Dear Friend, Please give me presents and/or pity.

Hello All: Today I am having a pity party. You are all invited. I accept gifts just like a birthday party.
Here are some reasons I feel sorry for myself.
1. There is pink sanding sugar all over my living room floor. Why? Because Danielle put it there blah blah blah child proof your own darn house. I don't know if I am more sad about the pink sanding sugar or the white carpet. Or the fact that I am not sure where I put the vacuum- I should check the garage but I got distracted by feeling sorry for myself and feeding the baby.
2. Since having this baby my back has hurt- my doctor says it could be illio-sacral blah blah hurts like hell but I don't remember the name of it. The cure? Lots of work and stretching.
3. My throat hurts- is that from a virus? Maybe. Or maybe the goiter I have. Seriously that's what my doctor said. Talk about having a heart attack- any enlargement of your thyroid is a goiter. That's what John is learning is medical school. I feel like giggling but I don't know how to spell goiter. Got my blood tested today for that sore throat.
4. I was complaining about not selling on etsy and my friend told me it doesn't help that it is stuff anyone can make. sigh. Pity me because it is probably true. I guess half halfheartedly selling things anyone can make hasn't been my golden ticket.
5. To get money you usually have to work. Why isn't Survivor trying to recruit me?
6. No one is trying to recruit me- except apparently Obama wants me to go back to work. Or school or something.
7. The earliest Mark has gone to bed this week? 3:30 a.m. I feel so guilty that John isn't getting any sleep.
8. I still don't like my haircut. Yes I should have listened to those of you who told me I shouldn't get bangs. You were right and I was wrong.
9. The shelves I bought fell off the wall. Huge holes in wall and a huge dent in the piano. They won't stay on the really helpful metal attachment piece. Did I mention I put them up myself? Also they fell on my trendy lamp and broke it.
10. Really I have nothing to complain about. Even more pity-worthy? The few who read my blog are pretty positive so they don't need to hear about it. It's hard to be frustrated and know you are lame because you are frustrated.
11. The more I run the more I am convinced it is not for me.

Maybe I'll go make dinner now like a fantastic wife would. Feel free to leave obnoxious positive comments about changing my attitude. I think I'm going to take a nap.