Marriage Excellence: The Disclaimer.

Now in order to have a more honest marriage I've thought of some things that we could assign blame for. What inspired this thought? Danielle waking Mark up at one in the morning. She decided to forgo sleep in favor of the much more interesting coloring. She wanted to use her paints so she did. The Blue paint was not as desirable so she took the lid off and dumped it behind the toilet. The yellow paint was only worthy of the hallway floor. But the red paint- Oh the red paint! it was good enough for the bed and the wall and her hair and the toilet and the tub, sink, and the wonderful carpet. In order to tell future generations about the fun she had Danielle drew pictures in a permanent marker she found in my purse. Smiley faces all over the twin bed- and the wall. And oddly on her feet but whatever.
I was so overwhelmed by the paint that I woke John up. Mark was screaming but I thought we should clean his room out a little- you see everything had been emptied from his closet onto the floor, including the new toy bin for his usually immaculate room. John was dumbfounded. Why would someone do such a horrible thing? She has had access to bath paint in the bathroom and markers in her room for a LONG time. Why now? What is wrong with our child?
Then me being overwhelmed by the mess turned into something else: shame.
You see, I remember getting in trouble for coloring on- well, everything. The lampshade, the bed, the wall. John does not remember being in trouble for such blatant destruction of property.
I'm pretty sure he would remember if he had done it.
very sure.

I can't help but wonder why that never came up while we were dating- by the way we are liable to have children that color on things and climb on furniture in order to get objects they should not have. Also, they will probably try to hide food under their beds and hoard our stolen possessions. Let's not talk about what they will do when they are teenagers. After a little consideration of our children I thought of how John could have let me know that out children would have food allergies and probably have acid reflux.

So I thought of a way to make every marriage better. At least if you are planning to reproduce during that marriage. Or even other relationships where children will result- it is a helpful disclaimer to help your spouse know what they are getting into.
Here are some questions that would be helpful as an extension of normal illnesses that would be helpful to know, like epilepsy or diabetes:

During your infancy/childhood did you/ were you

1. have a serious illness
2. described as "colicky"
3. Have an allergy. Describe___
4. Have irregular growth
5. Bite other children
6. Hit other children
7. get kicked out of preschool/daycare/primary
8. Hurt animals (OK side note maybe don't marry the person if this is true)
9. Color on your walls
10. Color on other furniture
11. Color on other people
12. Steal things from your family
13. steal things from school
14. steal things from friends
15. break other kids' toys
16. hoard food under your bed
17. never go to bed
18. purposefully disobey your parents
19. throw temper tantrums
20. Break windows on purpose
21. sneak around while your parents were asleep to do things you knew you shouldn't do.
22. wake your siblings up.
23. try to hide the sheets you painted on.
24. lie about wetting the bed.
25. Lie about other things. Describe_____
    

Not all those things apply to me, but I would like to take this moment to say that my mom has a photo of me after we colored all over our bodies. Not to be confused with the time we colored all over the walls. Also we did it in the morning- not like when we colored on our bedroom furniture when we were staying up late. Like we did every night.
and I hoarded food under my bed. and stole all my dad's quarters. and some other stuff. Like the time I tried to steal my cousin's toys.

And all this before I even started Kindergarten.

sorry love.

I'm pretty optimistic about the way we cleaned everything out of Danielle's room so fast. No more toys, no more bookshelves. No more pillow pets. She was so exhausted during the process she fell asleep. at 1:30 in the morning. I know you thought that was a good idea earlier, and I'm glad we finally did it.
Less optimistic about: the carpet....

What should you have told your spouse about?

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Nuttybars For Everyone

Just like their mother, My children think the world would be a better place with Nutty bars. For everyone. Mark saw a box and started dancing around the kitchen. and yelling. He quickly called Danielle over to share in the glory. He offered them them to all of us.

Oh our little Marker- a food pusher already.

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Sunday Thoughts: Crazy Mom

Today was an interesting day. I let Mark take a nap this morning and missed church. I was going to go with John to the tough mudder to see him run. He finished and I'm super proud of him. You should look at the run HERE.

I was going to go with him- my friend said she would watch our kids the whole time (Hello HUGELY Generous) and we brought them over. Then I started feeling bad. I'm still breastfeeding mark so I guess this would be like weaning him. He usually wakes up at 4 in the morning to eat- but twice last week he waited until 8. I missed my baby after only an hour. We didn't end up driving up early because someone needed a ride the next morning- so I started regretting my decision to go- we could have dropped them off the next day- we didn't need to make someone else watch them right away. I kept asking John every ten minutes if he thought the kids were OK. I wanted to call my friend and ask if Mark was being too hard. I thought about bringing him to the race the next day. outside all day rather than with friends probably wasn't the best idea ever.

My friend didn't beat me up when I called past midnight and got our kids.

because I had a meltdown. John didn't get back until around 8 tonight so that would have been long but I bet the kids would have survived. I just didn't know if I was ready to wean Mark so suddenly. of course now I decided to wean him next week during Thanksgiving break. I just didn't feel ready because I hadn't PLANNED it. I knew Danielle would be having the time of her life with her friends but I wasn't ready to leave Mark.

The most surprising thing was how crazy I felt. I felt horribly guilty. I tried to convince myself I was worried about Mark or my friend being upset but it was really about me. I need my kids to be around. I have a hard time when they are gone. Not to play with friends or if I need to run errands for a few hours or go to the gym, but the idea of being gone a whole day terrified me. Maybe I can blame the breastfeeding. I wonder if I am just crazy or if a lot of moms go through this crazy guilty attachment.
I tell myself it was OK since Mark had a fever this morning. It went away with Tylenol and he doesn't have it anymore. Really I just realized another thing about being a mom- I feel like I have this hormonal physical connection to my children. We worked in the yard today- the three of us all bundled up planting bulbs. Or playing with the dog- Mark loves it when Austin plays ball with him. I'm still not quite sure why I stayed home or if I'm going to turn into one of those super protective crazy stalker moms someday- but now I understand them a little more.
which might not be a good thing...

have you ever realized your concern about your kids was more about you than about them?

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Tales from the Toy Bin

Today our toy bin got some new additions: The water bottles. I told Danielle we had to pick up the front room because I was losing it over my house. So all the toys she wanted to keep went into the toy bins/ottomans. Storage Ottomans are the best thing that ever happened to children's toys in my opinion. She kept all the water bottles.
And she gets to keep her "boat." Danielle loves boats and floating around the sea that is the downstairs. I got her a new boat from the basement. She and baby Mark sat in it for about 15 minutes and played with water bottles.

Another favorite toy- the fishing pole. Danielle has chores like picking up her toys and cleaning her room. Also being good on trips with mom. She gets some money for her chores which she stores mostly in various socks in her room. I try to hide it but that girl really thinks money goes in a sock. Maybe someday she will be a good saver. So a little while ago we went next door with some of her hard earned money and bought some toys at the neighbors yard sale. we had a 7 dollar budget and came home with a playhouse, ponies, and a fishing pole.
I bought her ponies out of my own pocket. The fishing pole was really the only thing she wanted and it cost 50 cents. Every day Danielle and Mark go fishing. The little plastic fish go to the store with us sometimes.

The last best toy ever is probably the stick. The stick is closely related to the rock but is more exciting and possibly more dangerous. The stick can be a magic wand or anything you want it to be. Austin the dog understands the importance of the stick and Danielle loves to play fetch with that dog.

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