Sunday Thoughts: Grandpa Berg

We spent last weekend in New Hampshire with my family. My grandfather passed away and we were able to drive up to the funeral. I was glad that I went up to visit when my mom was still here. Grandpa seemed like he was in so much pain every day. I still wake up in the night feeling sick so I would hear grandpa. He sounded like he was choking in the night. He had Parkinson's disease and I guess the difficulty swallowing is part of the disease. I didn't know about the pain, or if that was from something else. But I felt glad that Mark got to meet him and that my mom got to see him before he passed away. I also felt glad that he was in a better place, and wouldn't be in so much pain anymore. It's heartbreaking to see someone slowly suffer from a disease that will never get better. I remember my grandpa being so smart and amazing and kind. He always had the best candy stashes and loved presents. I'm honored and lucky that I got to know him.

Baby Mark was very interested in Grandpa. He probably spent the most time hanging out with grandpa. He would go and sit in the chair next to grandpa's bed and watch shows with him. Once he stole grandpa's flashlight and grandpa was concerned he wouldn't give it back. It was interesting to see how much Mark wanted to go hang out and watch shows with grandpa. Mark would tell grandpa about the shows and in his little style it wouldn't make any sense but I don't think Mark noticed and grandpa didn't say anything.

We saw my grandparents on their 54th wedding anniversary. Grandpa reminded him the date and grandpa remembered it was their anniversary. Grandpa or Mr. Ed as we used to call him was bedridden when we visited and he would come out and eat the table with us but he has a hard time eating and after a few minutes he would looked like he was in horrible pain so he would want to go back. I was glad that he got to come sit with us when he wanted and the kids seemed very interested in him. On their anniversary he was out and sitting at the table and grandma made strawberry shortcake. Grandpa reached across the table and held her hand, which looked really painful. I almost started crying because at first Grandma didn't realize what he was trying to do.

It broke my heart a little when Danielle wanted to to with grandpa. I didn't realize how upsetting it was to a child when they loaded the coffin in the car. I wondered if I should have told her about grandpa dying. She wanted to see him and say goodbye but then when he was leaving she was very upset that people were stealing her grandpa.

I didn't cry at the funeral because I was worried I would have a hard time since I'm pregnant and I didn't want to get started. Danielle was very sad. She loved grandpa. I tried to prepare the kids before we drove up there and I've heard that small children don't really understand what death means. I don't remember anyone in my family dying until my grandpa Sharp died, and I was a teenager.

Danielle loves grandpa a lot. She wanted to draw him pictures so he could see them from heaven. She drew him some beautiful mermaids and princesses in New Hampshire and when we came home she drew a happy family.