Greetings from the blogging world.

Well I don't update very much anymore. Mostly because really there are some things you shouldn't really
put on a blog and a lot of them have happened in my life. Basically everyone should know that getting divorced sucks and having a husband who - whatever.. whatever. but you know that doesn't suck? My kids who are still really innocent about the world and are so honest about their feelings and hopes.

Since I lived through my worst nightmare this last year I learned a few things.
1. I had no idea what life was like for a lot of people. and I'm a little ashamed that I didn't do more for others.
2. There are no take backs.
3. I think people are valuable. You should treat them that way.
4. Stuff is just stuff.
5. There is nothing that will make you crazier than not knowing if you can feed your kids.
6. I've learned who my enemies were.
7. I've learned that there are some good people in the world.
8. I've learned that sometimes when you don't want to do anything or ever get out of bed you should just make a checklist of what you think a good mom/person would do and then check off a few things every day. Someday you will actually just get out of bed because you are excited to do them... I think.
9. I've learned that my feelings heal slower than I expected.
10. I've learned how tempting deflection is.

My kiddos are so wonderful. They all share a room right now and Andrew sleeps on a mattress on the floor. All those Montessori blogs I used to love to read would be so proud of me. OK actually Danielle has been sleeping on my floor. I love the picture of the first night they were together because Andrew climbed in with Danielle and cuddled up. Then the other night Mark slept right next to Andrew and they were totally adorable.

And Mark got potty trained. so that's awesome.
and I have a job.
and I got in to school.
and I ran a half marathon.
and I love being in Utah because there are so many things to do outside with kiddos for free.

Friday

Well today was a good day. So I'm exhausted. I'm grateful for lots of things today.

I'm grateful for cuddling with the kiddos.
I'm grateful for dancing time with Mark. He loves to dance and he is good at it.
I'm grateful for people being friendly. I feel like even people I wouldn't expect to be friendly really try and I appreciate it. People can do amazing things.
I'm grateful to learn the hard way never to use your nice paintbrush with the epoxy counter top paint. Oh wait- that's not grateful that's whining.
I'm grateful to my friend Bree coming to help me clean out the bedroom to get the house ready for sale. Danielle asked her to bring some more macaroni and cheese. Not going to lie- that's some amazing mac and cheese there.
I'm grateful Andrew is such a patient baby. He's starting to teethe so he isn't sleeping quite as well but he's still just so mellow it amazes me.
I'm grateful for the internet. I swear google knows everything. every thing.
Grateful for this idea: "Oh you left a voice message? Why didn't you just tape a post it note to the door of the apartment I moved out of six years ago." nice.
Grateful that some handy tape healed my phone screen for a little while longer.
Grateful to be alive and well.

Sunday Thoughts

Ten Thoughts for this Sunday.

1. I love laminating. I think we should laminate more. When I was doing my student teaching I discovered I could get the library to laminate things for me. Then my teacher told me we had to pay for that out of the curriculum budget, unlike all the other copies. Good thing she had a huge savings- sorry lead teacher! But I still love me some melted plastic.

2. Also love- gift bags. Turns out I own quite a few of them. I wanted to buy some on Friday because they were on sale at Target and I stopped myself. Because I don't need any more bags. I don't think I actually need any. but they are so pretty.

3. I went and saw the vow. It was fun. Not a great movie but I did almost cry several times. The more children I have the more feelings I seem to develop. I decided I need to go back to book club or something so I have something to talk about, other than etsy and my new baby. or maybe I just need to find a scranton etsy mom- I bet I could. Etsy rules.

4. I don't like it here. Maybe it is the weather which is totally gray or the fact that John is in school and I having a hard time seeing the long term picture. Maybe it is the fact that I wish I had more energy to do yard work, even though it is the middle of winter. Maybe it is something else or I just have a bad attitude right now. I haven't been able to watch the office since I moved here because it just isn't funny that this place is strange. Whatever. Peace out Scranton.

5. My kids are cute when they play nice. They put their stuffed animals to bed. Also Elmo spends a lot of time in the corner in time out. I don't think I put them in time out to warrant the amount of negative attention poor little Elmo is getting.

6. I think writing a blog is boring. not boring- pinterest. Hello awesome! I didn't even realize how cool pinterest could be. It's like filling up a shopping cart and pretending you are going to buy it, but from lots of different stores. http://pinterest.com/claireandjanae/ oh my I like some people's taste a lot.

7. I really need a new zig zag foot for my pfaff. It is making me crazy. I don't want to drive the hour it takes to get to a pfaff store. Especially not with the three kiddos. Even though they are good, they aren't that good. I wish the pfaff website had a store, or your could buy the feet at joann's. Love my sewing machine- once again don't love Scranton, since one of the many things they don't have is a pfaff store.

8. Andrew is probably our easiest kid. He has to go to the doctor a lot and he doesn't like that but he pretty reliably sleeps at least six hours. Holy lucky me. I could see how people would have lots of kid if they were all like this. That being said, I still feel a bit like a zombie. A lot. He's still a baby after all, and babies are high maintenance. Good thing they are also so adorable. I need to clean my house, it is oppressing me. Maybe I should just throw away all those messy kid toys...

9. I don't know how some people manage to be so sympathetic. Your heart just goes out to them. I don't think I'm one of these people. Sometimes I wish I was, because I have this theory that if I was people would show up at my house with pie and hang out with me sympathetically and hold my baby while I worked on stuff. But then i get annoyed with people whining about their lives and I wouldn't want people to think that of me. I am also not someone people usually push around either so that's good. Too bad it seems hard to be both.

10. I was watching the view in the waiting room at the doctors office for Andrew and they were talking about how Obama made a comment about taxes and referred to the scriptures where much is given, much is required. One of the girls didn't like it. At first I really related to that comment, because I feel like you should want to help other people. Then I sort of understood where she was coming from, because I don't know if I feel like government should control your religious practice. In Germany the church can automatically take taxes from your paycheck like the government. It seems so tidy and easy, but very foreign for me since America really pounds the separation of church and state. It's odd when you go somewhere else and realize how much this huge issue is a non-point other places. Still not sure how I feel about the whole thing, except that I might still be a little too sleep deprived to consider moral implications in politics. I think I need more friends who like to talk about this kind of stuff.
and like board games. Seriously miss the board game club where I lived before. I didn't necessarily like those people or have much in common except the love of board games. on the down side I came pretty close to learning to play magic, and paint some of my board game figurines. Confirming that it is time to embrace my inner geek a little more.

How was your Sunday?

what's Up?

Most days I feel like the baby will literally fall out of me. Then I realize this is impossible, if I remember labor correctly it feels like a cross between death and some other horrible fate where you wish you were dead.
something like that. Maybe i will go run a marathon tonight. John tells me with my luck I would just be uncomfortable and go well past my due date. He is probably right.

I distract myself from all this positive thinking by pondering things I could get for Christmas if I was totally rich. Other than a deck there are a lot of cool things out there. Things I will probably never own but like to think about.

More things I want:
Cooling racks
wire whisk.
my mom tells me I need these things.
She is right.
A bookshelf.
a pedicure.
a ticket on southwest.
to visit my grandma again. I love visiting her. She is amazing.

I just realized the other day I haven't really been paying attention to Christmas- since I am totally unprepared for it. Now there are no more pink fijits in the world, so Danielle will be a sad girl.

John finally sent me a list:

USMLE Step 2 Secrets by Theodore X O’Connell and Adam Brochert (Newest version – it’s blue)

Basic Ophthalmology for Medical Students and Primary Care Residents by Cynthia A. Bradford

Practical Ophthalmology: A Manual for Beginning Residents by Fred M. Wilson

Paula Poundstone – I Heart Jokes

Aziz Ansari – intimate moments for a sensual evening

Other awesome comedy cd’s or books on cd

Amazon.com credit

you guessed it- I am buying him cologne and a sweater. Maybe I'll sign him up to run a tough mudder race.

24 days of Christmas List

Yesterday I got my first family Christmas present. Except the ones my mom sent this summer which are safely wrapped in John's office. It was from Claire. Claire is done with her Christmas shopping, but no one ever doubted that she is an overachiever.
At least I didn't.
Of course getting this present and her calling to ask what I wanted sparked a powerful stream of greed.
Let's think of some things I want for Christmas together- and it's really time for everyone else to put up a list too i think.
because lists are BEAUTIFUL.

Fabric. let's face it I'm crazy for fabric. http://www.formandfabric.com/products/Echino%2C-Damask-%252d-Pink.html I love this fabric.
Alhambra big box. I know we are going to start playing a ton more games after baby Madsen shows up.
Small World. just another game I want.
Hard Wood Floors. They are on sale right now at Home Depot. I was hoping to be able to replace my own flooring before the baby comes. totally realistic right?
Amy Butler Rug. I still want it. I'm convinced that 2,000.00 for a rug is totally what other people were thinking of getting me for Christmas. Otherwise I would just buy it for myself. Oh wait...
Echino fabric. I really like the madrigal fabric. Did you know that Jen got me some fabric from Mountain of the Dragon for my birthday? I was so excited I almost cried.Not only did she read my ~~boring~~ blog, but she got me something from my list. what the heck. I was happy.
My little Pony Iron Ons. how cool is that? I have a child so I can get stuff like that, right?
Kindle Fire. Why do I want one of these? But I do....
Bath and Body Works Apple crumble candles. They just make me smile. and my store is out of them, which makes me sad. I'm so mad that we missed the Halloween sales...
A Bunk Bed for the kids. with mattresses.
A pressure cooker. because I like steal cut oatmeal.
Raspberry Ice Kitchenaid Stand Mixer are you kidding me? I am in love.
sectional sofa for the front room. You can never have enough couches in your life, right?
17 inch MacBook pro. it's a wishlist right?
Pink Ugg one Button Boots in Pink. I love pink today.
42 inch flat screen tv of some kind. I know I should watch less tv...
The Living room and stairs painted.
I have always secretly dreamed of getting those food things you see in the Williams Sonoma catalog. I love the vanilla but they don't have it at my grocery store. I also want a blue bread basket though...
A Gym membership. They cost about 300 dollars these days... Jim Brown is super friendly and I think he would help me lose weight after this baby :-)
Satin Blanket binding. Joann Fabrics has a lot of it. I love it.
Double Jogging Stroller from REI.
A shed.
A small deck.
My bedroom painted a lighter color. Don't tell John, he would be sad.

A List...

Today I went to a "marker party" which turned out to be just me getting free markers and white boards.
needless to say, it ruled.
as many things rule.

Five things that Rocked This week.

Marker Party- hello free markers. Washable ones too.
Danielle playing in the sprinklers. It is super fun to watch- remember doing that as a child?
Swings- every kid loves swings. when no one came to walking group we just played on the swings and the kids were super happy.
Having a dog that eats crackers off the floor when the kiddos leave them lying around. This is a really nice dog feature. I think it might make up for the hair feature but I don't know yet.
Listing new things in my etsy shop. I like feeling more organized. Like the other day when I finally managed to put all the laundry away. and then washed more...

Five Things that Didn't So Much Rock..

still throwing up and feeling nauseated all day. rude. Ok I don't throw up every day, just a few times a week. I pretty much never threw up with my last pregnancies
Mark can't share a room with Danielle because he just bites her non-stop. also he likes to scream for fun. and when he's angry.
Going to the ward "walking group" where no one came. so many ladies who say they want to work out... OK I guess it did rain later.
Bentley coming back on the Bachelorette. I'm over that already even though it hasn't happened.
Headaches. I get them most days- I have allergies. whatev.

Birthday List. I'm turning 30.

well today is mother's day. complete with that creepy story about the mom who breaks into her son's bedroom his whole life. Please tell me I'm not the only one who can't get over how creepy this story seems? Maybe because the first time I heard it a creepy teacher read it- I don't know. I'm just really glad for mother's day that my mother in law doesn't just REALLY want to rock her sons to sleep still. She's super nice, but not in a creepy over involved way.
Also, at least two of the people we sent mother's day flowers to today did NOT get them. Fail.
Yesterday I was talking to my little sister (who is 25) about mother's day and and she asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Perfect. I love talking about stuff I want. Then mom asked me. and I realized I hadn't made a huge blog list for all my friends to look at and ignore.
This is like a portion of my birthday. I've talked a lot about the awesomeness of birthday lists. Maybe I should try to start making a mom shopping guide. and when i say mom I mean just make extensive lists of stuff I want.
So here are some things I want. I decided to leave off the traditional car since I want a new car for John and the Deck, because if you've ever spoken to me you know I want a deck, and that I won't get it for my birthday.

Stuff that is awesometastic.

White Pottery Barn Frames. I want 3 8 by 10 s and some 4 by 6 single opening frames.
Bulbs from Dutch Gardens. I want the Pink Estate Quantities. and the Cartouche Tulips. I also really want some irises.
Fabric. I really Like Japanese echino fabric. I always think I will make things for my etsy shop with it but really it's too precious for that so I don't. My favorite seller of this fabric on etsy is MountainoftheDragon. You should check out her shop.
A cushion for my outdoor glider in Delray Azure from Ballard Designs. OK or any blue fun color. The link is to the right size.
A copper trellis for my beans.
Wireless Remote Grilling thermometer from Williams Sonoma
Barnes and Noble gift cards. I have a nook and I LOVE it.
A Grilling brand from Williams Sonoma. How FREAKING cool is that?
Kitchen Towels. You could even buy them from me...
Kitchenaid. I want a teal one. or a blue one. Or a green one... or whatever.
Electric pepper mill.
New cookie sheets
Family Photos
a massage
a haircut and color.
Decorative Packing tape. I also love all paper products. Love.
makeup.
Hair Elastics
Perfume- I want cool water for women and Chanel Allure and Eclat d'arpege
Ceramic Jonathan Adler fox.
A jigsaw.

service I want- like a million things. OK really this is a to do list. No one would ever be able to do all these things. Which is why they would end up on my list.

all my dandelions pulled up
the raspberries tied back.
My trellises installed.
Dirt spread around the back flower beds.
stairs to the basement finished.
batteries in my kitchen scale.
my bathrooms cleaned. and my kitchen floor. I hate cleaning the kitchen floor. maybe because I have to do it several times a day...
Garage shelves moved.
Toilet installed upstairs.
Roses planted
Raspberries planted

Ridiculous stuff I wouldn't really ever ask for but wouldn't it be cool if I was rich and got this stuff?

Ipad. hello, awesome.
Lamb Shoes from Piperlime.
Tucker Panel Dress. It's so fun and colorful. and expensive. I love it.
Nook Color. I love my nook, but I love the color one more... what a greedy waste of money, right?
Breville Toaster Oven. It got the highest ratings, you know.
A Canon Camera. I have a Nikon. My son destroyed it. Thanks, Mark.
a deck.
a shed.
Amy Butler Rug
Amy Butler wallpaper
personal training

Stuff I want to do.

Go to the movies
Go out to dinner with my friends.
Go on a bike ride. (so I guess those tires need to be blown up...)
Cheesecake Factory. OK maybe I'm craving that now...

Marriage Excellence: The Disclaimer.

Now in order to have a more honest marriage I've thought of some things that we could assign blame for. What inspired this thought? Danielle waking Mark up at one in the morning. She decided to forgo sleep in favor of the much more interesting coloring. She wanted to use her paints so she did. The Blue paint was not as desirable so she took the lid off and dumped it behind the toilet. The yellow paint was only worthy of the hallway floor. But the red paint- Oh the red paint! it was good enough for the bed and the wall and her hair and the toilet and the tub, sink, and the wonderful carpet. In order to tell future generations about the fun she had Danielle drew pictures in a permanent marker she found in my purse. Smiley faces all over the twin bed- and the wall. And oddly on her feet but whatever.
I was so overwhelmed by the paint that I woke John up. Mark was screaming but I thought we should clean his room out a little- you see everything had been emptied from his closet onto the floor, including the new toy bin for his usually immaculate room. John was dumbfounded. Why would someone do such a horrible thing? She has had access to bath paint in the bathroom and markers in her room for a LONG time. Why now? What is wrong with our child?
Then me being overwhelmed by the mess turned into something else: shame.
You see, I remember getting in trouble for coloring on- well, everything. The lampshade, the bed, the wall. John does not remember being in trouble for such blatant destruction of property.
I'm pretty sure he would remember if he had done it.
very sure.

I can't help but wonder why that never came up while we were dating- by the way we are liable to have children that color on things and climb on furniture in order to get objects they should not have. Also, they will probably try to hide food under their beds and hoard our stolen possessions. Let's not talk about what they will do when they are teenagers. After a little consideration of our children I thought of how John could have let me know that out children would have food allergies and probably have acid reflux.

So I thought of a way to make every marriage better. At least if you are planning to reproduce during that marriage. Or even other relationships where children will result- it is a helpful disclaimer to help your spouse know what they are getting into.
Here are some questions that would be helpful as an extension of normal illnesses that would be helpful to know, like epilepsy or diabetes:

During your infancy/childhood did you/ were you

have a serious illness
described as "colicky"
Have an allergy. Describe___
Have irregular growth
Bite other children
Hit other children
get kicked out of preschool/daycare/primary
Hurt animals (OK side note maybe don't marry the person if this is true)
Color on your walls
Color on other furniture
Color on other people
Steal things from your family
steal things from school
steal things from friends
break other kids' toys
hoard food under your bed
never go to bed
purposefully disobey your parents
throw temper tantrums
Break windows on purpose
sneak around while your parents were asleep to do things you knew you shouldn't do.
wake your siblings up.
try to hide the sheets you painted on.
lie about wetting the bed.
Lie about other things. Describe_____

Not all those things apply to me, but I would like to take this moment to say that my mom has a photo of me after we colored all over our bodies. Not to be confused with the time we colored all over the walls. Also we did it in the morning- not like when we colored on our bedroom furniture when we were staying up late. Like we did every night.
and I hoarded food under my bed. and stole all my dad's quarters. and some other stuff. Like the time I tried to steal my cousin's toys.

And all this before I even started Kindergarten.

sorry love.

I'm pretty optimistic about the way we cleaned everything out of Danielle's room so fast. No more toys, no more bookshelves. No more pillow pets. She was so exhausted during the process she fell asleep. at 1:30 in the morning. I know you thought that was a good idea earlier, and I'm glad we finally did it.
Less optimistic about: the carpet....

What should you have told your spouse about?

Hello Good Night.

here's my adorable model Bronson

today was one of those days. And when I say that- I don't mean one of those good days.
It makes me want to eat lots of candy. And sleep. And call my mom.
OK I am just sick of fighting with a three year old about bedtime.

So here are some things that are fantastic about today:
1. I went to the gym. (OK we got kicked out after not very long because Mark wouldn't stop screaming in the childcare- but I was happy we went).
2. I am not on muscle relaxants as of today - I'm on arthritis medicine (because I've been having headaches so I'm taking anti-inflammatory drugs for my jaw which I like to clench.)
3. I got to take an awesome nap.
4. I still got over 11,000 steps even with my nap and short workout.
5. My sink has no dishes in it.
6. I bought myself a sweater. A nice one.
7. My kids give each other hugs. I could die it is so adorable.
8. I found out from my friend Nichole that I can take my broken dyson to a store and they will fix it- I guess they are guaranteed for life! Now I won't die from dog hair inhalation.
9. I made biscuits and put Nutella on them = happiness.
10. I have great friends. Nichole came to visit me yesterday and Claire let me use her baby as a model for my etsy shop. I also got to see Suzy's adorable new baby. I love babies.

I've found that whenever I am feeling really bad about life working hard on something makes me feel better. and if that doesn't work, I try to do something for someone else. I remember hearing as a child that if you are ever feeling sorry for yourself you aren't serving other people enough. So if you feel down, do something for someone else. I think it works. There is nothing more magical than work.

The Bunny Ninjas have arrived. what could be better?

So what was awesome about your day?

Top Ten and Bottom Ten of a Tired Day

wtf card available in a pack HERE

Some days just seem off somehow. Today was one of those days. I didn't know quite what wasn't working but nothing seemed to go exactly right. I didn't even shower until 7:30. At night- not in the morning. and I needed to shower. But the whole day I had the vague sense of unease and then tried to think of positive things. For each negative thought I try to have one positive thought- is that like talking to yourself?
I don't know. But I do know that I am ready for a better day tomorrow.

Bottom 10 for the day:
1. Stupid Facebook Status Updates. Seriously this is not the best place to brag- and stop with the overshares. STOP NOW. and stop playing games- oh wait I don't care about that I don't get those updates anymore.
2. Almost running out of gas.
3. Being stuck in traffic when my gas light went on for 40 minutes.
4. Feeling like I was getting a cold.
5. Being very discouraged about Etsy. Sometimes I feel like I should quit. Like today I thought that.
6. Having a headache all night.
7. being frustrated with everything and nothing. Feeling like I couldn't talk about it because then I would be whining, and I hate whining.
8. no cupcakes.
9. secret stuff that I don't talk about on my blog.
10. Did I mention I got stuck in traffic and almost ran out of gas? well that was stressful. I guess that was the most stressful thing of the day so I didn't really need a list of 10 things.

Top 10-
1. Being able to turn off the updates for a specific facebook apps- like Farmville. It seems like a waste of time and even if I was going to start it my farm would never compare.
2. not running out of gas.
3. Getting to take a nap with the kiddos when I felt like I was getting a cold, and waking up two hours later feeling much better.
4. John doing the dishes.
5. John studying a lot so I don't feel guilty about his school.
6. Finally getting the fabric I need for a custom etsy order from a repeat customer.
7. Watching the Bachelor
8. Going to ballet with Danielle
9. Selling one thing on Etsy
10. making cookies- then eating some of those cookies.

How was your day?

Sunday Thoughts: New Years Resolutions

Lots of people make new years resolutions. Every year they look back and think about what they need to be doing better. This Sunday I've thought about writing a life changing blog post about what type of resolutions I will have.
Instead I've thought of an easy plan to make your new years resolutions- you can get a complete list in ten easy steps. Now I know it's hard for some of you to think of ways you can improve- but here is short program that I guarantee will help.

1. First ask yourself- am I fat? If so, all of your resolutions can be about this. There are lots of recent fads about dieting- sign yourself up for a program. Maybe join a gym. Preferably do something expensive because the economy could use some more consumer spending.
2. Next ask yourself- am I in debt? another freebie. Obviously weight loss purchases don't count here.
3. Third- are you lazy? well that should stop.
4. Fourth- are you dirty? Clean it up.
5. Fifth- think of some things that would be impossible to keep up on a daily basis unless you were superman- make it a goal to do all those things EVERY SINGLE DAY. Like work out and never eat candy and be kind to others or don't think bad thoughts. Also clean your house and spend at least an hour of quality time with your kids and never watch TV and have an organic garden and cook all your bread. Just one easy resolution.
6. Think of all the things your mom has criticized about you lately. make it a resolution to fix them. This brings me the resolution to vacuum my stairs every day. Oh my, and the list goes on. Don't go back too far, she doesn't bring up all the stupid stuff you said as a teenager.
7. Next- ask a friend. you could just send a quick message to all your facebook friends asking you what you could do to improve. Too bad facebook hasn't started the "enemies" section that would be so fun. I bet your enemies would be more honest with you about what you need to improve.
8. Maybe you don't have a friend? Well your resolution could be to get a friend. If any hygiene related resolutions pop up with that one, just go with it (refer to number 5).
9. Make a few intangible goals. "live life to the fullest" is a good generic intangible goal- as is "live like you are dying" which works for some people but only the pure of heart, because if I was dying I might want to rob a bank. Or just go take a nap more often than I do.
10. Write all those goals down. This could take a few days- especially as you wait for the answers from step seven to roll in.

I promise- if you follow these steps for one year- you will be a better person.

and I will leave you with the image of some cards I was going to put in my etsy shop- I took a picture of the Christ statue in Potsdam and made a card- then I thought hey- why not a card pack? I took the picture and the creepy row of Christs got to me so I just left it out.

I guess if you are sending someone a card inspiring hope you don't buy it in a multi-pack. and now I know why.
But Just in case you know a LOT of people that need prayers- here is an awesome paypal button for the cards. It could fill your resolution to be more generous and pray more.
xoxo Janae

Christmas Lists

I'm convinced that Christmas lists are the best thing ever invented. For example at Macy's you can go drop you letter to Santa off and tell him what you want- there is a big mail box. So for the last little while every time Danielle has asked for something I tell her she should tell Santa what she wants.
The other day John sat down with Danielle to write her Christmas list.

Danielle's Christmas list so far:
Tree House
5 pinkalicious bocks. No 6. or more.
Goldalicious
Unicornalicious
Books
Toy Trap with Woody and Buzz
A Meal at Mc McDonalds
A Scooter Like Penny's
Sunglasses
Shoes
Flashlight
Goggles
A Girl Hat
A pop up fire truck and American Girl dog (added a few days later as she looked at a catalog)

I loved her descriptions- and that I knew what some of the more cryptic toy requests were.
Too bad she's not going to get that tree house though- we drew up some basic plans and priced out the lumber at a little over $1000.00. Maybe I'll draw her a picture of one.
She is also helping us pick out toys for other people. She wants to get her gymnastics teacher a sit and spin. And for her best friends? that's right- Ponies. or Pinkalicious.

We may or may not have read pinkalicious right before she wrote her list.

Insomnia and Sick Kiddos.

Tonight Danielle and I are up. she has a cold. I have some weird pain in my face. Just the left side. I think it's my sinus and I just hope that it's not from my teeth. Se we are eating a snack and watching little bill on TV. Time to make my Christmas List!
Middle of the night Christmas Lists are the best. You can imagine how thrilled I was when someone asked me the other day what I wanted. It was my sister. Bless her awesome heart!
I find making a Christmas list almost as exciting as actually getting the presents- plus I get to spend A LOT more money on my imaginary list.

My Christmas List:
1. Darling dipping dishes from HopeJohnson on Etsy
2. Kate Spade China in June Lane Gold
3. Barnes and Noble gift cards.
4. Brown High Heels size 8.5. I can't seem to find a pair. With closed toes.
5. Minky Fabric from Minkydelight.com
6. Laminated Cotton fabric like Nicey Jane or Michael Miller or Amy Butler (or any cute oilcloth fabric)
7. Echino fabric I like SuperBuzzy to get it. I want some of the new ones SO MUCH. I don't have any of the Fall 2010 fabric and it makes me sad.
8. A Serger.
9. The Living Room Painted.
10. The garage painted. I know that sounds silly but I love the idea of a painted garage.
11. Stockholm products from the containerstore like the drawer.
12. A deck.
13. Amy Butler rug- Wallflower large rug. wow it's beautiful. and expensive.
14. To go to the Biggest Loser Resort. I've been watching the show with my friend Suzy and I think it would blow my mind. in a good way.
15. A bound cookbook with my mom's recipes- complete ones, not the drafts.
16. A white tub instead of the yellow one.
17. A stereo for the basement.
18. A new computer- with CS5 from photoshop- or lightroom.
19. A clean house that someone else cleaned.
20. Board Games. I love them SO MUCH.

End Positive Post #20

Positive Post #11

Today I got to take a nap. So I'm Up late now. and we are on day three of no Halloween candy.
I can't tell you the joy that is filling my heart.
I am so joyous that I have only a candy apple covered with caramel and chocolate in my fridge that is for Nichole who I visit teach and is sick right now. I don't want to eat it at all.
I also want to put all the laundry away. a lot. I love laundry. it is so wonderful to have clean clothes. I need to find my camera. I can blog about my children- that is positive. They are sharing a room right now which is part of my attempt to save money in heating.

Here are some things that make me happy. As in I was looking at them and I want to buy them. Or more specifically I want someone else to buy them and give them to me so I have them. I would love them. I would give them names. Like George and Harry. The only two names any stuffed animal in my life ever had.

Porter Cable Band Saw

I guess I would have to name this tool Porter. Maybe John would buy me some pink enamel paint and I could own a pink Band saw. That would be the coolest thing in the world. It makes me giddy just thinking about it. Available at Lowes for a mere 399.00! Much cheaper than the several thousand dollar one I was looking at earlier. Makes you wonder why I don't just buy it- right? oh wait...

Troy-Bilt 250cc Gas Chipper Shredder

Goodbye yard debris! Hello compost... Now I know what to do with those sticks that are falling on my roof. This one is only 799.00 which is totally cheaper than the ones I saw at the Hardware store the other day. and they were on special.
Name: Charles. I know- charles the chipper sounds stupid to you. You know what sounds stupid to me? Not eating Halloween candy. but it is happening, just like naming my chipper Charles.

Cedar Shed Gardener 8 by 16
My uncle Mark built a hidden shed which is pretty exciting.
I don't have that kind of skill. I get tired just thinking about it. A shed can be quite expensive- this one is over 3,000.00. I guess those houses we looked at with sheds should have impressed me more. How was I to know?
Name: Albert

End Positive Post 11 of 31

My Family: A 10 Item Update

what fun these back to school photos would be if we were in Utah.

Here is a Madsen Family Update in 10 Items.

Austin ate some ant poison and had his first accident in our house.
Danielle told us she would be nice to people when she was a doctor. Her first job aspiration. I wondered why she always wanted to go the the doctor and listen to our hearts with the stethoscope John gave her. John seemed a little giddy about it, which was cute.
Mark has moved down to the 40th percentile in weight. He gets too distracted to eat. He has a milk intolerance.
John has an ulcer.
I have been folding all of my fabric in the same way. Who knew that a simple blog tutorial would make me so happy.
Austin is bathed and I found the hole in the backyard that he has been drinking about. I stopped worried about him having kidney disease.
Danielle started Preschool. I am so proud of my little girl and she loves packing her backpack and going to school.
Mark is trying to stop taking naps. But he is also sleeping at night and only wakes up once and is a darling little old man. he has four words- our names and "Uh Oh" which is a throwing game he likes to play with his food.
John is in Med School. Still. For a long time to come. He announces that he is boring.
I sold some stuff on Etsy. and Finished our walkway. still have half a wall to tile in the bathroom.

Happy Bithday Mark!

Baby Mark is one, so I guess he is officially a toddler now.
He is also my squishy little love. He comes up to us and presses his open mouth against us to give kisses.
Here are 12 things to know about our 12 month old:

Mark likes to crawl about on the floor- if he can't have his freedom he gets very very upset.

Mark loves to play with danielle- I love that he calls me mama, John dada and Daniel da-el.

Mark has been taking steps for over three months and is still not walking.

Mark has to have something in his hand when he is eating.

Mark loves rugs.

Mark also loves dirt.

Mark doesn't like other people- he wants mommy and daddy with him and he wants to play with Danielle and if we are out he wants mommy to hold him. He is sure of this.

Mark puts toys away with us.

Mark loves to throw a ball and chase it.

Mark likes to feed Austin food from the table.

Mark wakes up twice a night to eat.

Mark hates car rides- he can stay up over 12 hours to complain about them.

We love our baby Mark. Happy Birthday.

Sunday Thoughts: Sunday Activities.

I really hate it in church when people have extensive debates about what is appropriate on the Sabbath. I don't want my daughter to watch any TV on Sunday but in the end that just makes the day less restful for me. And the people who are the most militant about not cleaning on Sunday have dirty homes all week. I think if someone came over and cleaned my house and then made me dinner they are doing service and then I wouldn't be breaking the sabbath and neither would they.
So hopefully someone else will come over and paint my kitchen next Sunday.

Sunday is also a wonderful time for reflection.
Let's reflect on this week.

This week was a little bit melodramatic I think. But I really did think I was dying/friendless/never going to get our house fixed. Maybe on Sunday we can do a little activity: get a sheet of paper and make three columns: normal, melodramatic, and ignored. You can write down when you overreacted and when you let yourself get walked all over. Like when that "friend" told you she knew you were a large when you are actually a small.
Of course I am not a small so that would never make my list. But that is a Sunday activity- thinking about what I maybe overreacted to. Like setting a list of goals- Goal: don't yell at my mom for asking if I need something to eat but do yell at the girl who criticizes my cooking even though she's never cooked for me.
I find myself either ignoring things or being completely unreasonable. I also find myself wanting to landscape and clean my house on Sunday. If I find it calming to have it done than doing it is resting, right?
The other solution is to do lots of baking on Sunday, and writing letters. I used to write letters in church, which would also help me not get bothered by crazy things that some people say. Since now I primarily entertain myself with caring for children in church I don't leave quite as rested. Last week I thought for a long time about how we could build a kid pen in the chapel- just a section of chairs where people could sit and they could still hear but the children couldn't run up to the stand. I think the biting and hitting children shouldn't be allowed in the box, with a one strike and week and you are out. Or I could use some of those good kids that just sit and color rather than trying to climb on top of my head and color on their friends.

Good thing I'm still getting in that spiritual help to get me through the week, right? I didn't actually go to church today because I pulled my skirt out of my bag and it turned out to be pants and then Mark fell asleep so I stayed home. Then he screamed at me a lot while John was gone. On the plus side I also didn't clean anything because we are staying with Mark and Sara and their house is quite clean.

My week Goals:
Finish the Downstairs Bathroom Tile
Put up two shelves in the basement and organize a bit down there
Put all my laundry away. Not that I have a big pile I haven't put away yet because that would never happen...
Work out three times.
Take Danielle to her Dance class.
Sign Danielle up for gymnastics.
Do my visiting teaching.

My Expensive Hobbies

I want to be able to sew my quilts together myself. there I said it.

I want to be able to have a serger. This one is cheap at Joann.com but I really want the on from pfaff I saw for 2,000.00 blah.

beautiful. I always need loads of threads and the joann by my house doesn't even carry 100% cotton thread.

I try to make things every day. but sometimes I have ideas that I don't actually have the things for. I borrowed Sara's cricut for a while and now that I returned it my heart is breaking. I want to cut out about 75 butterflies in bright colors SO BAD! it kills me. also I want to make a quilt but I don't have a machine quilter. I guess I could try to quilt it together on my machine but that isn't the best idea ever. I dream of owning one of those giant quilting machines.

Did I mention that this month I'm trying to make at least one thing a day? well I am. You should too. you could make food or sew something or finish one scrapbook page a day or whatever floats your boat. Check out my post HERE
my etsy shop blog needs more comments. I wanted to thank my fantastic sisters in law who comment on it. smiles.

Birthdays and Presents

image from Raceytay on etsy. BEAUTIFUL. She is having a Buy One Get One Free sale right now.

I love birthdays. I love presents. There are so many great things about the two of them.
but I don't apparently love getting people presents on time. I have a list on my fridge of all of my in laws that have had birthdays this year. If you are crossed out we got you a present. Not many names are crossed out. They usually get together every summer and have a huge group birthday party but not this summer and I just haven't recovered. Plus the last card I send Karen came back to me so I keep meaning to call her and ask for her address. I keep failing. She is one of the hardest people to get a present for. Because she always gets thoughtful presents but doesn't seem to really care about presents.
I don't think I've ever managed to get my mother in law a present even in the same month as her birthday.
I don't know if my present problems this year is from having two children and being completely overwhelmed with that or trying to get a more firm grasp on budgeting or just that I am out of ideas.
But If I could get anything it would be a barbecue. I'm always still accepting birthday presents since I am so bad at giving them. And birth presents.
There is something beautiful about presents. I love when you find something and then you just know that someone will love it. I think of how people will react to things that I picked for them.
Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it is a fail.

Things I have learned.
1. The people who are the most picky are the people who say they don't care.
2. Presents that are off birthday or surprise presents seem more popular.
3. Table cloths seem like such a luxury item- my mom used to get them for me and now I love having them but wouldn't really buy them for myself. They are just nice to use and wash. All those kitchen items that my mom got me turned out to be really useful.
4. Claire and I don't have the same taste in presents. When I try to think of what to get her I think- how can I save Claire money. One of my strongest present memories was my mom giving Claire a ream of paper. I think Claire cried. She shared that paper.
5. I like to get people things that remind me of them, or things that I know they would like but they wouldn't get themselves. I always wish I had more money to spend on other people.
6. I hoard gift cards. Someone sent me a gift card to home depot and it hurt to give it away. There were so many options on what I wanted to get. I love having extra gift cards lying around.
7. I always buy people a card to go with their present but rarely give them. I have this really cute sock monkey card for Rachelle's birthday two years ago. Maybe someday she will get it, maybe not.
8. Always keep a stock of back up presents- people are thrilled when you give them a little something. I like to keep lotions and other presents.
9. Even though people say they don't care, usually they do. Friends get friends presents. To me that is one of the best parts about having a friend.
10. Presents = Love. I love the thought of people looking at something and remembering me. and sending it to me in the mail! Nothing is better than getting a present in the mail.

please forgive my scatterbrained-ness. I swear I will get all these presents mailed one of these days...

Religion and Marriage Excellence

Religion can help you achieve the highest level of awesomeness in the Janae and John Marriage Excellence plan. I love my church but I don’t think we have any monopoly on marital happiness. The John and Janae Excellence program would have to discard and even scorn these misconceptions.

For example, one of my friends assumed that her marriage decision to marry in an LDS temple, where they teach you that your marriage will extend beyond the grave, would help her in everyday communication with her husband.

Oh dear friend, how wrong you were.

Think not of what your religion will do for you, but what fun you can have with a little creative editing of your religion. Some think that re-arranging the words of church leaders to change their meaning is the first part of apostasy. Others will say that it is what the devil does to lead you away. I will tell you it is also a super funny marital activity.

Really, if you take your religion and yourself all that seriously in marriage you will break under all the pressure. If you don’t, your spouse is lying to you about your capabilities. The people who are the most confident in their correctness and righteousness in marriage are also the most deluded.

One of my ~~least~~ favorite religious sermons on marriage came from the Ensign in May of 2003. I think with a little editing I learned something profoundly important about how my religion has changed my marriage.

“As is common today, when we married she registered with a local department store. Instead of listing all the pots and pans and appliances we needed and hoped to receive, she chose another course. She asked for silverware. She chose a pattern and the number of place settings and listed knives, forks, and spoons on the wedding registry and nothing else. No towels, no toasters, no television—just knives, forks, and spoons. The wedding came and went. Our friends and our parents’ friends gave gifts. We departed for a brief honeymoon and decided to open the presents when we returned. When we did so, we were shocked. There was not a single knife or fork in the lot. ...

My Wife….never went to the many ward dinners she cooked, or never accompanied the many meals she made and sent to others who were sick or needy. It never went on picnics and never went camping. In fact it never went anywhere; and, as time went by, it didn’t even come to the table very often. Some of our friends were weighed in the balance, found wanting, and didn’t even know it…. Eternal Marriage is just like that. We need to treat it just that way.”

Lessons from this religious parable:

No one gets what they register for
That doesn't mean you won't eventually get it. They don't give those registry completion discounts for nothing.
My mom didn’t want to go camping, and my dad certainly never went on any marital picnics. Probably because it was actually against their religion. Now I know why.
No spouse in their right mind makes the same pie for their small family that they will make for a group.
These days no one comes to the table to eat when they could be watching T.V.

Could this famous sermon be why my mom started getting us silverware when we were 12? Maybe you got a barbie or some other age appropriate present, but I could start the judging and balancing before I was even in a relationship. and that is an eternal perspective if I ever saw one.

Want to achieve marriage excellence? Find you own personal sermon on marriage. Seriously feel free to leave it as a comment. Also, remember to use the silverware at your wedding. For eating that super expensive food.

Quotation taken from Elder F Burton Howard of the Seventy “Eternal Marriage” Ensign 2003. Out of context.

Silverware Image source here