7 Years

Well yesterday was our 7 year anniversary. and I still don't feel old enough to be grown up and married.
It was a little different from every other year since we have our little baby who wants to be held all the time. We didn't go anywhere or have the most romantic night ever (remember how I had a baby five days ago?). We didn't get each other presents.  We didn't even give cards. I'm OK with it.
This year we decided not to do much for our anniversary and Christmas and keep everything low key. It's different when we're trying not to worry about things like that. I didn't have to worry about getting a better present than last year.  I put some things on my Christmas list that didn't require money- but I don't really need to get anything. I've never really been one who opposes the worldly fun of Christmas but it can wait a year.  Or several years until John is done with school and residency.

  Then last minute I thought- hey we could go out to dinner so I tried to get a babysitter.  We ended up taking a nap, which is what we truly wanted to do, while the kiddos ran around and played.  Except Andrew. For lunch we had Pizza from Wegmanns and celebrated our Family birthday.  The kids got a cute cupcake and I got a fruit tart and John got a pepsi with real sugar in it. Danielle was super thrilled when she learned it was someone's birthday, and even though it was the least impressive birthday party we've ever had she seemed to like her pet crab. Then I went to the fabric store with my mom and poor John had no idea where I went. Guess I turned off the baby monitor downstairs and he didn't get the message... Also nice that even though I fed the baby right before I left it seems like he woke up as soon as I walked out the door.  I left milk in the fridge...
Maybe not John's favorite day.
It's nice to wake up in the night and have someone there.  John was there hearing me act like a lunatic just last week and still loves me.  He said I did a good job having the baby even though I suspect I acted insane and I swore at him more than once. But that's another story.  He also let me pick the final name since I was getting confused ten minutes after we picked one.  We thought Mike and Mark weren't too close but I got a little confused.  Maybe it was the drugs I was on. But he said he didn't care and he's happy with it either way.  I was happy that he cares what I think even though I felt silly. I'm happy that John is the type of person that can deal with change.  I wish I was more like him in how he is content with himself even if things aren't according to his "plan." It amazes me.
I love being with someone and being comfortable around each other. We don't need a big production. I love how John sat up with the baby the night before our anniversary since he won't sleep unless he's held.  I love spending time together. I love that he works so hard for his family and likes our kiddos.
7 years ago we got married and I was glad to have someone who I felt like would be easy to be with. I was really attracted to how he seemed to love other people and have a sense of loyalty.  It's hard to find someone with an internal sense of how important people are. I love that we are partners in crime, trying to figure out this whole parenting thing that he seems better at than I do.

Happy Birthday to our family.

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Good Morning

The birds seem to think it is the freaking best time of the day early in the morning.
I went to get a drink in the bathroom and the window was open.
bird cacophony.
remember when I got married and my husband had a parrot that imitated loud beeping noises in the house as well as voices? Turns out beeping and screeching at about 150 decibels is WAY fun. Also that it's normal that he started wanting to kill John and mate with me...
Anyway it's hard to sleep with all the BIRDS. I'll blame them today.

Good news for this morning-
Last Sunday John had his white coat ceremony. I'm so happy for him- his class tests are over. Now he just has to take Step One of the USMLE aka the worst and biggest test ever. I made him let me take a picture of him on that day and he made a face. My mom watched the kiddos so I actually got to see the ceremony. Turns out it's awkward to watch people put coats on other people- but I love looking at all the shoes. I never realized that I love going to events just to see what kind of shoes other people are wearing. It is mesmerizing.

so I'll be going out of town for a while so he can study. (also have you ever lived with someone studying for that? Not so much) It's time to retreat to Mark and Sara's. and My grandma's house but that's not the reason Danielle has been doing whatever I ask her to do for days.

Also good news: I'm bringing the fabric Jen got me for my birthday. We play games with Jen and Steven and they put up with our kiddos and my ridiculous impatience. Speaking of which I am SICK of not being able to get maple bars. There was one store with half rate ones up until a few months ago when they stopped having them. You never know how much you want a maple bar until you live in a place without them. Needless to say I am angry about it.

Not angry about: my precious fabric. I just want to hoard it. I have a spot where I keep the japanese Echino fabric and it's literally a little hard for me to ever use because I still want to own it afterward. For my pile. I'm taking it on vacation with me.
why do I feel awake two hours before the boy wakes up (around five) and never when he wakes up?

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Hello Good Night.

here's my adorable model Bronson

today was one of those days. And when I say that- I don't mean one of those good days.
It makes me want to eat lots of candy. And sleep. And call my mom.
OK I am just sick of fighting with a three year old about bedtime.

So here are some things that are fantastic about today:
1. I went to the gym. (OK we got kicked out after not very long because Mark wouldn't stop screaming in the childcare- but I was happy we went).
2. I am not on muscle relaxants as of today - I'm on arthritis medicine (because I've been having headaches so I'm taking anti-inflammatory drugs for my jaw which I like to clench.)
3. I got to take an awesome nap.
4. I still got over 11,000 steps even with my nap and short workout.
5. My sink has no dishes in it.
6. I bought myself a sweater. A nice one.
7. My kids give each other hugs. I could die it is so adorable.
8. I found out from my friend Nichole that I can take my broken dyson to a store and they will fix it- I guess they are guaranteed for life! Now I won't die from dog hair inhalation.
9. I made biscuits and put Nutella on them = happiness.
10. I have great friends. Nichole came to visit me yesterday and Claire let me use her baby as a model for my etsy shop. I also got to see Suzy's adorable new baby. I love babies.

I've found that whenever I am feeling really bad about life working hard on something makes me feel better. and if that doesn't work, I try to do something for someone else. I remember hearing as a child that if you are ever feeling sorry for yourself you aren't serving other people enough. So if you feel down, do something for someone else. I think it works. There is nothing more magical than work.

The Bunny Ninjas have arrived. what could be better?

So what was awesome about your day?

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Top Ten and Bottom Ten of a Tired Day

wtf card available in a pack HERE

Some days just seem off somehow. Today was one of those days. I didn't know quite what wasn't working but nothing seemed to go exactly right. I didn't even shower until 7:30. At night- not in the morning. and I needed to shower. But the whole day I had the vague sense of unease and then tried to think of positive things. For each negative thought I try to have one positive thought- is that like talking to yourself?
I don't know. But I do know that I am ready for a better day tomorrow.

Bottom 10 for the day:
1. Stupid Facebook Status Updates. Seriously this is not the best place to brag- and stop with the overshares. STOP NOW. and stop playing games- oh wait I don't care about that I don't get those updates anymore.
2. Almost running out of gas.
3. Being stuck in traffic when my gas light went on for 40 minutes.
4. Feeling like I was getting a cold.
5. Being very discouraged about Etsy. Sometimes I feel like I should quit. Like today I thought that.
6. Having a headache all night.
7. being frustrated with everything and nothing. Feeling like I couldn't talk about it because then I would be whining, and I hate whining.
8. no cupcakes.
9. secret stuff that I don't talk about on my blog.
10. Did I mention I got stuck in traffic and almost ran out of gas? well that was stressful. I guess that was the most stressful thing of the day so I didn't really need a list of 10 things.

Top 10-
1. Being able to turn off the updates for a specific facebook apps- like Farmville. It seems like a waste of time and even if I was going to start it my farm would never compare.
2. not running out of gas.
3. Getting to take a nap with the kiddos when I felt like I was getting a cold, and waking up two hours later feeling much better.
4. John doing the dishes.
5. John studying a lot so I don't feel guilty about his school.
6. Finally getting the fabric I need for a custom etsy order from a repeat customer.
7. Watching the Bachelor
8. Going to ballet with Danielle
9. Selling one thing on Etsy
10. making cookies- then eating some of those cookies.


How was your day?

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Positive Post #1 : Please Vote

John and I are not exactly having a fight because we would never fight, but we do have heated debates. What do we talk about you ask?
Just what every married couple wonders about: What exactly is the best superpower?
Once John asked me. I thought about it for a minute or two and replied-
"popping zits with my mind control."
Don't tell me you've never thought that would be cool. If I could just squeeze them out there wouldn't be any redness afterward. Those middle of the back zits- no problem. I think you could make MILLIONS as an esthetician if you could squeeze zits with mind control. I really like squeezing zits. If I even see the beginnings of one on my face I like to squeeze it until it is gone, or replaced by bleeding which I think is better than ooze.
Then of course I thought about invisibility. That would be cool. Mainly so you could steal stuff though so maybe that one isn't that great. I like the X-man who can become anyone. I remember some sci fi thing where all the shape shifters were obese in their "real" form because they didn't have to be careful what they ate. I don't remember where that idea is from.
I like fantasy books.
Shape shifting would make me happy because then I could eat more of those really tasty looking danish rings at the grocery store. You know the cherry ones- yum.
I don't know if you know this bit of trivia- but the most common superpower that men want is flying. John, like so many other men, claims that flying is the best superpower.
I support him in his feelings. I love flying.
You know what else I love, even more? Mind Control. I think it would be awesome if you could control what people thought. You could tell them what to do- like, you don't want to talk to me creepy guy- or yes you do want to give me money.
of course you can only use this superpower if you are a good guy.

Mind control is the best.

I also like Peter Petrelli's superpower on Hero's- but of course all the superpowers is the best super power. Let's just focus on one though. Danielle wants to be able to stay up as late as she wants as her superpower- and drive the car.

What is your favorite superpower? It makes me really happy when people tell me what they think.

End Positive Post 1 of 31
smiles

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Marriage Excellence: Compromise

Every great relationship is based on compromise. One of my favorite examples of compromise is from one of my sisters. She wanted to live on the east coast. He wanted to live in Utah. They compromised and they live in Idaho.
and that is what compromise is all about- if you are both miserable at least you have something in common, right?
Husband and I have compromised a lot in life. I like to think of a few examples from recent history. I really wanted a barbecue- a great big shiny one with multiple burners and a smoking rack. Do I want a gas one? Maybe. I tell John. We compromised. We spend 8 dollars on a beautiful little unit at Target. The green one was a little prettier but it was 11 dollars. The disadvantage of this table beauty? If you put the cover on the coals go out.

Our other wonderful recent compromise involved getting a new car. Last summer he was going to work in a different state all week so we decided maybe we needed two cars. I wanted a mini van or SUV. I know I can fit my family in a smaller car but sometimes I want to be able to go somewhere with my friends with children and drive. It is nice to be able to drive and not take a separate car. In my husband's family it seems like once you have three children you have "earned" a larger car. At that time I had one child and was pregnant. Clearly, I wasn't meeting the quota. But someday I would have a bigger car.
We compromised and got a Prius. He tells me that we talked about it beforehand. This is how our conversations went.
Me: I want a big car. Maybe mini-van. I hear the Honda Odyssey is Good.
Him: I want a Prius.
Me: What about an SUV?
Him: I called about a Prius.
Me: A highlander?
Him: As long as it is as new as you want and costs as much as a Prius.
Me: How did you come up with this budget number?
Him: what about an electric car?
Me: I want a leather interior.
Him: I called about test driving a Prius.
We bought that Prius. No leather interior. My car stopped working shortly after that. John fixed it himself but it still didn't work reliably almost a year later. and the AC doesn't work.
The Prius is mine now.
Now that is real marital compromise. Even though I didn't want it I am taking it.

Some of the things that help us with our excellent compromises are these: What is the cheapest? That is probably going to win so don't even worry about it.
If that cheapest option fails then you can work up to what you would really want. But first you should spend a long time trying to make that cheaper option work. For example the 8 dollar grill doesn't actually work but John plans to drill some holes in the top so it doesn't extinguish. I am thinking about buying another broiler pan since when the grill goes out we broil things in the oven. Our subaru may have a non functioning alternator but if you only drive it a short distance in the winter that's OK- or after 8 or nine months of making that work you can take it in.

THE JOHN and Janae marriage program advocates keeping a Compromise Journal- draw a line down the middle of a regular journal and put one name in each column. When you feel like you have compromised in favor of your spouse write it in the journal on their name. For example if you hate the ugly man couch your husband got you at DI when you said you wanted a couch you can write it in his column. If you wanted to save 100 dollars a month for each child and it happens you can write it in your column.
The compromise tracker can help with lots of things. Maybe you didn't realize you were making a compromise- maybe you didn't really want that kitchen table so you won't get it, thus getting a costly tally. Or maybe you will have a day of evening the scores.

I am still waiting for that day. John hasn't been keeping score so I am way ahead.
I can't be responsible for his log entries after all...

What is your favorite compromise?

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