7 Years

Well yesterday was our 7 year anniversary. and I still don't feel old enough to be grown up and married.
It was a little different from every other year since we have our little baby who wants to be held all the time. We didn't go anywhere or have the most romantic night ever (remember how I had a baby five days ago?). We didn't get each other presents.  We didn't even give cards. I'm OK with it.
This year we decided not to do much for our anniversary and Christmas and keep everything low key. It's different when we're trying not to worry about things like that. I didn't have to worry about getting a better present than last year.  I put some things on my Christmas list that didn't require money- but I don't really need to get anything. I've never really been one who opposes the worldly fun of Christmas but it can wait a year.  Or several years until John is done with school and residency.

  Then last minute I thought- hey we could go out to dinner so I tried to get a babysitter.  We ended up taking a nap, which is what we truly wanted to do, while the kiddos ran around and played.  Except Andrew. For lunch we had Pizza from Wegmanns and celebrated our Family birthday.  The kids got a cute cupcake and I got a fruit tart and John got a pepsi with real sugar in it. Danielle was super thrilled when she learned it was someone's birthday, and even though it was the least impressive birthday party we've ever had she seemed to like her pet crab. Then I went to the fabric store with my mom and poor John had no idea where I went. Guess I turned off the baby monitor downstairs and he didn't get the message... Also nice that even though I fed the baby right before I left it seems like he woke up as soon as I walked out the door.  I left milk in the fridge...
Maybe not John's favorite day.
It's nice to wake up in the night and have someone there.  John was there hearing me act like a lunatic just last week and still loves me.  He said I did a good job having the baby even though I suspect I acted insane and I swore at him more than once. But that's another story.  He also let me pick the final name since I was getting confused ten minutes after we picked one.  We thought Mike and Mark weren't too close but I got a little confused.  Maybe it was the drugs I was on. But he said he didn't care and he's happy with it either way.  I was happy that he cares what I think even though I felt silly. I'm happy that John is the type of person that can deal with change.  I wish I was more like him in how he is content with himself even if things aren't according to his "plan." It amazes me.
I love being with someone and being comfortable around each other. We don't need a big production. I love how John sat up with the baby the night before our anniversary since he won't sleep unless he's held.  I love spending time together. I love that he works so hard for his family and likes our kiddos.
7 years ago we got married and I was glad to have someone who I felt like would be easy to be with. I was really attracted to how he seemed to love other people and have a sense of loyalty.  It's hard to find someone with an internal sense of how important people are. I love that we are partners in crime, trying to figure out this whole parenting thing that he seems better at than I do.

Happy Birthday to our family.

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Sunday Thoughts: father's day

Today is father's day. Or as I like to think of it- second string mother's day. Since I've decided I can't go to church today I'll never know if the dads get flowers for pens with flowers on them like we did. When I was growing up sometimes they would get candy. No moms ever got candy though. When I was younger the candy seemed cooler but now I want the flowers. I love putting flowers in my yard. I imagine some years it was like my birthday when they went to church thinking they were getting a prize from the prize jar in primary but they weren't. Mother's day was always ruining my birthday- even when it wasn't on my birthday it was ruining my at church prizes.
anyway I like my dad in all his crazy advice giving glory. I liked working at his law firm when I was growing up.
and I like my husband. He likes his kids and always spends lots of time with them. Everyone in his family seems like they are super involved parents. I think that is rare for Mormon men- it seems like culturally they practice ignorance about child rearing and don't know their children. I seem to be in the minority that doesn't worry about leaving their children with "their father." ANYWAY that's a separate post but I was always worried my husband wouldn't love our kids and I'm super glad he does. He has always helped take care of their physical needs and played with them and talked to them. He taught Danielle how to write her numbers the other day.
I'm glad he wants to take care of his family and wants to make a good living to support them financially. It's fun that Danielle wants to be a doctor someday- and a mom. We have two kiddos and they both love their dad.

I like to take pictures of John eating I guess.

Happy Father's Day!

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Good Morning

The birds seem to think it is the freaking best time of the day early in the morning.
I went to get a drink in the bathroom and the window was open.
bird cacophony.
remember when I got married and my husband had a parrot that imitated loud beeping noises in the house as well as voices? Turns out beeping and screeching at about 150 decibels is WAY fun. Also that it's normal that he started wanting to kill John and mate with me...
Anyway it's hard to sleep with all the BIRDS. I'll blame them today.

Good news for this morning-
Last Sunday John had his white coat ceremony. I'm so happy for him- his class tests are over. Now he just has to take Step One of the USMLE aka the worst and biggest test ever. I made him let me take a picture of him on that day and he made a face. My mom watched the kiddos so I actually got to see the ceremony. Turns out it's awkward to watch people put coats on other people- but I love looking at all the shoes. I never realized that I love going to events just to see what kind of shoes other people are wearing. It is mesmerizing.

so I'll be going out of town for a while so he can study. (also have you ever lived with someone studying for that? Not so much) It's time to retreat to Mark and Sara's. and My grandma's house but that's not the reason Danielle has been doing whatever I ask her to do for days.

Also good news: I'm bringing the fabric Jen got me for my birthday. We play games with Jen and Steven and they put up with our kiddos and my ridiculous impatience. Speaking of which I am SICK of not being able to get maple bars. There was one store with half rate ones up until a few months ago when they stopped having them. You never know how much you want a maple bar until you live in a place without them. Needless to say I am angry about it.

Not angry about: my precious fabric. I just want to hoard it. I have a spot where I keep the japanese Echino fabric and it's literally a little hard for me to ever use because I still want to own it afterward. For my pile. I'm taking it on vacation with me.
why do I feel awake two hours before the boy wakes up (around five) and never when he wakes up?

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Superman

One of my favorite childhood memories is playing superman with my dad. he would pick us up and spin us around- flying around the house like superman. I still remember getting to big to do it and being very sad. There is something wonderful about being superman. This does not mean I like roller coasters- I hate roller coasters.
Mark also likes to fly through the air with his daddy.

Mark is a little bit wild- he likes it when we growl at him. I am super pleased with the schedule he has had for the past week. He goes to bed around 9:00 P.M. then he wakes up between 6 and 7 and eats, then he goes right back to bed. He finally wakes up around 10:00 for the day. I guess this could have some negative implications for our church attendance but I guess I could just wake him up. HOW WONDERFUL IS IT TO HAVE A BABY SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT? After ten short months Mark got the hang of it- on the day he turned 10 months old exactly. cross your fingers for us that it is permanent.

During the kitchen remodel we realized what our next furniture purchase could be. But I want a couch that isn't sunken in on one side. In case we have never spoken you should know I want a lot of things.
I guess super glue joints don't last forever. All I can say is Thank Goodness for tablecloths because our table is hideous. The chairs are breaking, the finish is gone and there are a few gouges, beside the removable leg. But we also have children so I've heard this is the fate of all of our furniture. Don't even get me started about the coffee table that used to have finish on it or the couch that has had all sorts of unmentionable things spilled on it. I want a car with leather seats so I can wipe all the water/juice off. So add up the total amount of things I want and divide it by our bank account and you get? No furniture, thank you very much.
What I get is our carpet shampoo machine that has an upholstery attachment and the tablecloths my mom bought me a long time ago. And some screws for that leg...

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Sunday Thoughts

Just so you know there is a wrong way a correct way to mix up your hot chocolate. You might think this doesn't really matter since it is blazing hot outside. But it does. It matters so much that I am revealing to Brooke that I cheated on her with another potter. You see I bought this mug from Vegan Dish. I can't help it. It is PINK, for crying out loud! Who doesn't want a mug that says "vegan" on it and is pink. Every holiday where we are supposed to get presents I want to send one of these to Karen and TJ. TJ is actually Vegan which I wish I was cool enough to be. I started weight watchers and red meat is a lot of points so I stopped eating it and one week later started to get the mysterious bruising on my legs.
Oops. Guess I will start taking iron supplements or something. I think I actually meant to give this mug to Karen and then got a letter sent back to me from her address and just waited and kept the mug. I plan to call her and get her address again. Still really behind on birthdays this year... Just Karen and Peter and Kathryn and all their kids and TJ and several other people behind though, so no big deal. I did finally get my mother in law that birthday present yesterday. Her birthday was last month.
Anyway this weekend I took a break and ate hamburgers two days (heavenly) which I normally don't eat at all. I don't really deserve to use my vegan mug. When Erik visited he used it and I almost asked him not to but wouldn't that be rude to tell your guest that they can't use your very special mug?
Maybe I need another mug. Make that two mugs- one for Karen and one for me.

The correct way to make hot chocolate: Microwave water for 1 minute and 15 seconds.
THEN put the powder on top.
NEVER put the powder in the cup before the water- there is nothing more disgusting than this.
I like to fill my big mug up and use 1.5 chocolate packets. Today I accidentally used two.
no good.
I ate it anyway. I love the Marshmallow Lovers packets. I wait until the hot chocolate isn't scalding anymore and mix them in. I love how the marshmallows are in a separate packet so they don't just melt as soon as you put the mix in the water.

Once John made me hot chocolate and he put the powder in the bottom and there were those disgusting little packets of hot chocolate mix that weren't mixed in all the way- it is harder to get all the chocolate if it is on the bottom.
It was nice of him to make me hot chocolate though. I guess.

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What I did this weekend.

Every time John goes out of town I try to do a project. I tiled the backsplash this weekend. Then I realized the drapes didn't match so I made new ones. If you look at the picture you can see my next project: the horrible floor. We replaced the oven hood Monday.
I am so happy that I own a tile saw. I want to tile my whole house now.
and make a wall in the basement.
maybe next weekend.

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Spread The Love

One of my favorite pregnancy theories is that whatever your worst character trait is will explode in pregnancy. Let's say you are naturally not a morning person- you really should just stay home and not inflict yourselves on anyone. If you are naturally melodramatic you will get right on the crazy bus.
My sister in law Brooke accurately noticed what I already knew- I am unkind when pregnant. My first pregnancy I called my mom up every week or so and just fought with her. I would try to pick fights with people. All those unresolved feelings and issues from my entire life apparently needed to be dealt with. Except the ones that are really deeply buried, I just cried about those ones. OK maybe I should have been taking something to take the edge off of life, but I found myself having to make personal reminders not to share all the disparaging thoughts I had. Especially since there was NO WAY I could take the kind of heat that I wanted to dish out.
Turns out being very tired has a similar effect to being pregnant.
This morning John went and got the baby when I asked him to and then handed me a poopy baby in the dark. I was not pleased. I guess I wasn't polite when the light didn't instantly go on after I asked him to turn it on, so John left the room and I was left to change the diaper and feed the baby. Then I went downstairs to try to play with the baby since we are trying to switch his sleep schedule and it was officially daytime. I found where John had started to sleep. I tried to discuss if we should keep Mark up. Turns out John was sort of sleeping, but I still tried. John offered to take the baby but I didn't respond fast enough and he disappeared to sleep upstairs. Mark pooed as John walked away. All over his outfit and the changing pad and me. A lot of the time even if the baby hasn't pooed on me I feel like someone must have.
I was so angry I had to do something about it- so I constructed a clever twitter response, thanking John for his offer.
totally awesome- I'm glad I found twitter.
1.5 hours later I know it was rude, but I knew that when it happened. I guess I wanted to blame John for the baby waking up before I was ready and having a blow out all over me. And being grouchy when he wakes up and calling me out on not thanking him for getting me the baby.

When you are tired enough the whole world is just a little bit more annoying- like the kid I watched yesterday who wouldn't stop talking to me the whole time. Seriously I don't want to talk to a kid about his potty training experience for two hours. And stop telling on Danielle, because it makes me want to let her do things that I normally wouldn't since I can't abide tattle-ing.
The week before John's tests I try really hard to be nice and let him study. This attempt probably only produces a semi polite and tolerable human. I know I shouldn't say mean things about my mom being stressed at work but I do.

I call this spreading the love. I know that I don't really need to take out my feelings on people (especially my mom it turns out). It's like people who freak out when they have PMS- are those feelings less valid?
I just do my best to remember that the first time I think them and have overwhelming feelings of being wronged I need to shut up and wait. Sometimes it's just the fact that after one night of four hours of sleep and one of two I am looking forward to another night of four hours of sleep. All the gratitude and charity I've worked so hard to get seems to fly out the window.
I realize what I am made of, and at 7 in the morning today I'm not made of anything good.
Lesson of the Past
pregnancy + me sharing my feelings = not good.
John + waking John up = not good.
sleep deprivation + twitter = not good.

and it took A LOT of thought to come up with this theory. I bet other people haven't thought of it yet. or something like that.
Mark is talking and being super cute. His hands are thrilling. It's these cute things that I wait for. And Danielle waking up.

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Friday Preparations

John's birthday is Friday- what should I get him. He gave me a list yesterday. Here it is-

bday list 2010

Shirts

iPhone 3G with no contract

a better weight bar

more weights

work out clothes

more 30 rock

pajamas for winter

A smaller backpack designed to carry a laptop

Awesome movies with german voice overs

Disney movies in german

Amazon gift cards

iTunes gift cards

I found a backpack at REI. It wouldn't get here in time. I wish there was a way to skip birthdays sometimes.

Oh wait- that is what gift cards are. Awesome- at least they will get here by Friday.

Or we could trade- I could get myself a bunch of stuff for my birthday and he could do his own. Here is my birthday list.

1. Insulation in the basement

2. Echino Japanese fabric

3. Minky fabric

4. Kate spade china setting

5. A new car. Just ask Sara to pick it out. (Ok I think it is a funny tradition to put a car on every present list. Probably it isn't.)

6. A serger

7. Something from Jonathan Adler

8. Tile in the kitchen.

9. mint meltaways. Santa did NOT bring them. I guess girl scout cookies are also good. I like the peanut butter ones.

10.White frames from the Pottery Barn.

11. Amy Butler Rug

12. Fleuvog shoes.

OK I don't know why it is so hard for John- just thinking of presents makes me want things. Oh wait- maybe he actually wants these things. I never catch him just filling up a shopping cart online to feel like he has things- if they are in my cart they are a part of me.

What in the world should we do for John's birthday?

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Five Years

John and I celebrated our anniversary December 21. We have been married five years. It blows my mind that we are married. Every now and then I ask him if he can believe we are married. He says yes. I guess I am just a little slow on the uptake. Our anniversary was great because it was really relaxed and nice. Like John.
I went through and found some of my favorite photos from our wedding day. I really like the picture of us by the temple doors because we look good but not 10 years old like we look in all the other pictures. I was 23 when I got married but John was only 21. People still think he is in his teens. I loved the picture of my grandma and grandpa Berg because grandpa was so healthy. John sang me a song at our wedding and it was beautiful. We got married on winter solstice and I think it is funny to joke around about it being the darkest day of the year. There was a blizzard the day of our wedding. It was freezing. 21 other couples got married in the Salt Lake Temple that day.
My only regret? I didn't get my stuff together in time to have beautiful wedding favors at our wedding. It's like me and Christmas cards now.

marriage stats:
Pets:10
Boaz (gone with the great pregnancy parrot purge) African Grey 14 years old
Austin STILL HERE!
Taylor (allergic to pennsylvania- went crazy with allergy problems)
Mayli (see great parrot purge) African Grey 2 years old
Bedford (died at 14 weeks old- heartworm)
Simon- (I am allergic to cats) the best orange tabby ever to live
Maya- (died of autoimmune disorder) a sad sickly black cat I fell in love with. She hated me.
we also fostered Jackson and Jax and Lexi. Jax tried to kill our parrots.
We clearly don't have great luck with pets.
Children - one boy and one girl. we have better luck with children than pets.
Weddings we've seen- 6
Moves-6
College degrees- 3 (2 undergraduate 1 masters)
I learned to quilt
I have my first car ever.

Here are five things I like that John does. He only gets five this year.
5. John sometimes acts like he has a British accent. His accent is TERRIBLE. But it is really funny because he knows it is terrible and sometimes it morphs into an old man accent which he is much better at.
4. John is an optimist. I think he believes in people being good, which is increasingly rare.
3. John is a hard worker. I didn't really think about how this would become what I consider the most important characteristic to look for in a spouse. I love that I feel like we work equally hard.
2. John knows how to have fun. He reminds me that sometimes we need to go to the movies or hang out and do nothing.
1. John is good at change. He adjusts quickly which is a good thing since a lot has changed in our five years of marriage.

John is proving to be a worthy opponent. I like it.

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Family Pictures

Rachelle visited us this week- for the Holidays. It was nice to see her. I kept trying to arrange pictures for Christmas but it didn't work- my phone actually stopped working for a day and I finally gave up.
then I realized Rachelle takes pictures. I did what anyone would do- went out in the 20 degree weather and got our photo taken. Danielle didn't really cooperate but I thought I looked OK in some of the photos. and I love the picture of John and Mark.

here I am with my signature squint eye making its appearance.

you can't even tell we were freezing to death.
I love my shoes in this photo. This is the only one where you can actually see them- I guess you shouldn't base your whole outfit on shoes because it probably won't work out.
here's my cute little baby. Danielle was convinced she should take her coat off. She was cold after that so she put it back on. The whole photo session lasted about 30 minutes. I don't Danielle could have made it any longer. Then we went out to lunch.
I made Christmas cards out of the pictures. So if you want one send me your address. Unless you already did. Thanks Rachelle!

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John's Christmas List

John gave me his Christmas list so I am posting it on my blog. It says John and Janae but he refers to it as my blog so I can too. And I always lose things. If it is here I can tell people where to find it and find it myself. My list is ridiculous. Every year I like to put a car on my Christmas list. What if I really got a car one day? And if John wants to get me a car someday he will know what type I want. Each year.
I also like to put things on my list that I will never get. That way they are still part of me. They are too fancy to actually be part of me, but that's what Santa Claus is for right?

• ENO double nest hammock http://www.rei.com/product/754773
• USB Wireless Mouse (and keyboard; mouse is more important)
• Men's Lab Coat (32" long; size 40; "consultation coat)
• Blue scrubs
• TCMC hoodie (google "lackawanna college bookstore")
• Awesome Ties
  
• Crocs (no holes in them- black or brown)
• Stirling Engine kit from Thinkgeek
• Wallet
• Small colored pencils of colored markers (fine tip) set for drawing anatomy stuff
• gift card from Home Depot
• gift card from Amazon.com

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John's Baby

Danielle inherited a lot from John- and not just sneezing in the sun.

Danielle always wants to watch the my little pony show. Or any show. I think "show" was one of her first words. When she wakes up she asks for a show and it doesn't stop. Friday I also noticed her with the remote control in the menu of the on demand shows. She was watching word world at the time and had somehow managed to turn on a new word world show. If she really knows how to do that (which I doubt- it was probably just luck) she figured out the remote control faster than I did.Danielle would watch shows all day if she could. When she won't go to bed when she is sick we watch a movie and she calms down. Last night she was feeling sick and couldn't really stop crying so we went to the new star trek movie. She was pretty good and understands that if we talk to the people around us we have to leave. Also she said goodbye to the robots at the end. During scary parts she closes her eyes and holds my hand. The only danger with her and movies is that she gets so excited and wants to talk about it. We try to take her to mostly kid movies lately but any type of show is OK with Danielle. She tells us she is happy when she watches shows.John likes watching movies ANY TIME- so I have practice monitoring television and movie watching.

which brings me to a question- Why do kids want to watch the same movie over and over and over?

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