My Cursed Phone

Some people are against cell phones. They say that it is rude that people always expect to reach you when they call and you never get any privacy. Other's really like them. My father in law answers his cell phone in the movies but he is an orthodontist. It would be nice to reach your obstetrician when you are in labor or you mom when you really need to talk. I have a cell phone but no one expects to reach me on it. Because I have a condition known as cell phone curse.
My cell phone is plugged into the wall right now so the problem isn't low battery as it often is. The problem is my phone is no longer accepting calls. Well not about 70 percent of the calls at least. I have not received a call in over a week. Also anyone who has the numbers 3, 6, or 9 in their phone number can know that I don't really have the ability to call them. Those numbers don't work on my phone. The battery life of my phone is also about 20 minutes and it looks like it is cracked open. As the final part of my cell phone curse, I have a sty in my right eye.
I would like to go over some of the incidents with cell phones and me. One of my phones didn't work after I washed it in the washing machine. Then another after I ran it over with my car. Then I lost a phone. No one called China on it but the phone was gone forever. Next phone? you guessed it, the washing machine again. Sometimes if you wash a phone you can let it dry out for a few days and it will work again. Not so with my Razr phone. As a general rule the fancier the phone the worse it will fare. I really like nice phones but it seems like the curse takes them faster. I lost the next phone and then this phone was found face down in Austin's water bowl on the way to Georgia. I just need a waterproof phone- but where will I find it? From batteries that won't charge to a screen display that is busted, I always have some stupid excuse for why I don't call people back.
I think I have lost over $500.00 on phone destruction since I returned to America from Germany. I am a prime candidate for phone insurance. Unfortunately now I have the LG chocolate flip phone which is not super fancy so I don't always want to pay the fee to get it replaced. The last time I lost my phone I called to get a replacement only to discover the credit card I was trying to lose had been stolen. First time my credit card was declined and the first time the curse spilled over onto other theft. I don't know if I should fight the curse or just leave my phone plugged into the wall and call people on John's phone. My bad luck does allow us to keep our monthly minutes quite well. Since I have such bad luck I decided to get a less expensive phone but then every time I have to replace it I pay the same amount I paid for it upfront.
I could order another phone. It would probably last at least a week. Maybe two if I am lucky but there go all my custom ring tones. That is a trick- and no one's phone numbers actually carry over even if your carrier says they do. should I pay 50 dollars and get a new phone? I am still hoping my phone dried out and I get the use at least of the 9 again. It seems like a lot of numbers have nine in them.
I guess the phone has also taught me who my real friends are- the people who call me and become part of my new phone contact list.