Modified Thanksgiving Menu

Since everyone in my family is now sick I have decided to revise my Thanksgiving menu.

For Me: Peppermint Popcorn I made with Claire. Lots of it.

For Everyone:
Saltine Crackers
Applesauce
Pedialyte Popsicles
Pedialyte
Toast
Bananas

Last time Danielle had to flu she got REALLY dehydrated. I've also never dealt with a breastfeeding baby who has the flu- I was doing really good trying to wean him and he isn't keeping much of anything down so should I keep trying to wean and throw more saltines at him? Because this baby DOES NOT CARE for saltines. I read this article about how you should continue breastfeeding so the push to wean is going to get moved back again. Do you ever feel like life looks at your well made plans and laughs at you? It took me such a long time to come to the decision to wean Mark and I've been so wishy washy about it. How. When. Where- these questions are much less solid than it was to decide to breastfeed. I had to work so hard to be able to do it I never thought about how it would end. Although just like with breastfeeding I appreciate the crap loads of unsolicited advice I've received. he he- and the solicited advice. why is it that the people who are the most opinionated and pushy are the one's you don't actually ask?
Overall I think Mark has moved backwards in terms of weaning- from 4 times a day back to I don't know how many but I know I've done three loads of throw up laundry today. John has also done some, before he joined the sickies.
My kids are so sick and sad. Danielle wanted me to hold her but at one point she smelled too bad so she got to take a bath first. Danielle learned to swish water around her mouth to get the bad taste out. she wanted to go to bed tonight. She also made it to the bathroom several times to throw up and I'm really proud of her. Mark has had several baths.

Oh well- it gives me more time to make the rainbow jello Danielle wanted, and explains why I felt so sick all week. Sometimes when you think you could be accidentally pregnant it is really the flu. Other times just your standard monthly crazy paranoia.

Still good to keep lots of pregnancy tests on hand. and Saltine crackers.

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Sunday Thoughts

Well this week I took baby Mark home from church early. He always freaks out a little. I am torn between feeling like I should go to church no matter what and feeling sad for my baby. People that are super active at church always say you just go and walk the halls and it is practice because you aren't getting anything religious out of it. Sometimes I would rather just let him sleep in his bed and not deal with a screaming overtired baby that won't eat and won't fall asleep.
Although I am always proud of myself when I go. I think going to church is the right thing to do and it is always a struggle for me so I get confused. Church is complicated. Mark always seems so overwhelmed.

Which brings me to the perfect mom for the week. Brooke has informed me that I don't have to quit the series- which brings me joy. I am building what I would look like if I was a perfect mom. The perfect mom breastfeeds. Carlie and I had a perfect mom moment when we both breastfed at the Jewish Deli in Scranton. Went off without a hitch. We used nursing covers. I felt like Superwoman.
Sorry people, it is true. The perfect mom is a breastfeeding mom. A while ago people thought formula was better and then really wealthy parents were ending up with babies that didn't do as well because they could afford formula. Then the La Leche League formed to help support women and educate them about how much better it is for babies. I feel like now my generation is experiencing another backlash from extreme attitudes about nursing. I guess some don't capture the vision of the nurse in. I didn't know this but my sister told me nursing wasn't protected everywhere. I don't know if the breastfeeding promotion act passed. I do know that feeding babies is a super hard topic. I went to a La Leche League meeting after I had Danielle with my sister in law. The women seemed really closed minded and I remember Kathryn saying it isn't always realistic to feed in the first hour- some women have premature babies or have children go to the NICU and they are given bottles. I guess the women who have had problems like that don't end up at these meetings because no one knew anything about it. It is tragic that there is so little information about how to succeed when you have difficult situations.
This week was a bit of a breastfeeding disaster. Mark is teething so he was trying to bite me. Also no more eating in any room but his bedroom. with no overhead light. and no noise. and lots of attention and positive affirmation. no yelling for him biting me (hi have you ever been bitten while nursing- how do you not at least shout a little when the little teeth draw blood?)
I couldn't quit. My only official ex friend quit over a bite. Did that seriously influence my decision? Shameful.
I don't know how I feel about the perfect mom just nursing in public- my baby won't do it. Too overwhelming. So we have to sit in the car or the bathroom if he is hungry. Also he hates nursing covers.
And I thought I got to have opinions.
If you search for breastfeeding in Twitter people complain about mother's breastfeeding in Burger King and some moms ask questions and are proud to be an uncovered breastfeeding mom. So polarized! Seriously though the next day I searched for it when I actually had a question someone was flooding the feed with what looked like porn links. boo on twitter- obviously not the place to go to find advice I am new and still learning how to search.

Breastfeeding makes so many mother's feel guilty I can understand the guilt- you are letting someone close to your privates and if it doesn't go well it is hard not to take it personally. The first time I tried to feed Mark rice cereal he seemed to like it and I felt a little betrayed- after the blood and infection how could he like that bland crap? Oh sometimes I feel the crazy overprotective parent welling up. He now eats one meat a day. He doesn't like pears. I am going to start making my own baby food but that is a different perfect mom post.

Our society is lacking really good breastfeeding support. A middle ground that takes in that breastfeeding involves two human beings. I liked a blog post from the rambling renovators about breastfeeding. People don't always realize how important it is to support each other. I've read a lot about breastfeeding and been to lots of lactation consultants. Some are good, some are not. There is a woman out there called the breast whisperer. Maybe if I had met with her I would have been able to breastfeed Danielle. I am desperate to succeed as a breastfeeding mom. My friend Jen asked me why.

Well Jen- the perfect mom would do it.

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