Family

babies don't like to cooperate for pictures at the same time.
mark has discovered that his tongue is very fun to stick out.
classic Mark and Elijah- except they aren't trying to eat each other's hands.
Carlie got them matching shirts- next month we get to see Christina and her baby with the matching shirt.

This morning Carlie left after a week long visit. I think it was pretty brave of her to come because we don't know each other super well. She called me when Mark wasn't sleeping at all and volunteered to come help. I cried.
I didn't realize how overwhelming it can be to have children with no family around. Some people say that two children is much easier than three. My kids seemed to be determined to never be awake at the same time. Two children is Much harder than two. It seems so easy to take care of Danielle if Mark is taking a nap- until he is completely nocturnal and I don't know how to fix it. That child needs one of the most rigid schedules I have ever seen. Who knew that some babies loved schedules and needed things to be quiet. He is pretty sensitive- going out too much or playing too much is way to stressful. So pretty much the opposite of my last baby.
I like how my dad told me that one more is always harder, if it be two or five. We moved here and I have been dealing with postpartum depression and the adjustment to medical school and two children. I finally got insurance approval to cover my medicine this last week. And Mark turned five months old.
Carlie's visit was different- we did projects and she did all the dishes and cooked. That woman can plan a menu. We stayed up and talked about babies. I got to take a nap every day and go to the gym. It felt like family.
The feeling of family is so important. These are people who will always be there. My sisters and I used to talk all the time and go to the bathroom together. We would talk with a towel in our laps. I like them to come over and talk to me while I do chores. Sisters can help you mop your floor. My sisters know the checklists my mom used to use to see if we were done with our chores. they clean a bathroom the right way. We can sit on the couch most of the day and not feel bad.
My sisters work. I haven't seen them since I moved here. My mom has never seen my baby. I always imagined she would come and help clean my house- I always assumed that was the plan. Life hasn't really cooperated though. I never really thought about my husband's family in all my dreams about family. I didn't' imagine my mother in law helping me with my new baby. I thought my siblings would be having babies the same time I was. In my dreams I didn't know the people who would somehow always be pregnant the same time I was. At first I resented how they seemed to take away from my special moments- I'm not the first to have a child and everyone else is having a baby the same week. They didn't do things like my family did-like gossiping about each other constantly and talking on the phone for hours a week. They don't really care about presents. They aren't the people who were there for my first heartache.
My reality about family is different than what I imagined. I may not have parents that I can visit for Thanksgiving. Maybe someday I will though. Carlie's visit and Brooke's experiences recently have made me think a lot about the power of women. Women are family. Family helps you when you need help. Family talks to you about life.
I am grateful that Carlie is in my family too.