Dear Danielle

Dear Danielle,
Today I would like to quit being your mom. I resign. First when I woke up with a cold and you woke up an hour early I didn't think I wanted to quit. Then when you discovered how to open doors and got my lipstick I sortof wanted to quit. Just so you know lipstick goes on your lips, not your eyes. Is there any child proof makeup I can get her that is just a bit cheaper. Suddenly I know why my friend wears really cheap makeup. It is expendable. I also didn't quit when you pulled your chair up to the counter and threw all the dishes you could on the floor, breaking most of them.
I didn't quit when I was nice enough to buy you a balloon and you handed the man six more when I wasn't looking because you had moved on to trying to eat the candy. I would like to personally punch whoever thought of putting all the candy at toddler height - I would punch them in the nose or maybe just put lipstick in their eyes. I also didn't quit when I didn't give them to you fast enough so you threw yourself on the floor and screamed. Or when you continued screaming for the 20 minute car ride home. Glad I got that errand done. Is it spiteful to pop all the balloons in front of your face? I thought so but next time I will.
What really made me want to quit was you pretending to take a nap. Next time you want to change your poopy diaper remember that your dress is not what you should wipe your poop on. Neither is your table. Or the floor. Good job on finding the 20 baby wipes you did use though. Please don't put the remnants of your adventure in your child size kitchen sink next time. Or hand them to me. I also didn't appreciate you dumping all the dog shampoo in the bath with you while I was rinsing out your dress.
Some days make you realize why your friends told you to have another baby now before you don't want to anymore. If I had only made it four more months maybe Danielle would be an only child.
your former mom.


Sunday Thoughts

Why is Sunday the hardest day to have good thoughts?
Every Sunday I do my best to go to church and sit through the three hours of meetings. It's interesting not teaching during any of the hours. Relaxing. and slower. Today at church Danielle decided to be slightly less terrible than normal so she got away with it. It started when we sat out in the hall during sacrament meeting, and Danielle ran around and tried to talk to everyone. I let her. Not very good for my consistent parenting score but some days you are just glad she isn't screaming about not being able to have your purse.
Really I guess the war started this morning when she asked for mom at her door and I came. She handed me her wet diaper and ran back to her trains she was playing with. Danielle knows that when the diapers are wet you take them off- but starting two decided mommy and daddy shouldn't be the ones taking the diapers off. She can do it, after all. Then I almost forgot the posters I was supposed to make for Enrichment.
We went to all of church though, so maybe I will count this week as a win. Maybe John teaching second hour had something to do with it. I started to get a headache second hour, and by Relief Society I was rooting through Danielle's diaper bag looking for a treat. There were rolls in the kitchen and soup for the choir practice after church. It was sitting there in a crock pot with a name on it. Not my name.
I was wondering if it was bad to steal food from the kitchen during Relief Society. If only I hadn't quit ward choir, there would be no question.
I would have eaten one of those yummy rolls.


Dear Babysitter

Dear Babysitter,
Congratulations on getting Danielle to go to bed! Most of the other people who babysit don't manage it. I am so happy we finally found someone who is reliable.
There is just one thing I need to talk to you about. I noticed that you used the computer like we said you could. Just one thing. You did some things you really should avoid next time. For example, today when I was playing the dragon board on majong I noticed that my win percentage went down 5%. After accusing my husband I realized you were probably the source of that decrease. If you can't win Mahjong, please don't play it on my computer. Minesweeper- that is a game you can play all night and not mess up my percentages. I think you should know this if you are going to continue with our family. I'm not going to say anything else about it, like how I swore at the computer and tried to see if I could reset the game, because that is just immature.
Just don't do it again. Or I'll have to....
Anyway, see you Friday!


Let's Not Talk About It.

Dear Friends,

One of my least favorite things is overhearing just the tail end of some really juicy gossip, only to be met with the response. "You don't want to know." Seriously? I want to know. I want to know about the restraining orders and everything. It's so interesting. I am assuming that all people are equally curious so I like to forward emails. Especially emails where people tell me bad things about myself. Honestly- how bad is your judgment if you chew someone out in an email? The evidence is there. It's like reading a love letter with a girlfriend and asking them what every sentence "means." I wanted you to know that when you said the other day 'I didn't want to know' about the trouble you were talking to someone else about- I did want to know. And when I found out about it a few days later from someone else it was awesome.
Not sharing the good stories is only slightly less annoying than people who act like they don't want to share them just to get attention. "Oh I shouldn't..." really means, "just ask me and I will tell." So the other day when you said "let's not talk about it," in response to someone saying they were feeling better in their second trimester you were talking about it. You were implying that your life was worse and begging for attention. Maybe we should have asked, but no one did. Because we already knew when you said "let's not talk about it." Your pregnancy must be the WORST in the world. I have a friend named Tristan who speaks only in superlatives, but it is funny. Probably because he isn't talking about being pregnant. Plus he has a good name.
In other news I am in my second trimester and I should talk about my weight since that is the MOST annoying habit IN THE WORLD. (seriously this is really annoying I hate it and I hate you if you gained less weight than I did.) According to my doctor's scale I've lost 6 pounds. I think the scale is wrong but if I keep getting on scales that are more and more off maybe I won't gain any weight this pregnancy! When some lady says "I gained 20 pounds this pregnancy and you gained 30 you don't say "let's not even talk about it." If you only gained 15 you just flat out tell them. Gained more? You just shut your mouth and hate them. The "let's not talk about it" is the equivalent to "I shouldn't..." when we are bragging about ourselves. Not to mention it bugs me when I realize that people are sympathizing more with your non direct complaining than with me. Next time someone asks me how I am doing being pregnant I will have to answer "let's not talk about it," even though I would rate this pregnancy as much easier than last time. Please don't ask me what I mean because I really don't want to specify- I just want attention. Kind of like when you complained about how "hard" your husband's new calling is. That's right- gloating.
Thanks for your help, and you don't even want to know how many free vitamin samples I got today.


Batard Loaves

I saw some tasty bread at Giant the other day.
I bought it.
I do that with tasty bread.

I have a few questions.

Where is my nutella?
What exactly is a batard loaf? Is that misspelled?
Why did I spill my honey in the kitchen shelf?
Why hasn't anyone sent me any new Nutella?
Why are my pictures so out of focus?

In our next house we will have to make sure we have better lighting, since our camera now has no flash and all.


Car Shopping

On Saturday John and I avoided cleaning our house by going car shopping. I discovered that I never want to go car shopping again, and I am the most greedy irresponsible person alive. Rather than just showing up at a dealership and going home three hours later with a new car and a father in law who would never trust our judgment again, we decided to be "logical" about it. The first thing that we deduced was that we should not be getting a loan. There went every car I've ever dreamed of owning next. We thought about getting a bigger car since our family would be getting bigger- if I have a baby in September (probable) and then another one while John is in medical school (this would mean I would be hating my life of course) that will be three children. With Austin in the back suddenly the Outback would be very crammed. John could ride alongside the car on his bike but it was stolen a while ago.
Our budget isn't really big enough for a minivan or an SUV so I didn't have to go through the existential debate about which one I wanted. We did test drive a mini van. Danielle fits in the minivan. She also fit in the Yaris we drove though.
I hate taking a child car shopping. The only positive thing about it is when the prepubescent salesperson is getting too annoying you can just leave and blame it on the baby. They don't try to get you a better deal on the 99 Avalon they thought would be perfect for you. Danielle really wanted nummies while we were on our shopping outing and she wanted to put them on the car seats and hopefully kick the chair in front of her. Where Sahid who works at a dealership on 309 is sitting- he could have maybe helped us if I could have heard him over the screaming. We told him what we wanted to spend, which of course we say less than we want to spend, and he promptly showed us cars that were 30-100% over out budget. I like his style. and his 06 Camry with leather seats and almost no miles.
I've discovered a few things- John and I for sure want different things in a car. John is like my dad and his dad about buying cars. So practical it almost hurts my feelings. First we researched cars online for like a million days. Toyota's and Hondas get really good reliability ratings. Minivans don't retain their value as well as SUV's blah blah Toyotas are the best cars in the world except the new Camry, which has only average reliability. Also it comes in the most beautiful blue color I have ever seen and I want one.
At the end of one week of constantly looking online and one day of actual shopping I have decided I quit.
We can get a super nice couch for the amount we budgeted for a car. From Ethan Allen but not from the Floor Sample Sale nice. I think I have found the car I want in our budget.


Etsybaby Baby Shower

So Etsybaby is having a baby shower and mom's can still sign up and be part of it. you can go to and look at it. I am part of the etsybaby group and I really like them. It's also neat because Brooke Carlie and Christina could sign up and get free things from shops on Etsy. Also lots of my other friends. The rules are that you have to have a baby in the next 6 months, or have a baby that is no more than six months old. You can also adopt a baby with those same requirements. In order to SIGN UP you need to have an Etsy membership and go to this is where moms can sign up. Last time etsy had a baby shower my shop donated some items for a mom who wanted her stuff to look like robots and a baby blanket.


Food Storage Danielle Style

Some people say that food insecurity leads to food hoarding. So does that mean that food storage is an example of food insecurity or good planning? And when my daughter does her own type of food storage, should I be worried about her?
Now we all know that Danielle has inherited some raccoon genes from me. She loves shiny things and almost always picks her sparkly shoes (except on boots day- or when she picks the sandals that don't fit her yet.) Now I have discovered that she is also part squirrel. She stores food. It is always funny when Danielle asks for "cack" and if you don't answer fast enough she shows up with crackers. Now goldfish crackers are usually stored in the red shoes. Pretzles are frequently stored in the sneakers. There is almost always food in at least one pair of shoes on the rack. Like a whole bag of goldfish crackers. Or about 40 dice. Dice go in the boot, of course. Today we stopped her from putting half of her oreo cookie (John gave it to her, not me) in her shoes.
I am glad that Danielle is learning to be self-reliant. Soon she will learn to bring a chair over to the counter so she can get on top of the fridge and get her own cookie. Which she will store in her shoe for the coming famine.



Danielle has found her first all purpose word. It begins with a hard C and ends with ck. In the middle there are variations on vowels that can be interchangeable when she wants them to be. Since I want everyone to understand my daughter I just give her what she wants.
I think just about every child knows the word "Cook" which is a cookie. If they have ever so much as seen a cookie they know what every cookie ever made is and ask for it in advanced verbal skills. "Couck" can also mean cold, which is is when the wind is blowing. Now she has a good point- when the wind is blowing it is usually cold outside. It also means couch. Luckily just this week "Gaag" is doggie. What happened to the days when she could say doggie and sound convincing? I guess they left when she learned her new favorite phrase- dog poop. Danielle knows that dog poop lives in the yard. and out the window. but not in her diaper. When Danielle needs a diaper change that is "cuck," her version of yuck. (Honestly she also says poop but sometimes it is pee and she just doesn't get it- if she wants a new diaper the word is poop or cuck.) There is always something about bathroom with children.
She also knows the very important food she can get with Cack- which is a cracker. (I am exaggerating the difference between all these vowels of course.) She likes club crackers the best and if she doesn't like the crackers Austin is always there for her. At night her daddy reads her a "cook: which has a different sounding C. Then they point to parts of her face, like her nose or eyes. "Cuck" is one of her favorites- and she most of the time points to the cheek, or to the zit on my chin which is super funny.
Many people would think the word for Blankie would start with a B, but they would be wrong. "Cack" is blankie, and if she is ever in the car without one she starts yelling. The first time I heard frantic cries for "cack" I was a little bit confused. Luckily one morning she got out of bed and handed me "Cack" and then said "up...peees" which means she wants me to carry her downstairs. Danielle shares cack with gaag. She knows that when gaag is tired he needs a cack. She knows this because she likes to sleep with a cack. She rarely shares her blanket but if you are sleeping on the couch while she watches sesame street and dances she might lay her cack on your stomach. Or climb on you and step straight on some really painful nerves I didn't know I had in my leg.
Austin is in love with getting a cack. He knows he isn't allowed to touch the baby stuff and blankets unless Danielle shares them. He is the real princess in our family after all.
With the right word you can cuddle with people, read books, get fed and get your diaper changed. What more could a person want? Maybe she will learn a new way to ask for my purse.


Dear Spin Class Instructor

Dear Spin Class Instructor,

I was wondering if you could clarify some things about spin class.
I noticed the other day that I am the chubbiest person in the spin class. Do you have a special "fatties" class or is spin class only for ex-professional athletes? I suspect that many of those women are real b*^ (swear) based on the way they come every day and never talk to each other. Do you think they just have so much energy and the only way to get rid of all the stress in their life is biking so hard they want to die.
Is it normal to want to die halfway through the class? I noticed that on the schedule the class is 45 minutes long, but you refuse to end the class after 45 minutes. I don't know if you know this but some of us are too afraid of walking out early. We count on the class only being 45 minutes long, not 50 or 52, like it was Monday night.
Why are there bikes in the middle and front of the class? Is that like an exercise video spot where you have two women and one man next to the instructor, and one of the women is really old? Because those example people never show up. I personally like to sit in the back row close to the clock so I can congratulate myself on finishing every five minutes. It seems like a little bit of a waste of space to have those bikes- maybe if you are bad they make you move to the middle. I thought in a few months when I start looking more pregnant and not just thick around the middle maybe they would make me move to the middle. The token pregnant spinning lady seems fun.
So I was wondering if there is any way to get better seats. I am noticing this morning that my "sit bones" seem quite bruised. John doesn't end up with black and blue bruises- is it only women? Did I adjust my bike wrong? Am allowed to discuss bruising in my nether regions? I can't imagine what it must be like for people who just bam-ride a horse all day. Maybe this helps people lose more weight since you can't really sit down the next day. Will I eventually be able to avoid this? How can I find out if that is normal? That's just a pain you can't share.
One more thing- when you tell us to give 90 percent for five minutes, then five minutes later ask for 90 percent again- you should think about your math because we only have ten percent left. Monday you asked for about a total of 540 percent, which reality show contestants have but I don't.


A Bad Day.

On Saturday we took the whole family to Peace Valley Park. Since it was the first day that didn't have snow everywhere for a while we had lots of company. Bedford got to meet lots of fun dogs and play with a lab. Danielle was busy with her work of putting all the pebbles into the water. I captured her hard work. She often has little projects she works on. The other day she paced around the living room and talked to herself while I watched from the couch. She is pretty focused, just like she couldn't look up for a picture during her hard work.

Austin ran out one direction while Bedford ran another. Austin was in the water and Danielle was trying to get the tennis ball that was 10 feet offshore. I went after Danielle and John picked Bedford and bam- I think Austin went potty in the water. He was squatting over like poo. His bottom was in the water. Nothing was floating though. I couldn't make it there in time- how do you scoop up underwater poo's? I almost didn't want to look or I wanted to act like he wasn't my dog- he was very far away after all and it was a confirmed potty in the water. Do dogs think about these type of things when they are drinking the lake water? Does this mean Austin will learn to use the potty?

Our family has not had much luck with pets. We adopted cats. Oops it turns out I am allergic to cats. And we had to bring them back to the rescue (for those of you who haven't adopted from a rescue you sign that you will contact the rescue if you can't keep the cats). They are a great rescue, but Maya it turns out has FIP (feline infectious peritonitis) which is 100% fatal. She probably had it before we got her. That is why she wasn't gaining weight, it wasn't just a bad reaction to the medicine for ringworm. She saw the vet every week and they didn't catch it- a few days after we brought her back the rescue took her to a different vet. After exploratory surgery (and LOTS of other tests) they figured it out. The rescue updates us about it and I feel so sad for her. Simon got adopted the day after we brought him back. Never was there a better cat. He would come when you called him. Whenever I walked into the room he started purring. I am in love with cats. Too bad about the whole not being able to breathe around them. It wasn't ask bad as my mom's allergies so I didn't know what to do at first. I felt terrible but it is nice to not feel itchy and be able to sleep in my bedroom again.

Bedford the dog was also from a rescue. They brought the puppies up from the south and the mother was heartworm positive. We talked to the vet when we got him and there was a chance that Bedford had heartworm, but we wouldn't know until he was a little bit older. The vet said that when puppies get heartworms from their mother the heartworms don't fully develop. The fear was that he was bitten with a mosquito. We will find out soon if he has heartworm. The vet said it is treatable.

I am not getting any more pets. Maybe ever. And maybe no more going to the park either.


Spouse Wars

Lots of married people fight. I remember being shocked after being married a few weeks and seeing my brother and sister in law punch each other in the bottom or leg really hard then run away. Apparently nothing says love like a slug on the arm. I am not really in to the physical fights, and if your voice is even a tiny bit loud I consider it yelling, which is an offence punishable by death. Don't get me wrong though. John and I are in a war, but there are no bruises.

You could also call it a war of attrition because that is an awesome word. The war has to do with just a few areas of the house. I call them battle zones. One of them is at the foot of the stairs. It is the tie battle zone. Starting just a few short months ago when I got john this fantastic Burberry tie on clearance at Nordstrom. I noticed that John frequently hangs up his ties at the bottom of the stairs on the banisters. Now we frequently put things at the bottom of the stairs to take upstairs but the ties don't move. And I'm not moving them.

The second zone is the piano. Now the actual zone used to be the couch in and the coffee table but I have decided to move the zone. Whenever I see any of John's school stuff on the coffee table or floor I move it to the piano. Like the momentum of putting it on the piano will get it put away. Oh wait- I forgot a book about applied sas programming- more things. I try to fill up the whole piano without mentioning anything. In the photo you will see a custom designed deck of cards that says "Love" on it. That's what I am showing here. Love. The true measure of how much your spouse loves that present you got them is if it gets put away in a logical place or if it just lives on the kitchen table where they got it for the rest of its life. My favorite war zone is the kitchen. John does the dishes which I think is awesome because everyone in the world hates doing dishes and I fall in that category. But he doesn't like putting the dirty dishes in the sink, he puts them on the counter. At this war zone I put all the dishes I can find not only on the counter but the entire house in the sink. Hopefully there are some oversized items so I can have the level of the dishes be higher than the faucet. I wait to see if I get any comments. Sometimes I pout about it, or act shocked that I can't find any knives when they are all dirty. I know because I used all of them the second they were clean in a chopping frenzy. Nothing makes you want to make dirty dishes like an empty sink.

So I sit and wait. Because someday the ties will disappear and the dishes won't be on the counter. Someday Danielle won't be able to eat his homework on the coffee table. Or I will have to start stage 2- hiding. John has enough shoes that this part of the war could take weeks before it comes to a head.

It's all part of my plan to drive John insane.

And that is what true love is all about.


Dear Friend

Dear friend,
Thanks so much for your help rearing my child. I don't know where I would be without you. Probably my baby still wouldn't be walking, because parents have anything to do with that. I know there are lots of different things you can teach a child. Maybe you could have taught her that John's name isn't Mama. Actually you could teach her that Mama is a name and not a command to look at her. Or you could teach her that "butt" and "bed" don't sound all that similar. Instead you taught her the fun of slapping her daddy on both sides of the face. One of those just walking by and show the toddler once learning events. Like the words other kids say that she learns after hearing them once, rather than after all the practice.
You will be happy to hear about her progress. Danielle still knows the slap people on the face trick. She loves it. Just the other day she climbed into my lap while I was watching the very important show the Bachelor and slapped me. What fun we had when it didn't work and she just punched my face.
Danielle practices her new skill now whenever I'm trying to do anything other than look at her. Sometimes I forget how important practice is and think she is trying to cuddle with me. At least we know she can stick with something when she is learning it.
If you have any more ideas feel free to just do them. Maybe you could give her some candy every time you see her. Or you could show her how to turn the light off in the foyer at church that is clearly accessible if she would climb from the chair to the display table. I will leave the parenting up to you.


Etsy Baby

Etsy has groups that you can join. The idea is that you support each other and some of them have a cause. I am a member of Etsy for Charity, which has it's own shop. Members donate items to the team shop and each month all the profits go to a different charity. I like it and I enter their contests frequently.

Just a little while ago I finally joined Team etsybaby! They are probably the most active team on Etsy- every day they have different promotions. Right now they are doing a contest which I think is a huge deal. I didn't actually enter but you should check it out and vote. I like this bunny rabbit ball. I also like that her shop doesn't sell the same things as my shop.



My friend had a great post about fundraisers on her blog. It is full of lies though. She claims that fundraisers aren't fantastic. I can't understand it- I thought we were friends. Here she is, attacking the sacred fundraiser on her super popular blog.
Seriously. I would love for some kid to show up at my house with his (or her) box of world's finest chocolate and charge me three dollars for a box of mint meltaways. Home delivery man.
When I was in middle school we had lots of band fund raisers. I single handedly won the chocolate challenge. Why do I say "single handedly" which my spell checker is getting so mad about?- easy. Because I ate all the chocolate. More than two cases worth I think. And I sold the most chocolate in my school. I don't know if I sold any to my neighbors either.
I think back on those times and wish I still had a metabolism that would let me eat a case of chocolate without gaining ten pounds. Also I have wondered for years where the fundraising children had gone. No one came to our house with magazine sign up sheets. No one came with chocolate. No one even came with wrapping paper, which I don't actually like but the point is no one came. I was broken hearted.
Then this year like a miracle occured. One of my friends had a child in girl scouts. I bought a few boxes from her. And from the other lady in the ward who asked me if I wanted some. And I heard someone else was selling them and bought a few from her. When I was asked to bring a dessert for enrichment I proudly displayed my thin mints on a tray. They were very popular because Girl Scout Cookies are the best. John and I just finished out last pizza from the pizza sale. Still no magazines, but I've heard the kids don't make much money from that.
Now some fund raisers are not that great, like the one my friend's daughter was doing with a hamburger press and little teddy bear. They remind me of the type of crafts you can do at a craft fair- something that will eventually end up in an ornament box for the "ugly/family" tree or in the trash.
But hey, I like my oven bake Churros, and I didn't have to go to the store to get them.


My little Alien.

Well since I am sick of not writing about my cravings and sicknesses I thought I should tell everyone I am having a baby in september. I am due on my mom's birthday. About 2 months into John's first semester of Medical school. So if anyone wants to spend sunny October in Scranton watching a little girl named Danielle and TBA Madsen child they are welcome to come visit us. I am not excited to move into a ward while 7 months pregnant.
I noticed that many people have a floating embryo on their blog, so I wanted one too. Isn't that reason enough to get pregnant? I considered just posting one on my blog for the joy of the floating alien but after a few pregnancy tests I realized you could track the alien that is giving me heartburn this very minute. We don't know if it is a girl or a boy yet so we can just call it "alien". I would say Alien peanut because that's what all the ultrasounds of babies seem to look like but more realistically it is probably still an alien cashew.
I remember once Jen's downstairs neighbors (of the cloth diapers) had made a chalk drawing of their "embryo" on the wall next to their door. This new version of chalk drawings was quite intriguing. Who draws an embryo on their wall? And an 8 week old one at that? Although it was disturbing at the time, I am embracing this baby ticker html. Could there be a classier way to announce that I'm pregnant? I don't think so.


Your Worldly Representative

My friend is doing a giveaway on her blog. Her famous blog. You should look at it. She was nominated as one of the best parenting blogs and you should vote for her- HERE -it is the meanest mom. Maybe the votes of the five people who read my blog will help her.
Also if you want to win some things from my shop you should enter her contest.
Actually this blog post is sort of about her. Like how she told me she likes that I am worldly. I thought about this and smiled a little. Some people tell you they think you are rich because of how you spend money (so I make a lot of entries about expensive shoes I want- big deal) and other people just make you feel nice for wearing fancy high heeled shoes to help you feel pretty. I like to save up money from my shop and save it for Danielle in the bank. That is actually Danielle's savings program right now. But I also like to save up money and buy myself nice sunglasses or buy my mom an ipod as a gift.
I like to work to enjoy the worldly things. One of my favorite people at church was loving a lesson where they were talking about how no one comes to your house and looks at the things you buy so other people will look at them. But I do. I get jealous. I really like how Becky Despain has these cute vinyl labels on her storage jars. They are way cuter than what I can make with my label maker. I used to think the label maker was the best thing in the world but what if those Christmas stocking stuffer bins could be labeled with a personalized cute font Vinyl. Oh Becky, you have helped me want to spend more money. Anyway the friend said it is bad to spend money frivolously. I don't think I've really ever had enough money to spend it unrighteously, but her simple statement made me feel a little guilty. And she had fantastic shoes on. So maybe I am worldly. At least I don't dress up in a tent and wear my first band shoes from the seventh grade. I'm just saying.



Well yesterday morning I opened the door and a few inches of snow fell in the door. There is something about a snowstorm that is beautiful and fun.
I hate it. I hate snow. I have short legs so my pants are always wet in the snow. Unless you wear cut off pants, which can get cold when it is windy. Then there is the matter of shoes- no one has time to put on winter boots while taking out a dog. and my house slippers just got wet.
Welcome to storms on the east coast- 50 degrees one day and then- a foot of snow. At least it isn't covered in an inch of ice.
So of course the dog had urgent potty issues all morning. In theory he should be able to hold it more than 30 minutes. I forgot the joy of having a puppy. They like to bite things. They have tons of energy. If you try to get close to them they jump up and lick you in the eye. They can't sit. Or stay. Or lay down. Or stop trying to eat the guitar hero guitar. You take them out and 5 minutes later they pee themselves in the kennel. I forgot only sleeping a few hours a night because you don't want to clean up dog poo. Maybe I forgot because compared to a baby a puppy is a nice vacation. and two months later you get to sleep again. And you don't realize a year later that the poo's are so stinky and they won't learn to be potty trained for a while.
Now if that doesn't give you baby fever, I don't know what will.
Danielle screamed for "Mama" all morning, even when I was there.

Annoying contest.
Bedford 0 Danielle-1
This morning we are really trying out how long Bedford can hold it. My hair is wet and there is nothing worse than the feeling of a super cold blast of wind in your wet hair.


Dear Disney

Dear Disneyworld,

Today Danielle was missing again. After 30 seconds of frantic searching she was found in the bathroom munching on some crackers she got off of the kitchen counter. She always goes really quiet with something yummy like the bag of Cadbury mini egg she found on the bed in the sewing room the other day (how did those get there?). You may wonder why this is relevant? It's not. But I feel I owe you an apology about something else.
I am sorry my daughter kept running up to other tables and cutting at the character breakfast. Especially the incident where I looked down to ask if she wanted any mickey shaped waffles (which P.S. were not very good) and she had disappeared, trying to climb into Someone's lap. I am also sorry she kept shoving piglet's head. It was funny except I bet it wasn't so funny for him. Or her.
Is Piglet stable? I mean the person in the costume, of course. Do you think he will want revenge? Because really anyone dressed as an adult sized stuffed animal could just waltz right up to Danielle. She would happy go home with Tigger, or piglet. So I was just wondering if I have to be on the lookout.
I know there is no excuse for poking people in the head. One of our friends taught her to slap us on the cheeks the other day which has evolved into her punching me on both sides of the face for attention. Knowing that might make piglet feel worse though. But he/she should know that it is OK to poke stuffed animals. At least we tell her that. Danielle doesn't know that the large stuffed creatures walking around are actually costumes.
Thank you for your time,
super observant mother