walls. I have a few ideas other than finishing the last two walls with painting. I love it when baby names are spelled out. Too bad she has 8 letters in her name- I guess having Danielle Claire would take up more wall space than she has, although that is so cute! Then we have Claire's name on our wall too. The land of nod has the letters for 8.95 each so I could put them up on the right side of the pictures I already have up over her crib. I like the white pottery barn frames for Danielle's room. She has a few but I just got more pictures for mother's day and I want frames for them. The pictures could also go in different places. Also I need an 11x14 inch frame for one of the pictures and they are hard to find.
A really cute mat would make the pictures look more personalized. I would want to have the white frame with a pink polka dot mat.
Having a nob to post them on would be great and I want a couple to also hang up her tutu.

Total Cost $161.60

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Mother's Day


I really liked mother's day today- even though I had a little bit of a cold. I got to go to church and Danielle was really cuddly today. John got me a really cool ear piece and made me crepes for breakfast- so yummy! Also I have a great photo of Danielle to put on my wall. here is what I ate for dinner- yummy homemade fettuccine alfredo with shrimp. The parsley was from our container garden which made me feel great. I love that if I need basil or parsley or other herbs I can go out to my garden to get them.
Mother's day is such a strange thing for me. I still don't feel like I should be doing anything other than visiting my mother to celebrate. We go to to church and everyone talks about mother's and I guess I just still don't feel like a mom. I sent my mom a present which was exciting, but I didn't get to see my mom. I miss her and it seems like I didn't really get to do something special for her this year. In church the YW SOLD flowers to the ward as a fundraiser. John wasn't there when they were selling them and I was not very happy that they were selling the flowers. What happens if someone can't afford it. I told John not to worry- I think that's more for grandmas and I remember my mom saying she didn't like feeling like mother's day was a competition- who has the biggest flowers? Who got the biggest present? I like presents but I am really happy that we are trying not to worry or compare with people. I still loved Kathryn's idea that you get a day off on mother's day, and I got to take a glorious nap today after John made me lunch. I guess that is the motherhood difference- The greatest gift in the world is sleep.

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Babysitters, Motherhood, and Guilt

Well as I think about being a mom more and more I realize that I am not an ideal mother. This realization comes to me almost on a daily basis as I realize I forgot extra diapers or milk. My mother heart consists mainly of someone who wants to wake John up even if he hasn't slept in days just so I can get an extra 45 minutes of sleep and maybe avoid cleaning the house. These things happen.
As I was reading comments from my last post I realized that maybe I had the wrong special share. First off not all special shares are about bodily functions- they are just things that you really shouldn't necessarily share. Like talking about home a lot while you are on your mission or talking about birth gore and bodily functions any time.
Pregnancy itself is paired with many special shares, and Cousin Ben's wife pointed out that is would be nice to limit others to two special shares a day when you are pregnant. Just because I look like a truck does not mean that I am a spectacle- maybe. When you are pregnant it is like everyone in the world who has ever met someone who is pregnant feels like they should tell you about it. There is lot of advice out there about babies. I remember being at a fabric store and having a delightful woman ask me if I was carrying twins. I said no and she lowered her head so she could look at me without her glasses and said "you are awfully big." There are no words for this woman as she was actually accurate in her assessment. Could I have gotten her fired for this comment? My desire to get her fired over her statement she so easily moved on from warred with the fear that other's would think I was a crazy pregnant lady- and a big one at that. This woman had a special share, and these continue as Danielle is growing.
One time I was carrying Danielle into a store and some woman walked by me. She was probably about 8 million years old and had one of those curled wigs that was slightly crooked and nice trifocals. She was also probably about 4 feet tall with a salmon jacket, vest, pants and shirt. This getup was paired with signature cream Rockport shoes. This lovely human asked me where my babies sweater was. for some reason this time I wanted to lose it. It was about 75 degrees outside and Danielle had lost her shoes by throwing them on the floor in a store while I wasn't paying attention and who thinks that babies need to wear sweaters in hot weather anymore? This helped me realize something-no matter how I dress my baby or myself, some people will be upset. In this case I felt vindicated since this woman was clearly a little bit crazy and obviously entering that darling world of senility. Obviously her opinion was not necessarily valid. Except my baby was covered in the teether biscuit I gave her in the car seat so she wouldn't scream at me. The other day Jana told me that Danielle would give me hell when she was two and I wanted to hug her for it. This is hard. Sometimes I want a break.
John and I wanted to go out a few days ago and thought it would be a good idea to get a babysitter. The paid young kind rather than friends, because then I don't have guilt about if we should get them something. I always want my friends to ask me to babysit first so they can set the precedent. Anyway when we got home three hours past the time Danielle normally goes to sleep Danielle was standing in an armchair soaked with milk and crying. The chair was also covered in milk. Danielle was so cold and some of the milk was starting to dry on her soaked outfit. John took the babysitter home and I changed, washed and fed our child, who promptly went to sleep, then tried to save the Ethan Allen chair that I love so much from a whole bottle of milk. The babysitter told us that Danielle got mad when she tried to stop her from dumping the bottle. Of course she got mad you idiot. How can you even respond to someone leaving your child covered in milk they have dumped all over themselves and the ground and your most expensive piece of furniture while they are clearly on myspace. I think putting it in my blog is the answer. So we will never use that babysitter again. The whole incident reminds me of why I decided to stay home- I just have a hard time trusting other people to care about my child as much as I do. It turns out you also can't take it for granted that others will care for the basic needs of your child. At least not this babysitter. On the other hand the other day we had friends watch Danielle and when we went to pick her up they had washed her. They probably took better care of Danielle than I would. Either way finding a good babysitter really is a hard thing to do. Where is Uncle Jeremy when we need him.

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Special Shares

Every now and then I try to think of different things I can write about in my blog. Since the post about my breast pump was probably my favorite one and not many people seem to read or comment on my blog I am realizing that maybe I am not gifted at blogging. I guess I just don't always have a blog worthy life. Or maybe I am just not looking at this the right way. Claire told me my blog was boring since it was just about stuff I wanted to buy. I guess making a celebration of my consumerism isn't exactly blog worthy, but I still think shopping and talking about what I would buy if I could buy lots of stuff if pretty darn fun. This all brings us to what could be a great format for a blog- maybe my blog- SPECIAL SHARES.
While I was in Germany on my mission my first companion was Sister Mathews. She was a cheerleader from Utah and she was super hard working a focused. Maybe a little intensely focused for me, because I still wasn't used to being a missionary and I didn't really know who I was or what I wanted from life. What I am saying is that I wanted to talk about non "missionary" things including boys or home life. It seems like the most random things come to mind to say when you are compelled to be with someone for 24 hours a day 7 days a week. At the very beginning of our companionship Sister Mathews introduced me to the concept of a "Special Share." This term applies to lots of things you can talk about- like a birthing story when no one has asked or something about your health. One day the Mission President's wife told us about how she had really bad diarrhea the whole time she was at training at the MTC. That was a special share. It probably counted as two since it was at a zone conference in her testimony. Sister Mathews limited me to two special shares a day.
Today I visited my friend Allison and we walked from her house to ALDI, a local supermaket. I thought it was going to be close but it actually was about a fourty minute walk each way. I didn't feel like I had to go to the gym after that. An interesting thing happened though today while I was hanging out with Allison. Her sister had a baby and Allison asked me my birthing story. Immediately, I thought of the special share.
A birthing story really is a special share, and since I am limited to two a day I think I should put two birthing special shares on my blog. Because I can.

  1. At some point as Danielle was getting pulled out with forceps and they were cutting the cord and me with a big pair of scissors- somewhere in the gore of birth I ended up with a substantial amount of blood on my face. Maybe I got flicked in the face with the cord blood I was meaning to donate for research. I am still not quite sure of how I got it, but I just remember it and also my intense desire to finally drink juice.
  2. I had an incredibly difficult time adjusting back to using the bathroom after having a baby.
Now the second special share is obviously more special than the first, but from it we learn a lot about what a special share should be- a little bit too personal but not necessarily so graphic that people know what is going on. I still have some shame, after all. Well those are my special shares of the day. And in honor of the special share I am including a photo of the game of Twilight Imperium John and I are playing all alone. It is taking up the whole dinner table which means either we need a bigger table or we need to finally finish the game. I miss all the old game partners! Thanks for participating in my special share.

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Money Mondays

Money Mondays this week involves decorating the front bathroom and I am not quite sure what I want but I think I should allow myself some money for it. I found some things on Etsy that are nice but not exactly what I want. Bundart did this piece with a modern birch tree. bsartstudio has a really nice painting that might look great in the bathroom that you can see in the picture with the couch. Flandersfield has some of my favorite stuff on etsy and they have great green prints but I keep finding myself drawn to the pink prints. maybe that would work in Danielle's room.
A shades of Green Mark Rothko might actually be the ideal print but I haven't found one yet that is with white and green and maybe a little yellow.
Flandersfield has a great bunch of green prints and four of them would look great in a grouping. I would like to have several plant pictures but there are already a grouping of green frames with Danielle in it. So for Money Mondays I want a painting that is green and white and that's it for the bathroom. I want it to be an outline of a plant or a shape. Maybe if I find another type of fabric and mount it or frame it in a white frame I could use it. We have such a great color in the bathroom but it makes matching the wall harder. Every time I go in there I think about what I could put in the bathroom.
I added a bunch of green prints that I like to my etsy favorites and I am open to ideas for what I could put on the walls in the bathroom. I guess this has been a decorating week but that is what I like to spend money on lately.
Total Cost (Budget) $400.00

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Help me decorate the guest room

I am so happy with the Amy Butler Quilt I made and it lives in our guest room. Only now I am going to paint the guest room and decorate the walls. I need help with ideas. Philadelphia magazine had a cute set of them from ozwalled. I like the golden yellow color.
Etsy also has some ideas including the cute oneupdesigns wall graphic that I think might look good. I can't decide exactly what type of decal I would want- I am leaning toward three different options- some of them are called brocade and that style is probably my favorite. But there are other good styles- the floral pink on the right is great and I think it would look good in white. yellow paint with a white decal might be fun without being too obtrusive and obnoxious. the swirly pattern also looks good but I am not sure how it would look with the quilt. So now I need everyone's help- do I do it in white or teal and should I stick with a yellow paint color? I am open to ideas.
I decided to include a picture of some of the Amy Butler Fabrics that I have in my quilts- I was thinking it might be fun to try to get someone to make me a decal that matches the quilt exactly but that might be more expensive and I don't know if the designs are perfect. I am open to other options and maybe a monogram which would be cool. Maybe a little tacky though in the guest room. Tacky and wonderful . Seriously though please tell me what you think. Maybe I should forgo the decals all together or get a cute scripture.

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