Groceries

Today I went grocery shopping without my children. OK it was the other day- but you an imagine. I missed them so much. So I decided to nag myself for everything I saw that I wanted. I compulsively added items to the cart and then decided I wanted a different flavor. I ran from the cart to another aisle. I talked to the lobsters for a few minutes and cried when I had to leave them. I ordered every single kind of cake item.
I moved around the cereal boxes. I dumped all the granola bars on the floor. Then I picked up 4 or five varieties of fruit snacks and lots of chips. I picked up the pooping chicken in the easter candy and bought myself a stuffed animal. When I got to the aisle I hugged everyone's legs and told them if they looked funny. I got a twix and one of those bottle pop suckers. I had already eaten two jelly beans from the bag I ripped open and thrown the rest on the floor. I also had to go get the contents of my wallet from where I had thrown them down in disgust. I had hot dogs and lunchables, as well as every variety of dannonino yogurt.

not quite satisfied, I decided to cut out the middle mad entirely. I decided I didn't get the right fruit on the way home and had to go back for yellow apples and handi snacks. Then I got myself some cake with a princess plate. I put it on the table and went to watch shows. Each time there was a commercial break I got a new fork to get another bite. Then I just wiped frosting in my hair and threw the rest of the food in a pile on the floor. I dumped my cool-aid on my lovely pile then brought my nectarines to the basement. I took one bite of each of them and hid them behind a toy bin to rot. I emptied the bag of goldfish crackers in my bed then jumped on it to get them nice and crumbly.

When John came home, I blamed Austin the dog.
I think it was the yogurt all over my shirt that betrayed the truth...