Sunday Thoughts

1. No church again this week- why? My son is really too young. Plus, Danielle has Pink eye. that's right, pink eye.
2. Mark doesn't throw up as much as Danielle. I never realized how easy a baby is when they don't have reflux or food intolerance.
3. Oh wait, they still aren't easy.
4. I think most people that don't have kids and see Mark think babies are easy. I probably seem heartless when I don't want to play with Danielle at all when we visit people. I'm happy for them to play with Danielle- it isn't so much that I don't want to play with her- it is the cumulative effort of children. After over 8 hours of constant talking I am ready for Danielle to talk to someone else, and after days and days of mark sleeping 2-3 hours at a time I am ready to sleep a little longer.
5. I thought mark slept six hours the other day- turns out John woke up and fed the baby after I pumped.
6. I still struggle feeling like a breastfeeding failure. Who are these women who write the books about how beautiful it is and don't have any problems? For the first week I would describe it as bloody. then I started pumping and feeding him bottles and now I am trying to nurse him again. Maybe I love having pain. I came up with a new rule though- having a baby should not involve all of your private parts being wounded. If they are, it is OK to give yourself a break.
7. I think Danielle having bruised jaws probably did influence her nursing. So many things about that delivery were traumatizing.
8. I never want to blog about nursing even though I am OBSESSED with it- really it takes up a lot of my time though and I think about it all the time so why shouldn't I?
9. there are very few people who are neutral about breastfeeding. I feel like you are either happy not to or proud to. I don't think I belong happily in either group, since I am not good at it even though I make enough milk. I try to talk about it too much and some people are uncomfortable with the topic. I should stop trying to talk about it. But I don't.
10. In the end- no one cares as much as I do.
11. Danielle's eyes are pussing. Disgusting.
12. Sometimes I am relieved if Danielle wakes up in the middle of the night when Mark does, because then she sleeps a tiny bit longer and she is quite nice in the middle of the night.
13. I remember that Danielle eventually started sleeping longer.
14. I hope I have enough energy to overcome my selfishness and my cold so John can study for his test on friday.
15. I also hope I don't get pink eye.
16. I just caught Mark sleeping with his eyes partially open. He is still cute. and asleep- so I should go lay down too.