I watched it happen. I thought about stopping it and telling her it wasn't a good idea. I made her sit on the new chair so I could take a picture. Then I made her get off the chair. I was going to save a few of them. Instead I reminded her to throw away the wrappers.
Wrappers that I threw away a few hours later.

It was totally worth a dollar.



I probably give my daughter too much freedom. For example she once again has been wearing the bug pants for several days. I ask her if she wants to wear her pretty pink sleeper and she says "no sanks". This is also the response I get when I ask her if she wants to go to bed. Danielle gets to pick her own clothes. She gets to select what to eat for dinner. Once she chose to go home from church. Danielle frequently decides to feed the dog junk food. She is very fast. For example just the other day I went upstairs to feed the baby and Danielle opened a bag of candy bars. Austin was really appreciative that Danielle didn't like them but I was a little sad to lose all my butterfingers. Despite all my attempts I haven't been able to replicate the consumption of a bag of candy in ten minutes. I wish I could say it is infrequent that Danielle gets food she shouldn't- but this is one of her recurring toddler victories. I can blame sleep deprivation I hope.

I am a little bitter right now about being sick and never sleeping. I know that eventually the baby will sleep for more than three hours at a time but it doesn't seem like the endless wakefullness will ever end. Mark can't really sleep with his baby cold.
Well I think I finally have pink eye and the cold everyone else has had for a while. Danielle is done with the medicine and Mark is halfway through. Also Danielle has an ear infection. Every sickness Danielle gets can aparently be solved with the use of a bandaid. from stomacheache to pink eye, many bandaids are used. I just hand them to her and let her figure it out. Usually if they ever make their target they are finished with their miraculous healing in ten minutes when she decides to remove them and attach them to the carpet.
Tonight Danielle was being super cute and we played in the garage all night- she was making a "puzzle" out of the rock climbing holds. I forgot that she can play with those things for hours on end. I know what we will be doing all morning tomorrow.


Parenting Wisdom: A Therapy Course with Janae

I am always offering people the John and Janae therapy program where we help troubled couples. Our therapy is based on a basic premise that feelings are bad. Once you both recognize them you can commiserate together and try to get rid of all those pesky bad ones.

Now we are also offering the John and Janae parenting therapy program. It is worth giving up precious sleep for- and money of course.

Here is a little sampling of things we like to talk about.
1. People tell you never to sleep in your bed with your baby. The le Leche League promotes co-sleeping. In reality so little sleeping actually occurs that it really doesn't matter where you are. your baby won't sleep in their crib or your bed, so get over it.
2. Some people think that supplementing with a bottle is the right answer so you can get sleep. These people have clearly never been lactating and felt the wrath of engorgement. I recently read a book called The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers that claims that engorgement doesn't really happen. Pretty much everything you hear about breastfeeding and other types of feeding is a lie. And everyone you talk to is probably more than a little crazy and delusional from lack of sleep.
3. No matter how hard your baby is, your sister's baby is/was/will be harder. This can be both a blessing and a curse, depending on how you look at it.
4. Any time you add another person in your family you will add stress. You only have so much time in the day- so try to figure out how you will get the most sleep out of it.
5. I read in one of these books that your baby won't care about if you shower. That is disgusting- you should care about if you shower.
6. One of the best things that ever happened to motherhood? Epidurals. Second best? Antidepressants.
7. Buying things to make you feel better only lasts as long as your credit limit-or your generous friends.
8. Once you have kids you realize that pets are never like children. It's annoying when people talk about pets like children. We can complain about these horrendous people in therapy. No dog ever took over a year to learn how to walk.
9. When people comment on how cute and quiet your baby is just stop talking to them and walk away. Don't try to correct them or start crying- it's embarassing.
10. Nicely dressed children are always seen as better than other children. Even an alien headed baby looks cute in Burberry. People who tell you it doesn't matter what children wear? their children are probably dirty- and you probably think they are ill behaved. There is really nothing wrong with a well dressed baby. Suck it up and get the baby a fancy dress people.

the cost is 50 dollars a session, which can be booked over the phone.
It will blow your mind forever.



I found a perfect clock for the nursery. It is from Anthropologie, which I love.
Now where can I find the money to buy it?


Mark is one Month Old

Well Mark the baby was one month old on Sunday. I thought he was going to be one month old on Monday which probably shows how he is at that point when I am imagining things from lack of sleep. Just a few more weeks and he will start sleeping through the night. (I think it was like that- I know that crazy awakes ends sometime soon...) I have had lots of help and I feel less tired than I remember feeling with Danielle. I liked the troubled look he has on his face a lot of the time. Baby Mark is a great addition to our family and I love cuddling him.
So I really like reading this blog called Rambling Renovators about home improvement. The woman who writes it has such a cute nursery and she lives in Canada. Her blog gave away an iTouch and I won. I can't believe I won. Last year I won Christmas cards from a blog giveaway. I was so excited I almost sent them out. Instead they have joined my ever growing stack of cards that I haven't sent out. Speaking of which we have birth announcements. Send me your address and I will guarantee you one. You just might get it several years late...
Maybe also tell me if you got our last easter card.


Sad Girl

Danielle woke up freaking out because her eyes wouldn't open. We cleaned out her eyes and gave her medicine and an ice cream cone. I'm glad we decided to call the doctor and ask for medicine last night, because Danielle was so sad. She asked for a picture of her ice cream cone. Of course this is ten minutes after Mark finally fell asleep. Danielle has decided to stay up so hopefully her eyes won't puss shut again today.
I love medicine and a good doctor that will let us call her anytime.
and my left eye is really itching. Probably sympathy itching.


Sunday Thoughts

1. No church again this week- why? My son is really too young. Plus, Danielle has Pink eye. that's right, pink eye.
2. Mark doesn't throw up as much as Danielle. I never realized how easy a baby is when they don't have reflux or food intolerance.
3. Oh wait, they still aren't easy.
4. I think most people that don't have kids and see Mark think babies are easy. I probably seem heartless when I don't want to play with Danielle at all when we visit people. I'm happy for them to play with Danielle- it isn't so much that I don't want to play with her- it is the cumulative effort of children. After over 8 hours of constant talking I am ready for Danielle to talk to someone else, and after days and days of mark sleeping 2-3 hours at a time I am ready to sleep a little longer.
5. I thought mark slept six hours the other day- turns out John woke up and fed the baby after I pumped.
6. I still struggle feeling like a breastfeeding failure. Who are these women who write the books about how beautiful it is and don't have any problems? For the first week I would describe it as bloody. then I started pumping and feeding him bottles and now I am trying to nurse him again. Maybe I love having pain. I came up with a new rule though- having a baby should not involve all of your private parts being wounded. If they are, it is OK to give yourself a break.
7. I think Danielle having bruised jaws probably did influence her nursing. So many things about that delivery were traumatizing.
8. I never want to blog about nursing even though I am OBSESSED with it- really it takes up a lot of my time though and I think about it all the time so why shouldn't I?
9. there are very few people who are neutral about breastfeeding. I feel like you are either happy not to or proud to. I don't think I belong happily in either group, since I am not good at it even though I make enough milk. I try to talk about it too much and some people are uncomfortable with the topic. I should stop trying to talk about it. But I don't.
10. In the end- no one cares as much as I do.
11. Danielle's eyes are pussing. Disgusting.
12. Sometimes I am relieved if Danielle wakes up in the middle of the night when Mark does, because then she sleeps a tiny bit longer and she is quite nice in the middle of the night.
13. I remember that Danielle eventually started sleeping longer.
14. I hope I have enough energy to overcome my selfishness and my cold so John can study for his test on friday.
15. I also hope I don't get pink eye.
16. I just caught Mark sleeping with his eyes partially open. He is still cute. and asleep- so I should go lay down too.



Well I have decided it is time to join the countless ranks of parents who don't claim to have a college baby. Danielle went to bed at seven o'clock on Thursday. Why put her to bed so early? Because I can... Mark and Danielle have teamed up their not insignificant child might to make sure John and I never get to sleep. What happened to Danielle going to bed at midnight and sleeping until noon? This morning I was up at six with baby Mark and heard Danielle playing in her room. She doesn't come out of her room until around eight in the morning so she still has some sense of decency.
Mark on the other hand likes to stay up all night. I was a little premature in claiming that he was the only non-sick member of our family. Now he has his first baby cold. He likes to cuddle even more.
It is cold here- this morning the snow started to melt and I took a picture of our wonderful trees. Trees which I loved when we looked at the house. For around two thousand dollars we will be able to take off all the dead parts of the tree and avoid having any more massive branches fall off these beautiful trees on our house.

It is terrifying to have large pieces of tree fall on your house, in case you were wondering. the whole thing makes me want to buy myself a new pair of shoes.

Maybe I need two, one inspired by each child.


Dancing with the Stars

I like watching dancing with the stars. I like how Bruno is crazy. I don't like the new pro. Twice now her partner has done basically nothing. Bad job Anna. can Michael Irvin get a new partner? How about Edyta? She is fun to watch with her leg warmer fetish.
I really wish they could trade her out. It is funny to want a star to lose just so the pro is gone.
Yesterday they featured a segment about the stars and pros fighting essentially. Of course Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo were included- they seem to genuinely dislike each other. Actually this season seems full of stars and dancers that don't get along- how much did I enjoy Mark telling Melissa Joan Hart that she has no power? A lot. Like saying she was floppy. and Aaron Carter watching your neck bob gives me a headache.
Danielle likes dancing to the show. It is super cute.


Sunday Thoughts

I like the tradition of thinking about religion every Sunday. Unfortunately Sunday seems to be my least religious day. So I like to blog about it for good measure.
I wanted to go to church today. But only so I could get someone to watch Danielle some time this week. Is that wrong? Since Mark is only three weeks old and church is festering with diseased children I decided not to go. That and the fact that I woke up with crazy itching all over and had to take Benadryl. Actually we didn't have any so John went to the store and bought some. On the sabbath. And John has a cold. And Danielle sneezed a great snot filled sneeze as I was helping her pick out a dress. I don't want to add to the number of church going people who bring their sick children.
Why do people always have sick children at church? Does it matter if I keep our new baby home from church if I have a germ ridden toddler?
To top it off we went to John's opening Ball for medical school and brought Mark. We had energy for that free dinner but not for worship I guess. Mark slept the whole time so people liked him and I was very under dressed. Some people were wearing tuxedos and I wore my Japanese weekend jersey wraparound shirt and a Jjill skirt. I had a baby three weeks ago and I don't have fancy clothes- or fancy clothes that fit right now and work for nursing. My outfit was all black and I did my hair and makeup so you know the event was important. Luckily Mark had a cute blanket. I also realized that while many women had fancy clothes many also had very slutty fancy clothes. My Jersey skirt and shirt looked great, thanks largely to spanx. Having a baby is like having a cloak of invisibility though, so I volunteered to carry Mark around.
He got announced and people stood up to clap for the first Medical School baby. I was insanely happy.

I'm glad I went. Even though we all have colds now (except baby Mark).
Also glad I didn't go to church.



Mark likes to make a grunting noise a lot of the time. Like when I think he is waking up so I go in the nursery to check- he is sleeping but grunting a ton. I like to think of him as a grumpy old man. Also he had no hair on the top of his head when he was born but he had hair on the sides- now the sides are getting longer and I thought about trimming them to match the top a little. Baby Mullets are just not cute. Today I got to take pictures of some of my favorite baby faces that Mark makes. He is such a grouchy old man. Today he faked being asleep for several hours and then screamed as soon as I put him down- does anyone else know what it is like to have a super demanding cuddle baby?
Maybe his head was bald from grinding his head into my pelvis. That would explain A LOT about how I felt my third trimester....


I love sleep.

Babies are wonderful things. I wonder if they make a sleeping version. I would like that version next time please.

It's so different with my second baby. Last night I was about to make a blog post about how much easier Mark is and how he sleeps. It was rough with Danielle throwing up all the time and crying because she was in pain. Of course today Mark threw up and cried a lot of the day- so I guess it's good that I didn't speak too soon.
I think he just wanted to remind me what it was like to be tired after my great mother in law left. She helped with the baby and I was starting to feel normal again. I miss her. I wish we lived closer to family. Moving to a brand new area right before the baby was born has been a little scary. Since babies should be accompanied by a sleepless haze that makes you want to cry with joy when they finally start sleeping Mark stayed up almost all day (including the night portion of the day).
I found a cute picture of Danielle and Mark. It's probably two weeks old. I had to use the restroom and left Mark on the couch. When I heard Danielle talking to him I was scared at first. I guess she just thought he needed to look at her stickers. She likes showing him things. Her adjustment to having a sibling has been easier than moving- when we first got here we would all go to sleep then at some point in the night I would wake up with a Danielle foot in my face. How did she always end up in our bed without us noticing? Both of my children seem to be on a sleep strike lately.
I finally posted some prints in my designs shop. Now I just have to ship some orders (hooray!) tomorrow morning. If the children want to cooperate that is.


Safety First

Grip ‘n Twist
Door Knob Covers

1. Separate halves by disengaging
2. Reassemble halves around door
knob making sure all 4 snaps are
securely fastened.
3. To open door, grip door knob
through holes in door knob cover
and turn knob.
To Clean: Wipe with damp cloth
and dry.
NOTE: Door knob cover should spin
freely on door knob after assembly.

CAUTION: This product is only a
deterrent. It is not a substitute for
proper adult supervision. Discontinue
use when child becomes old enough
to defeat it.

Stupid caution gets you every time...
Less than two weeks. That's all I have to say.



Well today Danielle dumped her whole bowl of cereal with milk on her dress. I guess she didn't like wearing that dress. I also discovered that the graco swing we bought for Danielle really is the best purchase I've ever made. We got it after we burned out the motor of 3 different Fisher Price swings. - They were the plug in kind. This one is a black toile so it is OK for a boy- and it has a lift off bouncer. Danielle pretty much lived in the swing- she loved the most powerful setting and it was one of the only ways she would sleep. People have all these ideas about the right way for babies to sleep but when you haven't slept for two weeks you could care less what they say and will do anything that gets your baby to sleep. Danielle needed a swing- Mark doesn't really care for it. Pretty much he just wants to be held- and he fakes being asleep. He cuddles up and the second you put him down the eyes fly open and you realize he was just being cuddly. Since my last baby wasn't cuddly it is an adjustment. Today I discovered that while he doesn't like the swing he does like the bouncy chair. He sat in it for 30 minutes today when he was awake- which is pretty much a record for him.

I don't know how people have two children- Danielle is awake all day and Mark is awake all night. Although last night Danielle was also up for a few hours. Why did she decide as soon as we moved to stop sleeping? After he was up and awake for so many hours I just gave up and the three of us went downstairs and watched Yo Gabba Gabba.

Just a few weeks ago five days before I had Mark we decided to go hiking. We looked up a hike and drove there- it was just ten minutes away. Unfortunately after 20 minutes of searching through endless parking lots next to the park we found the trailhead. What are people hunting right now- and why didn't I remember that everywhere is Pennsylvania is full of hunters and NO hikers? I will figure it out eventually I guess.
Danielle fell asleep in protest.