My Family: A 10 Item Update

what fun these back to school photos would be if we were in Utah.

Here is a Madsen Family Update in 10 Items.

1. Austin ate some ant poison and had his first accident in our house.
2. Danielle told us she would be nice to people when she was a doctor. Her first job aspiration. I wondered why she always wanted to go the the doctor and listen to our hearts with the stethoscope John gave her. John seemed a little giddy about it, which was cute.
   
3. Mark has moved down to the 40th percentile in weight. He gets too distracted to eat. He has a milk intolerance.
   
4. John has an ulcer.
5. I have been folding all of my fabric in the same way. Who knew that a simple blog tutorial would make me so happy.
6. Austin is bathed and I found the hole in the backyard that he has been drinking about. I stopped worried about him having kidney disease.
   
7. Danielle started Preschool. I am so proud of my little girl and she loves packing her backpack and going to school.
8. Mark is trying to stop taking naps. But he is also sleeping at night and only wakes up once and is a darling little old man. he has four words- our names and "Uh Oh" which is a throwing game he likes to play with his food.
   
9. John is in Med School. Still. For a long time to come. He announces that he is boring.
10. I sold some stuff on Etsy. and Finished our walkway. still have half a wall to tile in the bathroom.
    

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My Dream Linen 80's house

Today I got my restoration Hardware catalog. 300 pages of linen covered bliss. and some very oddly scaled ceiling lights but they weren't linen so who cares about them.

In all seriousness I want a linen couch. This one. Or rather I did when I saw it at the outlet for really cheap but not so much now that it would cost me more than 3,000.00 dollars. Who doesn't need a fancy couch for their house. The best part? This one is comfortable and- covered with linen. Linen. The new luxury fabric.

The other day I was thinking- How could I make my whole home a sort of "Linen" color.
Restoration Hardware came to my rescue. Now I can have a couch, pillows, coffee table, chairs, drapes and furniture all the color of linen. Those Cart Tables really have sort of a linen color to them. So trendy right now and in just the right color! Or I could just get one covered In Linen. I am so excited that my outside table can be linen colored and my chairs and my dining table and all the chairs around it could be linen.

I was hoping to find some peculiar looking chairs- like an egg chair just like one I saw in a museum- only in Linen instead of another fabric. They have one with Burlap on the back. What a wild ride that would be. Linen+Burlap= the best ever.



people are always saying that architectural elements are good for a house. So I thought my 80s house could use a few columns here and there. I could put my kids on top of them for time out. No more wandering out of time out now! Or I could put a stone sphere on them. The best part? Both the color of linen.

Then for the table I might branch out to an almost duck cloth color. Although I could never do those plants- hello green was not in my color scheme! One thing I never realized before was that Antlers are close to the color of linen! So I thought about getting together all my hunting trophies and crafting them into a massive light fixture of death. Hopefully I'm good at cleaning things- right? But then I realized that Restoration Hardware had that Linen lighting Covered! I won't even need to bust out my linen lamp shades.

Or Will I?

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Halloween Candy: Giveaway 1

As the proud owner of two crowns I have received advice from the dentist about how to avoid cavities. Although they tell me my cavities "aren't my fault" (whatever the heck that means) I also have a pretty close relationship with dentists. I remember watching my first root canal in a mirror when I was nine. It was fascinating- I was bleeding but it didn't hurt. I know to explain that my nerve on the left bottom is flat and wide so they can numb it all.
I read my father in law's orthodontic journals for fun.
I also love Halloween candy. one of my dentists told me that I should avoid any candy that is sticky to help me avoid cavities. I don't know if you've ever thought about it but basically every good candy is sticky. the displays for halloween taunt me. Milk duds for example, are very sticky and very good. I am sucking a piece of residual caramel off of my tooth right now. Those little give away packets are usually about the right size for your candy craving, except those darned milk duds packages. I don't know about you but I don't usually think to myself- I could go for two to four milk duds right now. You grab your little box and try to pry open the super strong glue and wait for your four milk duds. I only grab one box at a time- I am trying to be healthy after all. Then you get one of the crappy boxes with two.
It's only when you grab five boxes that you find one with the four plus a tiny extra piece. Oh wait- who can I share this box with, two milk duds fill me right up. Pretty soon you've convinced yourself that it's OK to eat another box- after all just walking to the candy bag across the room probably burns off three milk duds.
It isn't until I'm sitting at the computer writing a blog post surrounded by eight mini boxes that I think maybe I shouldn't have eaten so much. Eight Boxes probably equals about 32 milk duds. Is that more or less than is in a normal box? I always feel like a whole box of milk duds is too much candy for me, but not with the tiny boxes. Maybe I would actually eat the equivalent of several boxes.
What is your favorite Halloween candy?
In honor of my love of the entire bag of milk dud Halloween candy I consumed this week I am giving away a bag of Milk duds to one of my blog readers/friends. Because I think it's funny. What do you have to do to win? Leave a comment with the number of crowns you have. Pending crowns count.
and that is pure fun.
I will mail it next monday: Sept 27, so comment before then people.

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Happy Bithday Mark!

Baby Mark is one, so I guess he is officially a toddler now.
He is also my squishy little love. He comes up to us and presses his open mouth against us to give kisses.
Here are 12 things to know about our 12 month old:

Mark likes to crawl about on the floor- if he can't have his freedom he gets very very upset.

Mark loves to play with danielle- I love that he calls me mama, John dada and Daniel da-el.

Mark has been taking steps for over three months and is still not walking.

Mark has to have something in his hand when he is eating.

Mark loves rugs.

Mark also loves dirt.

Mark doesn't like other people- he wants mommy and daddy with him and he wants to play with Danielle and if we are out he wants mommy to hold him. He is sure of this.

Mark puts toys away with us.

Mark loves to throw a ball and chase it.

Mark likes to feed Austin food from the table.

Mark wakes up twice a night to eat.

Mark hates car rides- he can stay up over 12 hours to complain about them.

We love our baby Mark. Happy Birthday.

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Marriage Excellence: Chairs

Well once we got gifted Chairs from John's dad.
Then we forgot to take them with us when we moved to PA.
Then John's dad gave them to someone else because he figured we didn't want them if we didn't take them.
This reminds me of something a friend of mine talked about in marriage counseling: You don't get to decide how people spend their money.
But how unrealistic can that possibly be? Who hasn't been mad at their parents for getting a sibling a better birthday present or an expensive wedding? We need coping mechanisms.

Marriage Excellence tells us that we can't be responsible for how other people spend their money- Like if your in laws buy one person a house and not your spouse. Or a car or a set of furniture. Everyone has a right to spend their money how they want, so if you complain about it you are acting entitled to it, which is incorrect. To help with this, the Excellence plan has a few coping mechanisms.
1. You can criticize the item everyone else got all you want.
2. You could probably also criticize the people who got the item but that's dangerous. It's not their fault they are the favorites- you are lucky they don't laugh in your face about it. Unless they do.
3. You can make yourself a free shirt on Vista Print that says "I am my in laws least favorite."
4. You can talk about how you knew your mom was holding out on you because she wanted to give it to your other sister.
5. Finally- you can shop online and pretend to make bills and send them to your family.


I really think two of these chairs from Horchow would be such a bold choice for the front room- don't you? Total Bill $3,645.00

or this couch would look great :

Do you have any suggestions for Chairs? I wonder how hard it is to learn how to make Chairs.
During the Marriage excellence exercise you don't have to try to find the least expensive chairs so your family doesn't feel like you are trying to get them to spend a ridiculous amount of money on you. Just find the ones that are actually your favorite.

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Sunday Thoughts

I guess they say that the first year you live in a place you catch everything. I remember when I was doing my student teaching I constantly had a cold. My father in law said the first year he was doing orthodontics he got sick a lot from being around all the kids.
It's like they say Children, like little petri dishes.
speaking of which once we visited my friends and he was growing something in a petri dish that he had scraped off of his kitchen sponge. I was fascinated and grossed out by cultivating bacteria in your closet. also glad that I refuse to own a kitchen sponge because they smell bad. always.
Kitchen sponges and rags that people use in their sinks- probably some of the most disgusting things on earth. which is why god invented the paper towel.

Well we have lived here over a year, so why does everyone have a cold again? John has some disgusting sore on the back of his throat and I'm convinced it's flesh eating bacteria. Maybe it is this same vigorous paranoia that makes me want to throw up about sponges.

My throat is totally hurting today. Although I probably should even talk because I've got nothing on open sore man.

Today I pondered how interesting being a parent can be- Danielle has decided she wanted to be carried everywhere today. Seriously I can't even carry my baby everywhere, which is probably why both of my children learned to crawl fairly early. I feel like she just realized that she has a sibling and it annoys her so she climbs up on the furniture to hide from him. Usually with his toys. Mark is also afflicted with open sores and some of the worst diaper rash ever. second only to Danielle when she was younger. It is harder to have him be a free range baby than it was with Danielle- mainly because of Danielle.
What is up with the horrible diaper rash? With Danielle supposedly it was disposables. I don't know if it's because we used disposables for a day or because I changed my cloth diaper detergent to hard rock detergent or if it's because he started drinking cows milk or because he ate some strawberries a few days ago but we have a serious problem on our hands here. Poor baby Mark is so sad, but he tends to be rather sensitive.
It is a miracle I got the dishes done today, although I didn't get the laundry put away. and since we canceled lunch with our friends today I have a lot of vegetarian bacon in my fridge that I am going to have to find a home for.

How was your Sunday?

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Dress Ups with Friends

Some days it's fun to wear all your panties. Just put them on inside your second set of pajamas.
The girls had a mini sleep over last night.
I think they brushed their teeth about 5 times.

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Sunday Thoughts: Zweifel

Today I wore exciting shoes to church. They helped me be motivated to go. Don't worry- I got them on clearance with an additional coupon. I think I was literally as tall as John. and that's saying something since I don't start out really tall. Thank goodness I got to wear them once since they will be in the closet until summer next year with labor day coming tomorrow.

The 15 year old in our ward who is pregnant said she liked my shoes. Maybe she has turned 16. I wanted to talk to her about her baby but it is just a little too rude I think. I heard through the grapevine that her mother is adopting the baby and that the young women leaders have told the young women not to throw her a baby shower. They say it is the position of the church that her baby should be put up for adoption.
I didn't really know there was an official position about this stuff. I wasn't happy with the explanation that they couldn't throw a shower because they don't want the young women thinking that having a baby in high school is "fun." They need to set an example to not approve of this in family adoption.

My sister and brother in law adopted a baby, and she is the most darling think ever. They are probably more opinionated about this topic than I am, because I am a little bit at a loss. I feel like all babies should have good families that care for them but is it different if the family adopts the baby? I am dying to know how the girl came to her decision. I had a roommate that got pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption and I've known people who had kept their babies.
What I don't really like is telling people they need to shun a 15 year old pregnant girl who is probably having a hard enough time as it is. I hope that she gets the support she needs and that the baby is all right. Will the teachers also tell the young women not to be nice to the baby?

I guess that's why bastard is a curse word, I've just never seen it first hand.

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The Road Trip Tryout.

I know you might want to go on a road trip with me and my children. Just the other day I volunteered to drive to Colorado with a friend.

oddly enough, she is no longer interested in road tripping with me.

I don't know why- all we did was drive to the outlets in Lancaster together. Baby Mark cried the whole time. Literally almost the entire 2.5 hour drive in the car he was crying. I tried to time it so he could sleep over his nap time but he had other ideas.

also Danielle fussed about her neck hurting.

and about someone pretending her new bedding was a towel.

and about her headphones getting wrapped up in her hair.

and about being hungry.

and about being thirsty.

she didn't really cry about sharing her game, which I was happy about. Or maybe I just forgot that part.

the girls did try to unbuckle and climb around the car.

and we moved the seats around

and we filled the car too full really.

and Danielle peed her pants in the middle of a store.

Mark finally fell asleep after 12 hours of sleeping- he learned to self soothe from all that great sleep training people recommended to us. I guess Danielle's new big girl seat is too big for her since the seat belt gave her a cut on her neck. I felt terrible when I realized what had happened, just like the whole time the children were crying or complaining I wanted to stop driving and help them. I guess I just don't press on very well, which is probably why it took us 7 hours to drive to New Jersey the other day even though it should have taken 3.5.

I guess if you really want to get somewhere you have to keep driving.

Nichole said I could have warned her.

You can imagine that I was non-plussed, is this not one of the greatest joys of parenting? Don't all children have a constant stream of screaming or complaints in the car?

Danielle, with the help of one dear salesman, learned what Jibbets were, and is now the proud owner of a some which were placed on her new crocs that I bought to replace the urine soaked shoes she had with her. I knew I should have brought along an extra outfit- confirming my faith that my mother's intuition is indeed growing. Also for all you parents if you are buying one light up fairy you should really buy one for each foot or your child will drive you nuts with stomping.

Nichole claims that children like Mark should be able to stay asleep when they fall asleep in the car.

I suppose next she will think it is inappropriate to climb all over furniture at restaurants and try to crawl all over the floor with the baby. I don't know how people ever leave their homes with children. Maybe they have Alien children like Darla that are really good.

Nichole has two girls aged three and two (the three year old is almost four) and they didn't seem to contribute at all to the complaining.

But I think it's important to contribute. I guess I'll be searching for a new friend for road trips with children.

Do you have any road trips planned?

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