Dear Austin

Dear Austin,
We are very glad to have you in our family. When we went to pick up Claire's friend in the WalMart parking lot and found you playing in the snow I thought you were sort of ugly. What was the name of that friend? I remember it was unique- maybe we will name our next baby that name if I can ever remember it. The next day when you vomited what looked like moving spaghetti onto the floor I thought you were dying. Austin I'm glad you are my first dog ever. and that I named you after that crazy kid in my class with the curly hair.
Austin, I think it's OK that you aren't good at training. Each time we took you to a class and you had to re-do it at least once it was fun to see you be so darn good at down. Like how you throw yourself on the ground. Also by the third time you catch on quick and everyone thinks we have a super dog. I honestly thought it was more than a little funny when you would jump up on Karen the dog trainer and knock treats out of her pouch to eat them. Also funny that it took her so long to notice what was going on. And we thought you were stupid.
Remember how Carol watched you for a weekend and taught you how to fetch even though we had practiced it for months? That was a little mean, pretending you couldn't fetch. Also gutting about 100 pheasant toys should get old after a while- if not too expensive to maintain.
Austin I'm glad that you let us call you big dummy. The other day when I thought you had pooed in the house I am glad it was just your stinky stinky fart. Man you smell bad sometimes- but remember when Bruce Gardner said Taylor was the dog with the bad breath? I remember that too. I also remember you trying to wrestle with everything, including our friend Mike and Lexi the dog. Thank you for not breaking Diane's nose when you jumped into her lap and blood started gushing out of her face. Thank you for finally reluctantly starting to jump into the back of the car, even if I do have to push you.
I was really sad when you yelled at Danielle that one time, until I realized that she was grabbing your private parts. It's nice that you don't knock over children. Maybe though you should speak up a little the next time Danielle is beating you on the side with her hard giggle pig ball. That is not the same as petting Austin. And it is OK to break your sit when she is pointing at your eyes and grabbing your mouth.
Most of all, thank you for never having an accident in the house (other than that worm incident) and only going out two to three times a day. Maybe work on the stinky thing though. Now get lost.
Janae