Dear Spin Class Instructor

Dear Spin Class Instructor,

I was wondering if you could clarify some things about spin class.
I noticed the other day that I am the chubbiest person in the spin class. Do you have a special "fatties" class or is spin class only for ex-professional athletes? I suspect that many of those women are real b*^ (swear) based on the way they come every day and never talk to each other. Do you think they just have so much energy and the only way to get rid of all the stress in their life is biking so hard they want to die.
Is it normal to want to die halfway through the class? I noticed that on the schedule the class is 45 minutes long, but you refuse to end the class after 45 minutes. I don't know if you know this but some of us are too afraid of walking out early. We count on the class only being 45 minutes long, not 50 or 52, like it was Monday night.
Why are there bikes in the middle and front of the class? Is that like an exercise video spot where you have two women and one man next to the instructor, and one of the women is really old? Because those example people never show up. I personally like to sit in the back row close to the clock so I can congratulate myself on finishing every five minutes. It seems like a little bit of a waste of space to have those bikes- maybe if you are bad they make you move to the middle. I thought in a few months when I start looking more pregnant and not just thick around the middle maybe they would make me move to the middle. The token pregnant spinning lady seems fun.
So I was wondering if there is any way to get better seats. I am noticing this morning that my "sit bones" seem quite bruised. John doesn't end up with black and blue bruises- is it only women? Did I adjust my bike wrong? Am allowed to discuss bruising in my nether regions? I can't imagine what it must be like for people who just bam-ride a horse all day. Maybe this helps people lose more weight since you can't really sit down the next day. Will I eventually be able to avoid this? How can I find out if that is normal? That's just a pain you can't share.
One more thing- when you tell us to give 90 percent for five minutes, then five minutes later ask for 90 percent again- you should think about your math because we only have ten percent left. Monday you asked for about a total of 540 percent, which reality show contestants have but I don't.
Janae