Groceries


Today I went grocery shopping without my children. OK it was the other day- but you an imagine. I missed them so much. So I decided to nag myself for everything I saw that I wanted. I compulsively added items to the cart and then decided I wanted a different flavor. I ran from the cart to another aisle. I talked to the lobsters for a few minutes and cried when I had to leave them. I ordered every single kind of cake item.
I moved around the cereal boxes. I dumped all the granola bars on the floor. Then I picked up 4 or five varieties of fruit snacks and lots of chips. I picked up the pooping chicken in the easter candy and bought myself a stuffed animal. When I got to the aisle I hugged everyone's legs and told them if they looked funny. I got a twix and one of those bottle pop suckers. I had already eaten two jelly beans from the bag I ripped open and thrown the rest on the floor. I also had to go get the contents of my wallet from where I had thrown them down in disgust. I had hot dogs and lunchables, as well as every variety of dannonino yogurt.

not quite satisfied, I decided to cut out the middle mad entirely. I decided I didn't get the right fruit on the way home and had to go back for yellow apples and handi snacks. Then I got myself some cake with a princess plate. I put it on the table and went to watch shows. Each time there was a commercial break I got a new fork to get another bite. Then I just wiped frosting in my hair and threw the rest of the food in a pile on the floor. I dumped my cool-aid on my lovely pile then brought my nectarines to the basement. I took one bite of each of them and hid them behind a toy bin to rot. I emptied the bag of goldfish crackers in my bed then jumped on it to get them nice and crumbly.

When John came home, I blamed Austin the dog.
I think it was the yogurt all over my shirt that betrayed the truth...

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I will not quit I will not quit I will not quit. Plus it isn't even an option.


source
who doesn't want this Print? I bought it, even though i am blonde.

time it takes me to shower = ten minutes
time it takes danielle to dump all our spices on the floor in a footsteps pattern in every room= less than ten minutes.

things I learned today- while it doesn't smell as bad as other spices, cinnamon does not really vacuum up.
if my child says she wants to take her nap in my room, that means she wants to dump all the toys out after I fall asleep.
my dyson will destroy any scripture bookmark.
sometimes no amount of brownies will make it better, so why even try.
I don't know why the spice mess felt worse than the paint all over mess, but it did.

also Mark has ear infections in both ears, which explains why he hasn't been sleeping and why he has been so grouchy.

what have you been loving about parenting lately?

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Complicit



I watched it happen. I thought about stopping it and telling her it wasn't a good idea. I made her sit on the new chair so I could take a picture. Then I made her get off the chair. I was going to save a few of them. Instead I reminded her to throw away the wrappers.
Wrappers that I threw away a few hours later.

It was totally worth a dollar.

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