Dear Friend,

Remember when you took that pregnancy test at my house? Maybe next time actually tell me that you didn't tell your husband. Because when we were at a get together at our friends house and you were making fun of me for owning so many pregnancy tests and I wanted you to shut up so I mentioned that I own so many so friends can take them I got a little confused about why you left in a huff.
Your email the next morning at 5 am made me confused for several reasons. You really think I am betraying your trust in not actually mentioning that you took a pregnancy test? WHY THE HECK DIDN'T YOU TELL YOUR HUSBAND? Who needs friends to keep their trust from their husbands- this isn't like you told me that you were cheating on him and I shouldn't tell. (but if you are don't tell me) What do you tell your husband about? Did you stop taking birth control so you could "accidentally" get pregnant.
I have a generally shameless tactic about secrets. I'm not as open as my sister in law Brooke, who is refreshing, but I don't always know what I should "know" is a secret. On a side note Brooke asks me questions that I want to tell her the answer to because she is easy to talk to and fun but I don't want my husband to find out I told. So I don't tell her. And you probably shouldn't have told me you wanted to take a pregnancy test if you didn't want him to hear about it. You could have just taken one. They are in the drawer in the bathroom. I can share my pregnancy test with you. I don't think it's a big deal to take one.
But the digital ones are terrible- you pay a million dollars and get the error sign. I have NEVER had one work and I have taken a few- even when I knew I was pregnant I only got the error sign. HUGE WASTE OF MONEY.
Also making fun of me for having pregnancy tests in the first place was weird and rude. I like to take them when I am worried that I am pregnant. You see I am sexually active. I don't think my husband will be upset when I admit that like yours was. My friend Jen says that no one wants to hear about married sex and I have to agree. This isn't high school anymore- no one talks about it. Speaking of high school I'm glad that I wasn't sexually active in high school, because I totally would have gotten pregnant. My first child was a "surprise." And I actually had to go to the store to buy a pregnancy test when I realized I had skipped a period for the first time since I was twelve. Yep- too many visiting friends took my pregnancy tests.
Thank you for inspiring me to open an esty shop with friendship breakup cards. you should have purchased one for me.

You still can.

-Janae