Sunday thoughts: sleepy style

My dresser isn't an example of design genius. You see I have an eight week old and occasionally sleep. Boy do I love sleep.
Today we went to church. I made a mental note of a few things for next week.
Bring two outfit changes for baby. One was not enough this week.
Bring a burp cloth and don't leave it in the car.
Straight iron the back of my hair not just the front, because it looks funny and blows the illusion that you are on top of things if you forget the back.
Claire left early this morning and I already miss her. John woke up at four to bring her to the airport so I went to church with the kiddos.
Miraculously, I got to listen to most of the meeting.
I'm hoping for a second miracle where I get to sleep...

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Danielle

I think Danielle might die of boredom when my sister leaves.  She loves her pink dog cutie and the puppy Penelope. She also loves cooking with Claire, and wants to wear glasses like her aunt.  Mark and Danielle put on the sunglasses when Claire put on her glasses to read stories.
I have no idea how I will ever get things done once she leaves.

She has cooked for me pretty much every meal. and bought more Panera than I would admit.
In other good news, Andrew slept six hours in a row.  For three days.
also, Claire is pretty stinking good at putting the kids to bed.
Just like I am.
She totally cleans non stop. I would be ashamed if I wasn't super happy.
I love my family, and it's nice for Danielle to see the person she got her middle name from, and to have help with baby while I sew for the etsy shop.

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Two weeks.

Two weeks. Two grandma visitors. Two holidays. Two siblings. Two sleepless parents.

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Andrew John

Our little baby boy was born December 17th at 2:21 P.M.
7lbs 14 oz. 20 inches long.
He loves to be held.

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Kids in Bed equals Happiness. and a Pregnancy Update

I've been having trouble getting Marky to bed.  so earlier this week I decided to do it earlier.
and it worked.
OK John put him to bed that day- but today he went to bed at seven.
Did I mention that is the happiest thing EVER? well it is. Sometimes I feel guilty when I am happy that I am a mom and then I look forward to bedtime so much. This guilt is quickly drowned by my bubbling up giddiness. Or anger if I find their hidden messes...

This week I made Danielle a skirt.  You might not be able to tell but it has sparkly unicorn fabric and an applique unicorn. It's nice to make her stuff, she likes it. I like her too.

This boy has decided that he doesn't like it when Danielle goes to preschool. He wants me to hold him the whole time. Or maybe he just has a cold. His nose did start spontaneously exploding today... He does like eating lunch out on the porch, which we do quite frequently.

Mark is a model for my etsy shop. He modeled the Bat shirt and likes getting his picture taken. He isn't always very good at looking at the camera but he was very upset when I was done. Maybe I should start making skirts and try to make him my girl model.  I was told he didn't look like a little old man anymore...
I'm still pregnant.  I will be for a LONG time yet. blah. being pregnant sucks- have I mentioned that?  It started to hurt to run the other day.  Then I didn't work out for a week and gained two pounds.  lovely. On the bright side I think I am done throwing up. hooray!
I usually think it's best to hide from everyone I know while I'm pregnant.  Then I get lonely and want people to visit.  The other day I got mad at someone and yelled at them a little bit for saying I don't listen.  This was a person I'm not related to.  The next day I wanted to blog about it.  Actually I wanted to blog about how ladies get together and have the "men never pay attention and are so stupid" competition where they all talk about how dumb their husbands are. I never understand this. Maybe because I didn't marry a complete douche bag like it sounds like they did. sigh...
Maybe they are exaggerating.  maybe what they are saying isn't that bad at all, but I'm just a little on edge. Good thing I followed my rules because there would be a whole lot more crazy if I didn't. Or maybe I would just have no friends at the end to help me with my kiddos.
Less than three more months... I still can't believe I'm actually pregnant. and I want yogurt with those yummy mix ins right now... Have you had those?  They are great.  So is Peanut butter cup cereal. FABULOUS.
still no name.
Names I like: Michael, Rowan (John hates Roman, which I like), Vincent, Thomas, Andrew, Jakob (too popular)
John likes: Finnegan and Jason and some other names that seem cooler than my names when people ask us what names we both like.
We go through a baby name book and mark the names we both like, then eliminate names. I like it.  Also, if you read through one of those books almost any normal sounding name sounds good. Or even semi- normal.
It's always easier to come up with the name for the gender of baby you are NOT having. always.

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Marky is Turning Two Soon, and his mom is a crazy pregnant lady.

I just realized I haven't done much crazy pregnant ranting in a few days.  In case you wonder why I never write and have dropped off the face of the planet, it is so I can avoid other people being exposed to the joy that is me in my full pregnant glory.
Just wait until I'm in my third trimester and not just 25 weeks.  Did I mention that the way I realized I was pregnant was that I lost my temper and told Danielle I quit being her mom?
yes I just pray that my kids will forgive me and other people won't notice me.  And that my mom will come visit me and let me take a nap. again.
Anyway Mark is almost two, which reminds me of being crazy and thinking about stuff I want to get for him and for the house and the new baby. This takes a lot of my time.

 The other day John said his mom wanted to know if Mark needed anything. I couldn't think of why someone would just randomly think of Mark- until I realized soon his birthday is approaching.  OK maybe that came out funny- well whatever the point is I have a good mother in law. She isn't super invasive but she's nice and a good listener.  And she plans things in advance. I know a lot of people who wouldn't ever ask and she even thought of it before Mark's own mother.  Which is surprising since we already have a few Halloween decorations up and I've purchased some Halloween candy. Maybe she wasn't thinking of Mark's birthday. I didn't ask- you can't ask stuff like that when you are just trying to listen in on a conversation in the next room over.

anyway I was unprepared- because I just always think "nothing" because he has lots of stuff.  he has lots of generous people sending him clothes. And he has a tickle me elmo that he takes with him everywhere and tries to bathe with. I feel like we are blessed to have stuff that our kiddos need.

I couldn't think of anything Mark needs, except maybe some toys to play with that aren't my little ponies or pink. Should I care if my boy has girl toys?  Now that there are going to be two boys maybe I should try to get some boy toys that someone hasn't given to me. Maybe.  It's just that when I am faced with a truck toy or a barbie I just want to go with my gut. He likes duplos and trains though, which I am totally on board with. 

The next day I realized that Mark really wants some sewing fabric for his mom.  we thought up this great idea that on your birthday you get smaller presents for the other members of your family. Actually I think someone else did it and I liked it a lot- it softens the blow a bit for the openly greedy souls of my children.  And my secretly greedy one. I couldn't really tell someone else that Mark really just wants to buy a pressure cooker for his second birthday though- they would probably just get fed up with me and Mark would ultimately be the one that suffers. I had this great plan to make a blog post of a fake birthday list of stuff for "Mark's birthday." because I think he needs THIS ottoman from Ballard Designs in the Malabar Gray Ikat fabric.  needs. Who doesn't?  I know I need it. I'm always looking for ways to hide all kid toys and as I write this i want to put my feet up on an ottoman- out kids wouldn't bang their heads on it like with a coffee table.

Then the idea of the list bored me to death and I thought it wouldn't be cool as much as annoying so I scrapped it. half way.  Well the creative cool part disappeared because I kept thinking about the question four or five days after it was asked.
Totally normal I think.

Mark loves his light up shoes, so he always needs more of those.  Size 8 or larger. The child has enormo feet.

Then today I finally realized it- Mark still has no dresser. But until I learn to build one I'm most likely not going to buy one. We spent all the extra money we didn't really have this month on preschool and now Mark is getting a card from me for his birthday. Maybe I'll put a truck on the front. I never know what to tell people when they ask what you need. The answer in my family is usually "whatever you like buying." John's family is different though- they don't just shop for the joy of it and they don't only want to shop for specific things so I'm not sure how to handle these questions.  It's just interesting to see how different families work- I'm never sure about the gift system in his family and I fear that I'm failing miserably at it.  because I told John he was in charge but I don't know if he thought I was serious and it is still something I feel guilty about. I never realized how different the present giving dynamic can be in different families. I like the presents I get from them.  but they are hard to shop for. hard. (well some of them)
Please tell me I'm not the only one going through this present adjustment still after over six years. And that I'm not the only one who starts thinking about this when someone is just making conversation with John.

Anyway Mark needs a dresser. I am getting sick of folding up Mark's clothes every day after he throws them off his bookshelf onto the floor. Not that he always the one doing the throwing.  Originally I loved the idea of a bookcase for his clothes- mainly because we already had it and I didn't want to buy one.  This idea has been destroyed by my mom.  Because she is sending us cute little things for Madsen number three. and I don't know where to put them. I cleaned out my room and basement and found one of those clear plastic drawers.  Boy Madsen's cute little guitar clothes live in that bin. 
So in a few months I will be behind two dressers- not just one. boo.  A dresser just never seems like something I want to buy.  EVER. They are not fun to pick out.  They all seem either too ugly for words or too expensive. Before Mark was born I thought about the dresser thing. We were going to get Mark Cherry stuff and give him our dresser and maybe get a new one but after about two days I realized I wanted my dresser and didn't want to buy a new one so I took it back. he never found out he was so close to getting a dresser and I don't know if he would care. I think two of those hanging sweater organizers will fit in my closet for new baby.
 I guess when I'm pregnant I feel the need for more drawers. What do you need.
I need to call one of those friends that seems to be able to get things at the Salvation Army for almost free. I'm always jealous of how good those people are at what they do. then I go and don't find anything and get frustrated and buy a stupid Tshirt I don't really like just so I can say I found something.

I cannot find the dresser I want at the Salvation Army, and I cannot bring myself to go to the pottery barn kids outlet with my kids in the car. Oh wait- or charge the dresser I would find there. Maybe someday this will bring me a sense of financial freedom and joy. My refusal to drive with my kiddos is saving me from making irresponsible financial decisions.
Eventually I will go get the cheapest dresser at ikea and get over the fact that his frames and the crib and bookcase don't match. Mark doesn't have a twin sized bed to it's not like I'm breaking up a set.
right now it just makes me want to go  on ebay and buy one of the My little Ponies from before they went all ugly.
Or better yet, go to bed.
good night blog friends.

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I think I'm actually going to have a baby...

I still can't believe I am having a baby.  Today I got an even bigger shock- I'm having a boy.
Why was I so convinced I was having a girl?  I don't know.

John has already discussed how we could still use the name Jackal and call him Jack. Boy names are way easier to pick than girl names, you know.

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Maybe

Maybe I shouldn't have told my daughter that the reason that I have metal teeth is that I didn't brush my teeth enough.  But she does always seem to remember to brush her teeth and I'm happy about that.  I wish she liked using the big kid toothpaste more than she does.  and that her hair didn't always look greasy lately.  Why does it look that way?  Sweat? her daily play in the sprinklers?  As far as I can tell the number of showers she takes a week has gone up but her hair doesn't look that great.

This week has been full of interesting things.  Like today when Danielle introduced herself to someone at a restaurant and told them they have great boobs. She said she only has small boobs but she still loves them. That was a new one.  I wonder if she will get obsessed with my boobs again when I nurse the new baby- she did with Mark. How do you explain that just because mom feeds the baby with her boobs doesn't mean you should go around talking about them all day?  We already worked on the no touching thing. I like to think that things with Mark will be different.  Danielle was born without normal boundaries.  I thought stranger anxiety was a made up thing for parents who wanted to feel special.

Mark has stranger anxiety though, which is of course a double edged sword. It's nice to feel  like your child loves you, but not as nice to carry Mark around three hours a day. Lately Mark has a death wish.  He wants to get hit by a car the most.  The other day though he wanted to do away with Danielle.  I had gone upstairs to use the restroom and Danielle decided to climb in the washer- which she does frequently.  I came back downstairs and heard Danielle yell "mom."  The problem was the voice was so far away- I looked outside and downstairs and I was starting to panic- until Mark started laughing. Danielle was shut in the washing machine.  Mark had turned it on but hadn't started it. I have to tell you that was terrifying.

Maybe it's wrong that I want to be able to go to the bathroom alone.  and shower alone.  and get dressed alone.  every day. actually for the bathroom one I would say several times a day even. It has certainly become an unreasonable and even unsafe expectation lately.  It's just not super fun to use the restroom only to come out and discover your child is on the front porch locked out of the house. OK that happened a while ago but it wasn't fun then either.

Maybe I should also consider getting those anti nausea medications.  Last week I threw up quite a bit- why is it always mostly water or my medicine?  Anyway by Saturday I realized I hadn't worked out since Wednesday because I was starting to have panic attacks.  Sedentary Lifestyle plus nausea plus anxiety does not equal success.  Also I feel like when I am pregnant I have a hard time not getting wrapped up in negatives like that.  I know- such a surprise for those of you who know and enjoy my sunny and always positive disposition. I went to spin class on Tuesday and my bottom is a little bruised.  They keep telling me I will build calluses but it's been a few weeks and it still hurts to sit down the day after I go. Of course I'm planning to go tomorrow in response. I like it.  I feel like I've worked really hard- and I'm sorry but spin class is a million times easier than running.

So I thought of things that could be worse than my pregnancy grouchiness.  Maybe a bug could come and lay eggs in my ear- or even worse belly button- and I could try to clean it out but it wouldn't work.  I thought of that just today. One of my new greatest fears I guess. I would way rather have a child with me while I go to the bathroom than have bugs crawl out of my belly button. Tomorrow we are going to the baby shower of someone who had to have surgery a few weeks before their baby was due- that would be way worse.

Now when the baby moves I will have to go check for bugs you know.
Maybe I should give up on this positive alternatives thing for a while...

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Sunburn. Facebook. = Grouchy

Did I mention I got a massive sunburn this weekend?  well I did, and I like to complain about it. Today I had blisters on my shoulders. I burned the end of a pin and popped some of them. Then some of my skin started peeling.  There is something you should know: if you never tan EVER your skin burns and then peels off- there is no pleasant "tan" look. Also, I am allergic to spray on painkiller. and I'm grateful for Benadryl. REALLY GRATEFUL.
Which really made me think of possible names for mystery child. At this point mystery child is large enough that some of the people at the gym look at me funny but not large enough for anyone to ask if I have a child in my belly.  I like the slightly quizzical looks.
Also like: mosquitoes no longer love me. Usually I get a million bug bites if I even think about stepping outside and just the other day I went to New Hampshire and got only one bug bite after being outside for over an hour.  It was also pitiful- like it landed on me and then changed it's mind. I don't know if you know this but pretty much the entire state of New Hampshire is a mosquito breeding ground- and they love poor little Danielle.
Also- the other day to me could mean any time from yesterday to a few months ago- in this case it was in may.

I don't know if anyone has noticed this, but for me pregnancy is closely associated with being quite grouchy. I went to church on Sunday and the talks were really good and I got things done- which are normally positive things- but I was just really grouchy the whole time. I've been really sick so far being pregnant so I don't like to go anywhere or talk to people but I like to feel sorry for myself that no one is showing up at my house with cookies- even though I might be mad at them if they did. Or something- just so many feelings. I am ill equipped to manage so many conflicting emotions. I'm considering taking my maternity leave early from church, since I feel like sometimes all I have in common with the moms there is that we all had babies- which really isn't that much to go on sometimes.
oh and I guess we all go to the same church.
whatever the point is I know I have crazy pregnant lady feelings so I try to avoid contact with people whenever possible. Also to avoid: the crazy facebook updates about politics.  You want to know what type of people have constant Facebook political updates? 
1.  People who don't have a real forum to declare their political feelings.
2. Right wing nut jobs.
3. Article posters.  OK I actually like some of these people- like Melissa who seems pretty interesting.
4.  My cousins.  Really cousins- stop sharing your crazy with the world.  Maybe you aren't actually crazy- because when I've talked to you in the past you haven't seemed one step away from uni-bomber.  But you do on Facebook. When that's all people hear from you it seems a little intense- like all you do all day is stew about political stuff. Although I almost clicked through to Ron Paul's website I have to admit.
5. People who feel sorry for themselves and think maybe someday the government will send them a letter admitting there really was a conspiracy to ruin their lives.
6. Politicians.  No wait- they try to post about other stuff.

My friend just had triplets.  One of them is named Regan- I like that name. John is opposed to the presidential names. I like to ask people about what they would name a child because it's usually not what I would think of.  So here are my top 5 names for boys or girls.  I find out August 5 what I am having. I know there is something in there- unless my intestines have decided to start leaping on my bladder.
Boy Names: Michael (OK it's common but I like it) Thomas, Calhan (the least common name I like so we'll never use it), Roman (the strangest name i like) and Jackson (the trendiest name that I like but I'm not sure if I really like it). Also I like the name Vincent.

Girl Names: Morgan (this will never work since it's a unisex name and I can't handle that- plus John hates it) Emmaline (John also hates), Lillian (I haven't even asked John because I know he will hate it), Sarah (but we can't use this name since it is like the male version of John in terms of being common- plus I know Sarahs and Saras and how would I decide which one to use. I've liked Enna and Violet before. Both might not work though. Naming a child is a lot of pressure- no matter what you chose they will wish you had named them Maria and other people will hate the name. Especially if it has a stupid spelling, which is not a bright parenting move.  My name is "my parent's can't read or spell so they just guessed at the hospital."

I secretly hate all girl names.  It seems so tricky to pick a name for a girl.  Why is it so hard to find girl names?  Eva and Sophie were our top two for Danielle- but she just didn't look like either of those names so we became one of the weird couples who looks through the baby name book at the hospital.
Do you think Bruce is a strange baby name? Will my baby talk like Batman if I give him that name?

Overall based on my inability to pick a name I will have a girl.
and I can start posting every hour on Facebook about how she won't get social security when she's old and it will be Obama's fault.
Because everyone was wondering if I thought that.

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Seriously.

Danielle got a beautiful hat from Rachelle and her roommate the other day. She likes wearing it around the house and asking for hat.
Baby Madsen number two likes to kick me in the bladder. One of my greatest fears is peeing my pants while pregnant and I swear this child will do it. He also likes to move around so much I give up on sleeping and make blog posts.
I like these shoes. They are available at Piper Lime. They would look beautiful with my linen skirt. why are the shoes I like always so expensive? I was looking at piper lime and found a beautiful pair of shoes- which was on sale for 500 dollars. Seriously? who buys these shoes. I guess not that many people since they are on sale. Some days I wish I was one of the people who had enough money to buy five hundred dollar shoes.
Maybe you have to be born that way.

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Madsen Baby Number 2

Today we went in for an Ultrasound. The first thing the woman did? Ask me why my doctor dared to send me in when I am only 18 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I didn't really have an answer, so I was treated to the story of her divorce and labor. Maybe she didn't hate me by the end because she got all the pictures she needed. Once again as my mother predicted-
WE ARE HAVING A BOY. Why is my mom always right about these things? John and I have come up with our top names but we would love your suggestions. Last time we had a name picked out and embroidered on things then changed it when Danielle was born, so we won't make any premature commitments. At least not with expensive embroidery.

John's top 10 Names.

1. Duff Roger Madsen
2. Phineas Roger Madsen
3. Bertie Wooster Madsen
4. Nino L. Madsen
5. Judd Roger Madsen
6. D'Artagnan Roger Madsen
7. Atticus Erik Madsen
8. Murano Erik Madsen
9. Picard Erik Madsen
10. Ishtar Erik Madsen

Janae's top 10 Names.

1. Mark Sharp Madsen
2. Paul Ethan Madsen
3. Andrew J. Madsen
4. Michael Thomas Madsen
5. Ethan Mark Madsen
6. Stephen Daniel Madsen
7. Aaron Levin Madsen
8. Hunter John Madsen (we already have a fisher in our extended family)
9. Crosby Stills Madsen (Nash is already in the family too)
10. Jakob Daniel Madsen

Now you have a taste of what talking about names is like for us.

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My little Alien.

Well since I am sick of not writing about my cravings and sicknesses I thought I should tell everyone I am having a baby in september. I am due on my mom's birthday. About 2 months into John's first semester of Medical school. So if anyone wants to spend sunny October in Scranton watching a little girl named Danielle and TBA Madsen child they are welcome to come visit us. I am not excited to move into a ward while 7 months pregnant.
I noticed that many people have a floating embryo on their blog, so I wanted one too. Isn't that reason enough to get pregnant? I considered just posting one on my blog for the joy of the floating alien but after a few pregnancy tests I realized you could track the alien that is giving me heartburn this very minute. We don't know if it is a girl or a boy yet so we can just call it "alien". I would say Alien peanut because that's what all the ultrasounds of babies seem to look like but more realistically it is probably still an alien cashew.
I remember once Jen's downstairs neighbors (of the cloth diapers) had made a chalk drawing of their "embryo" on the wall next to their door. This new version of chalk drawings was quite intriguing. Who draws an embryo on their wall? And an 8 week old one at that? Although it was disturbing at the time, I am embracing this baby ticker html. Could there be a classier way to announce that I'm pregnant? I don't think so.

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