Rhinotillexomania

Once when we lived in the house with the pink door I walked into the living room and found my dad sitting on the couch reading a book and picking his nose. As any responsible child would, I reminded him that you shouldn’t pick your nose. Sage that he was my dad saw an opportunity to teach me a lesson. He told me that you only shouldn’t pick your nose if other people can see you. Then he told me it was OK for me to pick my nose around him. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the deal then and I am still not quite sure what to think. Apparently Stephen Colbert had an author on his show that touted the importance of picking your nose and used children’s natural behavior as an example of why it should happen. While I appreciate the thought I am pretty sure Danielle naturally wants to do a lot of things which aren’t really good for her health.
Jen and I have finally left on the road and my mind returns again to the eternal taboo of nose picking. The wise Aunt Kim explained that there is an unavoidable relationship with nose picking and driving. On the commute home a fun game to play is the “Count the Nose Picker’s” game. I guess the security of your own car makes you forget that people can see you through the window. Even the people in your blind spot can see your habit.
One of the most shocking things ever was when I was filling out one of those “all about you” books with someone I was dating. I love quizzes and quiz books and personality tests. Almost everyone is fantastic. This particular book had a section about bad habits and you just checked a box for each of them. We were answering the questions out loud and I read to him. When we came to the nose picking question he said yes. I moved to the next question and the test went on, but I was shocked. I was shocked because I had lied on that question. No one should admit to picking their nose. It is pretty much accepted as an unsanitary practice. But nose picking is so hard to give up. A commitment to give up nose picking becomes a compromise to only do it in the shower or with a tissue. Of course I know there are some who would check the no box and not understand why others are so disgusting. Probably like Jen. I have never seen Jen pick her nose. I suspect my husband is one of those people too. I have never caught him on the sly- and I watch. While I can’t condone crazy ideas like books about nose picking for pleasure maybe there should be more people who are willing to make the deal my dad made with me.
We will have to keep a count all the way to Philadelphia.