Money Mondays

Well I want to get Danielle a chair. She likes to sit with us and mostly she likes to sit wherever I am sitting. When we were at Grandma Sharp's house she really liked the rocking chair that was her size so I wish we could get her a chair her size. She loves the chairs at Target and I thought I wanted a brown one, until I decided to look online. We were going to get the brown one from Babies r us for 79.99 but we went to the store and the fabric was coming off one side and there was metal sticking out of the back. I decided to research online and found the cutest chair ever at Dimples and Dandelions. There were some other chairs I liked but nothing was under $300.00! The Cherry blossom chair is $166.00 with a $19.00 shipping charge. I know it won't match out front room which was the original goal with the chair but really, you have to admit it is the cutest thing in the world. Maybe it will be her Christmas present.

Total Cost $184.00

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Danielle the Baby

Danielle is so cute and I entered her into the Gap baby casting call. we will see from December 8 to 21st if she is a finalist and then we get to vote which babies win. Danielle sometimes likes to get her photo taken but not always. We got family photos in Utah and I am pretty excited about them. She likes to run around and look at things and didn't want to be too happy about the process at first. I love her tea collection outfit it is so cute. Their clothes are still some of my favorite for babies.

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How embarassing.

Well Jen and I are driving across the country and I have to share the most embarrassing thing that happened to me recently. You see I found some toilet paper in my pants. More specifically my friend found it. I didn't know what to say- the only other time this has happened to me was in college from a boy. I was mortified. Today it is worse. She asked me what was in my pants, and I don't think anyone else knew but she totally saw me pull out a piece of toilet paper. This person has historically been worried that I think they are messy, and the reason that I had the toilet paper is that I put toilet paper down as a mock seat cover. At their home. Where they live and reside.
I wasn't thinking that their house was messy. When I was young we learned about the dangers of hepatitis C in school- you should always use toilet seat covers. My mom showed us how to make our own toilet seat covers for when they are out of the regular ones. I have always preferred the toilet paper ones. It is easier to manipulate their shape. I always use two layers at least and start over if there is any suspicious liquid. I have learned that some people squat but that just seems a little more dangerous- so even with the crouch I feel the paper is important. The ritual of covering the toilet spread from just public toilets to home toilets and sometimes even my own toilet, if I'm not paying attention. How can I explain that it is always better safe than sorry even at someone's toilet in their bedroom in their residence. Is sorry Hepatitis, or some other fluid, or just getting caught with toilet paper in your pants? Do other people always line the seat? These questions are the stuff blogs are made of. Would this count as my most embarrassing moment because I always tell people I don't have one. No more. thanks toilet paper seat cover compulsion.

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Rhinotillexomania

Once when we lived in the house with the pink door I walked into the living room and found my dad sitting on the couch reading a book and picking his nose. As any responsible child would, I reminded him that you shouldn’t pick your nose. Sage that he was my dad saw an opportunity to teach me a lesson. He told me that you only shouldn’t pick your nose if other people can see you. Then he told me it was OK for me to pick my nose around him. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the deal then and I am still not quite sure what to think. Apparently Stephen Colbert had an author on his show that touted the importance of picking your nose and used children’s natural behavior as an example of why it should happen. While I appreciate the thought I am pretty sure Danielle naturally wants to do a lot of things which aren’t really good for her health.
Jen and I have finally left on the road and my mind returns again to the eternal taboo of nose picking. The wise Aunt Kim explained that there is an unavoidable relationship with nose picking and driving. On the commute home a fun game to play is the “Count the Nose Picker’s” game. I guess the security of your own car makes you forget that people can see you through the window. Even the people in your blind spot can see your habit.
One of the most shocking things ever was when I was filling out one of those “all about you” books with someone I was dating. I love quizzes and quiz books and personality tests. Almost everyone is fantastic. This particular book had a section about bad habits and you just checked a box for each of them. We were answering the questions out loud and I read to him. When we came to the nose picking question he said yes. I moved to the next question and the test went on, but I was shocked. I was shocked because I had lied on that question. No one should admit to picking their nose. It is pretty much accepted as an unsanitary practice. But nose picking is so hard to give up. A commitment to give up nose picking becomes a compromise to only do it in the shower or with a tissue. Of course I know there are some who would check the no box and not understand why others are so disgusting. Probably like Jen. I have never seen Jen pick her nose. I suspect my husband is one of those people too. I have never caught him on the sly- and I watch. While I can’t condone crazy ideas like books about nose picking for pleasure maybe there should be more people who are willing to make the deal my dad made with me.
We will have to keep a count all the way to Philadelphia.

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Driving Music

Today I was told by a song to “Say what you need to say.” My only problem is that I was told to do this about twenty million times, give or take. Also there is a song about hearts all over the world that might be telling a woman that he needs her boob. I am surprised what ends up being a catchy song. I try my best not to listen to the lyrics because a song that I used to like has such inane words that I can’t listen to it anymore. Obviously you cannot breathe with no air, what kind of question is that? Do people ever find themselves singing along with such terrible lyrics and stop themselves, embarrassed? I personally think that I’ve only got four minutes to save to the world sometimes. Driving long distances offers time for introspection about the nature of song lyrics and today we are on our way back across the country. I can’t decide if it is just that I hate music or if I’m just in a bad mood. We recently watched the movie Wall-E- I have to admit that my favorite part was probably the clips from Hello Dolly about putting on your Sunday clothes. Those are good lyrics- who doesn’t feel better when they look hot? Of course the idea of hopping down any street with a parasol and a band accompaniment seems appealing to me as I am safely buckled with our over laden car. In reality it would probably be more like the embarrassing marching band days in middle school where for some reason our school made us wear long white pants and blue tucked in T-shirts in July heat. Reality just isn’t always conducive to musicals- I know a girl who is constantly singing show tunes and I just want to use a little duck tape and a rope to get relief. Or maybe I should just drown her out with the actual shows and an iHome. We all know someone who fails to grasp that the reason they aren’t in the musical is that their talent is insufficient. Like the people who sing along with the radio in the car when other people are in their cars. Unless these people are your sisters it really just showcases your lack of talent. Or utter lack of talent.

The band accompaniment of our lives just isn’t long enough, and if the song was it would probably be boring. As someone who grew up back in the dark ages of cassette tapes I appreciate the hours of labor that can go into making a good mixed tape. The danger we face is when the tape doesn’t automatically switch around and you have to jump up and flip it over seconds before your would be kiss. The pauses were important. They taught us our musical humanity. Sometimes I yearn for a time when we could actually follow Simon and Garfunkel and listen to the sounds of silence.

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