Good Morning: I have a cold



Well Since I've had several people tell me my post last night seemed cryptic I decided to post today. I really just have a cold. My brain seems really foggy. I've been a little bit sad this last week. I started training for a half marathon with Claire- then when may rolled around and we finished I gained five pounds. I guess if your activity level drops that much you gain lots of weight. Maybe I should just start training for another run. Hugely depressing. Well this morning the scale informed me that I lost three pounds this week. Today I started on weight watchers so we'll see if I can stay consistent. I was shocked- I've been really good at slowly losing weight since Mark was born (like a pound every three weeks after the first 6 weeks). I still want to lose weight from Danielle. I've thought a lot about trying to be happy about the changes that happen from pregnancy- like now I can do a sit up, when Mark was born- not so much. I am shocked at how hard it is to get your body to cooperate and do the things I'm used to being able to do. Running was the perfect exercise because it doesn't make me feel depressed about things I used to be able to do- I could never run.
End discussion of weight that I obsess about daily.
In good news I was on the front page of etsy today- or rather Eli my nephew was. I knew he was a good model. I was pretty happy about it. I can't hear much of what is going on today because I am stuffed up, and Mark is sick. He likes to wake up every two hours in the night. That is rude. Mark has never really liked going anywhere and it is sometimes just easier to stay home. So I've become a little bit of a hermit. I'm finally getting friends here that drag me out of my cave to go places, which I really like.
Erik had lots of ideas about etsy and things I could make- I hope I'm able to make more things. I'm part of a really awesome treasury group called Curation Nation but I still need more in my shop.


see that cute little boy in a bear shirt? That is my nephew. He is DARLING.

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Sunday Thoughts

today I have a cold. I think I died.
and I have a fence.
my whole world fell apart this week.
but who cares?-
now i have a fence.

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Sunday Thoughts

Sometimes I go to church on Sunday. OK a lot of the time. I have made an important observation about our bishop.


plus = our bishop

How does no one else see this?

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Eli


Eli is a better model than baby Mark.

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Dear Friend,


Dear friend,
Thanks so much for using all my paper towels to blow your nose. The first time it happened and I told you we have tissues (with lotion and aloe) I thought you were just in a rush to get back to work. I guess there is nothing like the tough feeling of a paper towel rubbing on your tender nose. Luckily I got a good deal on the tissues so your method of handling your bodily fluid is maybe three times more expensive. Also I appreciate that once we ran out you used a handful of toilet paper. Just a word to the wise- if you are at someone else's house and you put anything in the toilet, just flush. I know some people follow that "if it's yellow let it mellow" method of saving water. I am not one of those people.
The tissues were on the back of that unflushed toilet. They come in a little box. They are puffs and I actually think I prefer kleenex but they were 50 cents more expensive so I went with the puffs. If I could only get someone to use these ones I can spring for the more expensive tissues. But next time I know you are coming over I think I will get those eco conscious paper towels that feel a bit like sandpaper that my sister Claire has. I noticed that you left a few tissues on the kitchen table on my table cloth. Please throw them in the trash next time. I want to be a good hostess and all but I just don't want to clean up your snotty paper towels any more. Once my grandfather visited my aunt who didn't have the right brand of paper towels. The correct brand being Bounty. He asked specifically before he came for that brand and when she couldn't produce it he left without leaving his suitcase to buy the paper towels. I also feel that sense of loss when I don't have my favorite paper towels.

Also, thanks for asking me if my three year old could read or write yet. I guess being able to play scales on the piano wasn't enough for you. And thanks for looking at the blogs I made for my kids and saying you would rather just play with kids. I guess I would rather make a blog than play with my children.

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Danielle:
"Hey mom, take a picture of me."
Me
"thanks."

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Found


One Toy Truck.
Carved and Wooden.
Found By Danielle.
Re-Found by Janae.
Could be yours.

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Sunday Thoughts

Some days I just like to see a funny commercial. I'm glad John doesn't have "lady Scented bodywash"

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My Pictures



these are two of the buttons that rikrakstudio designed for me. she is so nice.

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Special Share




Special Share

My first mission companion had really strict rules about talking about things from home or past boyfriends. She called these distracting discussions "special shares." You were limited to two special shares a day. Probably the coolest thing ever- since everyone is guilty of special shares.
Just a little too much information creeps out of all of us every now and then.

and now for my special share of the day.

It starts with Baby Mark. He likes to climb on things like your face or the dog or a pillow.

I thought he was going to walk late. Now I'm not so sure. Mark is standing and taking steps.
This from the little cuddle? I guess my baby is growing up. He climbs in my lap when he is hungry and he sleeps through the night. He has six teeth and he has almost mastered not stuffing his mouth so full that he gags.
I feel like it happened overnight.
The diaper sprayer came so tomorrow is the day of the cloth- we have enough diapers to go. I did it for a while but couldn't stand the whole sprayer in a bucket over the sink. (although it was cheap which is awesome).
In other news I am having a really hard time with knowing what I should do about breastfeeding. I've been having really bad anxiety pretty much the whole time Mark has been alive. My heart pounds and sometimes I can't breathe when I feed the baby or when I lay down to sleep. For a while I just gave up on going to bed because I couldn't sleep anyway. My doctor told me the medicine I should take isn't safe for nursing. Maybe I got it from my family to hate taking medicine and dislike going to doctors. I don't want to be told that there is something wrong with me. Or worse yet- I think there is something wrong and I got to get help and they have nothing for me.
I just wanted to nurse a baby for a year, dammit. I made it through bleeding for a bloody month and now they want me to stop cold turkey? I pumped and then fed him and worked so hard until breastfeeding worked and I couldn't remember what I was fighting for. I am stalling. I think tomorrow I will call the lactation specialists just to double check about the medicine. I have been saying this for days.
I don't actually have panic attacks- so it is manageable, and my heart is healthy- turns out a pounding heart will get you lots of really neat medical tests.

I feel like being a parent makes me feel totally out of control sometimes. I still have baby weight from Danielle. There don't seem to be tangible measures of what quality parenting is. Today Danielle had a melt down at the mall and I wanted to quit. Screaming for 20 minutes because I won't buy you a ball makes me CRAZY. She had to throw away 7 of her toys when we got home. She told me she wanted to throw me in the trash instead. Where the hell did that come from? I didn't lose it which is an accomplishment. It is so humbling to be a mom. I am constantly reminded of how little I know. I also think about if my prayers and what I want sound like Danielle screaming in the mall. Or if I am as slow to understand what I should do as baby Mark is when we try to teach him not to scratch our faces off with his razor sharp baby nails.
Although some decisions are hard to make- I refuse to give up who I want to be. It's nice to feel like even in an overwhelming time I know myself. Let's hope my children can forgive me for my self centered parenting.
I really respect those moms who are so sure of their decisions. Maybe I also think they are a little crazy too. Sorry for the swears all my really righteous friends. These things happen to some of us. Probably not you.

end of special share- what's yours?

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I need a makeover

WAHMaholic’s Blog Makeover Giveaway

I am joining WAHMaholic’s Monthly Makeover Giveaway! Here’s what’s at stake:

Up to $100 worth of WordPress or Blogger Makeover including:



  • custom header and footer
  • custom background
  • custom favicon
  • custom navigation bar
  • custom post footer (for Blogger)
  • fancy post title font
  • 125×125 button/badge
  • personalized signature
  • fancy comment section
  • layout style of winner’s choice
  • and anything else that will make the makeover fab

For more details on how to gain raffle points for the giveaway, head on to WAHMaholic’s blog for details. Below is my entry for the month of June.


It is true- I would like to get highlights and a haircut and lose some weight instantly. So I went to the gym this morning.
I would also like a blog makeover. I don't know how to make pages. I wish I did so I could make pages for the LDs Etsy blog.
I wish I had skills. Or money to use someone else's skills. Yes Definately money is better. I realized the other day I am jealous of mommy's who get free stuff to review. Especially cloth diapers because I want to get nice ones and they are expensive- how will I figure out what the best ones's are?
maybe if I entered a contest it would happen. I could win and they would fix all my problems for me.
except maybe not my unruly haircut.

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The Great Shed Is Upon Us




Many of our friends have noticed that Austin seems to lose hair every time you pet him. They seem not to believe that we brush him. Wow- he is losing lots of hair, you should brush him.
Really? Why didn't I think of that?
Now don't get me wrong, Austin loves being groomed. Even though he frequently smells like aerosolized waste we do take care of him. Austin is a pretty pretty princess after all. he knows how important it is to look pretty.
One of the benefits of going camping this last weekend was that the great shed started with Austin. Each year it happens. Austin gets brushed for maybe an hour and still loses hair as he walks around. He lays on the floor and leaves great clumps everywhere. I vacuum twice a day and constantly pick up hair. It is then that I realize that some of Austin's undercoat is white. Our backyard is covered in a layer of this short white hair.
Tips for surviving the great shed:
NEVER brush the dog inside.
You can get your dog groomed, but you will need to do it every day for two weeks.
Your house will still be filled with hair.
A mutt can have a short lab coat and thick coat like a Shepherd.- Way more hair than other dogs.
You are lucky if your dog is a princess like mine.
Don't waste your time with a lint roller. it won't help at all.

Do you ever wish that there was a vacuum hair removing product for dogs? Although our little princess is terrified of the vacuum so we probably wouldn't use it.

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Sunday Thoughts

Seriously? I think I died. For real.
First I have a cold.
The perfect mom doesn't get colds.
We fast once a month- not eating or drinking for two consecutive meals (24 hours) for one day. we also pray for specific help or inspiration during that time. The money we save on the meals is donated to a "fast offering" which is used for humanitarian work.
Now some people don't normally fast- if you are taking certain drugs, nursing or pregnant- normal medical stuff. I think you can still get all the blessings of fasting if you do all you can.
Today I fasted almost two meals.

I think it might have made my cold feel better. Plus everything was tasting like snot so I wasn't too hungry.
Do you fast?

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Gifts



I love gifts.
Over the last week I've been contacted twice on Etsy from people trying to get stuff. One of the people said-
"Hi! My name is Ashley and I own a website called Ashlynkray.com where I sell one great item at a time at a really great price. I saw your baby blankets and think you do amazing work! I would like to feature them on my site if you are interested. How it works is you sell me as much for as little as you can. I then pass these great prices onto the website where thousands of moms constantly check it looking for the next great deal. You get to say what you would like about the items in the description part of the listing as well as the pictures and include your link so they, their friends and others they talk to can shop from you directly in the future. 2 websites are mamabargains.com and babysteals.com if you want to see what it would look like.
I would be looking to purchase right away and they would be featured this week.
Let me know if you might be interested and thank you so much for reading : )
Ashley"

you know the two sites she mentioned were not actually her sites, which doesn't come up.
the next email told me I had great products she would love to review on her blog- and do a giveaway! Thanks so much for offering to do a giveaway! I don't really make enough money to need a tax write off though.
I didn't respond to either email. I guess I could give this stuff to people. I looked at her blog and I have done giveaways on blogs before but they have never translated to sales. Then again, I don't really trust the 'mommy bloggers' who "review" products. Really? They give you the product for free- when someone gives me something for free even if the item itself is a little vomit inducing I am thrilled to have a present. That means someone thought of me. So how can you really do a reasonable review? I have been thinking of cloth diapers and looking around at sites and finding no informative information on those blog reviews. Did you really love the free stuff they sent you to try?
It's like the mommy bloggers that were speaking out against pampers and were flown out to a meeting. Now they are gushing about how awesome pampers is. Seems like a huge load of crap to me- like they were only complaining to get positive attention. What will pampers do about my frustration? Well I guess they felt important enough after visiting with the Pampers people.
Many of these people are phonies. Just like the happy about everything bloggers. Maybe some of them really do love everything about motherhood though, and then I am just too jealous to read their blogs. but the reviewers- meh. They lie about what they like. They make up stories.
oh wait- some of my dear friend posts are a combination of friends. That probably also qualifies as made up. I want to keep my real friends, after all...
So these emails have just upset me. I don't want to have to deal with them.
so I did what most mature adults would do and ignored them- and now I am complaining about them.
Maybe I'm just bitter that I don't get free stuff to try out. here are some reviews of baby carriers for you-
hotslings- no go. hurts your shoulder a lot- and the fabric rolls up and digs into your shoulder or neck. They sure do look hot though- so I guess maybe for a newborn. Danielle hated being in these things.
Other slings- No thanks on products that had the parts break so kids fell out and now carry a warning for kids getting suffocated.
Moby wrap- no thanks. Huge fabric so you are bound to drag it in the dirt when you are putting it on and then it loosens. by the end of the day your lower back hurts if you don't have Boy Scout tying skills. and you don't.
Ergo carrier- I like it OK- baby hates that stupid little head cover though- do any babies let fabric hold their heads down? back doesn't hurt as much.
Jeep Carrier- ugly. My husband doesn't really like wearing it either. Do you want one? Send me your address and I will mail it to you.
Ring Sling- like the bad thing of the Hotsling with the long dragging fabric of the Moby- hooray!
Baby Bjorn- never tried it.
Mai Thai- also never tried it, but the long ties might have the moby problem of dragging on the ground. Some are cute though.

and the overall winner- Ergo
overall review- How the heck do people think it's "easy" to nurse in these things. so stupid. Also baby carriers make me a little sweaty- especially in summer. Maybe that's why strollers are so popular.

we also have a camping carrier- but people who wear those around the house look and are ridiculous- I am sorry.

I'm not judging people who solicit others for free items. but I'm also not responding to either message. Even though I love gifts- I love giving them to people I know and like. and I am totally open to doing reviews on my blog- but I hate most baby products so I would make a terrible reviewer.

How do you feel about gifts with strings attached?

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