Good Bye Hospital

We left the hospital today. I really wanted to leave yesterday but I just realized that they don't have a lady with a cup full of prescription pain killers at my house so maybe I want to go back. When I got to the hospital it seemed like no one really believed I was in labor. They asked me how much water I lost when my water broke. That was a confusing question. Almost as confusing as when they asked me if I wanted to wait for a while for my contractions to be worse before I got an epidural.
My veins were bad enough to give them two hours- then I had the baby 15 minutes after getting the epidural. NO I do not want to walk around- I want you to walk to the anesthesiologist and get them to put in an IV that won't fall out, because you can't. John tells me I start making funny faces at people as labor goes on. I tried to do deep breathing like Sara said but it just didn't work. (speaking of Sara what the heck happened to my kitchen- How did you get the floor so clean? Seriously I have no idea what she used but it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside). Deep breathing my eye- what about breaking things? I thought of a few things I wish I had brought with me.
1. Peanut M&M's- I think I should have eaten some- even if the nurses say no.
2. A soundtrack- people sometimes listen to music to calm them down. I would like Linkin Park or Tool- because why would I want to listen to music that made me feel angry? Start angry, and that will help.
3. Socks. Oops I forgot.
4. Linens so i don't get a rash from the hospital detergent.
5. Fruit Loops. I like them.

I don't fully understand hospitals. You ask the nurse for drugs after delivery and they ask you how many you need and why and how much pain you are in. The nurse walks in and gives you that- do you really need these look? Then they ask you if you are sure and how many you want and if you are in pain. I guess the doctor thought I might be when he said I could take drugs. My sister in law doesn't take them because the side effects of taking them is worse than the pain she is in. The only side effect I noticed was a warm fuzzy happy feeling- like when you are in labor and in pain and then get an epidural and the world is manageable again.
Also asking someone who just had contractions if they are in pain is like a joke. What is your pain? Compared to labor? Probably a zero on a scale of one to ten, because I don't feel like I am dying.
This same nurse who doesn't want to give you drugs does want to give your baby formula. I sent Mark there and he kept coming back hungry and screaming-the nurses solution was formula even though my milk was in. So much for the nursery I guess- The drugs helped me manage the stress of having to feed him myself.
I bet a little Metallica would have helped even more.