Quality Time

I've noticed that I hate never seeing John since he is in school. He has only been back in school for one week. I'm not good at the adjustment period. All the nervousness about how stressful last year was is hard to remember so I'm trying to set simple goals and just get them done.
I know lots of women who never see their husbands. They see them less than I see John and their husbands are done with school.
These are the women who have no sympathy for me when I feel like I should mow the lawn myself and wish I could find someone who would do it for 25 dollars. or weed. They tell me I should just mow the lawn. Or put all the laundry away. Or take my children to many classes and organize my basement.
One of my friends has a husband in PA school. they have class almost 12 hours a day- she is pregnant and has a son.
One of the girls has a husband doing his residency. and four kids.
One of them has a husband that works nights- two kids
Another has a husband working to start up a company- four kids
Many of the others simply have husbands that seem to enjoy being at work more than at home.
I don't really feel like the women hang out with each other- they seem happy to be on their own. I am amazed at how much they get done. For some of them there is an end in sight- PA school only lasts two years. But I wonder about the women who will always have this. Does that make them sad? What do they talk to their husbands about? Some of them seem to not really like their husbands.
How much time do you need to feel connected to the person you are with? It's strange to me how part of having a family is how you divide your tasks. You can't do all the chores and work together- especially if you have children and you want to sleep.
I wonder how many people are truly happy and how many of them don't really care either way. I don't know if it comes down to an issue of how much quality time you need with the other person or how many interests you should have in common or what helps people be happy, but I think it's really important to feel like your family is succeeding.