Sunday Thoughts

I think a lot of the time people just give you more work because they can, not because it is necessary or productive. I get to work with someone like that occasionally. Yes I COULD do that but I don't want to and you wouldn't do yourself, you just like to take everyone else's energy. It reminds of me a few of my pregnancy rules:

1. Don't make important life decisions while pregnant. Unless you want to end your marriage with Charlie Sheen, you probably aren't in the right frame of mind to make important life decisions. and even then I have no idea, I've never met him.
2. Don't tell people when they do frustrating things.
3. Never confront a friend about anything.
4. If something bothers you, don't tell them.
5. It's OK for moms to have time outs too.
6. When people ask if they can do anything, they don't mean it.
7. Pregnancy makes people seem crazy- remember that and think about what you say at all times.
8. Just because you are REALLY hungry for doughnuts doesn't mean you should eat doughnuts.
9. DO NOT EAT EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO- people who tell you that pregnancy means you can eat whatever you want clearly didn't want to eat much while pregnant, or they would weigh a billion pounds.
10. Hiding your pregnancy from people might make you feel powerful and cool, but it really is only cool to you, because most other people are either mad at you for being so weird or just don't care.

So I guess all my pregnancy rules involve me getting bothered by nothing and trying not to do anything about it. I feel like I have all this extra negative energy. The first time I would yell at my mom a lot- the second time John. I'm trying not to this time but honestly the first time I realized I was pregnant was the day I yelled at Danielle that I quit being her mom if she was going to keep whining at me. Today I tried to remember my pregnancy rules as something bothered me that I can't blog about because it really just bothered me because I was jealous I didn't think of it first. In a disgusted sort of way. It's gotten me into trouble before- I think I tried to pick a fight with Brooke when I was pregnant with Mark and I totally got pissed at my little sister in this pregnancy. Maybe I just get bored and need someone to be mad at. Or all the injustice in the world. It's just one of those times when I'm not entirely sure my feelings are valid and I'm even a little bit sure I wouldn't have them if I wasn't a little nauseated and tired. My doctor said it was normal to be WAY more tired because last time I didn't have as many kids. HOW IN THE WORLD DO PEOPLE HAVE SO MANY CHILDREN? I really don't know how my mom survived it all.

maybe I should yell at her about it :-)

Anyway we went strawberry picking this weekend and it was so much fun. Mark really liked some of the gross berries and Danielle and I made Freezer Jam and Strawberry pie. The strawberries were smaller than the last place I went and a little more- gross I guess- I just don't know that the strawberry fields in Scranton are as good as the ones in Souderton. But the kids still loved riding the tractor, and Mark knows how to say "robot" which is adorable. We wore our robot shirts from BOTODESIGNS so he could say the words over and over again. He loved it. But Danielle had to pick my pink robot shirt and wear a white dress.
perfect strawberry picking outfit- right?

All I really want are some minions that love me and follow me with cult like adoration. Is that too much to ask?

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A List...

Today I went to a "marker party" which turned out to be just me getting free markers and white boards.
needless to say, it ruled.
as many things rule.

Five things that Rocked This week.

1. Marker Party- hello free markers. Washable ones too.
   
2. Danielle playing in the sprinklers. It is super fun to watch- remember doing that as a child?
   
3. Swings- every kid loves swings. when no one came to walking group we just played on the swings and the kids were super happy.
   
4. Having a dog that eats crackers off the floor when the kiddos leave them lying around. This is a really nice dog feature. I think it might make up for the hair feature but I don't know yet.
   
5. Listing new things in my etsy shop. I like feeling more organized. Like the other day when I finally managed to put all the laundry away. and then washed more...
   

Five Things that Didn't So Much Rock..

1. still throwing up and feeling nauseated all day. rude. Ok I don't throw up every day, just a few times a week. I pretty much never threw up with my last pregnancies
   
2. Mark can't share a room with Danielle because he just bites her non-stop. also he likes to scream for fun. and when he's angry.
   
3. Going to the ward "walking group" where no one came. so many ladies who say they want to work out... OK I guess it did rain later.
   
4. Bentley coming back on the Bachelorette. I'm over that already even though it hasn't happened.
5. Headaches. I get them most days- I have allergies. whatev.
   

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Sunday Thoughts: father's day

Today is father's day. Or as I like to think of it- second string mother's day. Since I've decided I can't go to church today I'll never know if the dads get flowers for pens with flowers on them like we did. When I was growing up sometimes they would get candy. No moms ever got candy though. When I was younger the candy seemed cooler but now I want the flowers. I love putting flowers in my yard. I imagine some years it was like my birthday when they went to church thinking they were getting a prize from the prize jar in primary but they weren't. Mother's day was always ruining my birthday- even when it wasn't on my birthday it was ruining my at church prizes.
anyway I like my dad in all his crazy advice giving glory. I liked working at his law firm when I was growing up.
and I like my husband. He likes his kids and always spends lots of time with them. Everyone in his family seems like they are super involved parents. I think that is rare for Mormon men- it seems like culturally they practice ignorance about child rearing and don't know their children. I seem to be in the minority that doesn't worry about leaving their children with "their father." ANYWAY that's a separate post but I was always worried my husband wouldn't love our kids and I'm super glad he does. He has always helped take care of their physical needs and played with them and talked to them. He taught Danielle how to write her numbers the other day.
I'm glad he wants to take care of his family and wants to make a good living to support them financially. It's fun that Danielle wants to be a doctor someday- and a mom. We have two kiddos and they both love their dad.

I like to take pictures of John eating I guess.

Happy Father's Day!

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Dance Recital.

Danielle is in a dance class. I think she likes it because she has friends in it. She also gets to dress up which is super exciting. And to top it all off- they got to dance ON THE STAGE this weekend.

It took days for this to happen. Day 1-John went with Danielle to the practice. I can't tell you how glad I was that John went with Danielle. So many excited moms can get a little overwhelming. I feel bad that I don't get to talk to people but I always feel like you don't really get to talk that much anyway. Plus I hate driving and it's easier to stay home and make dinner.
But I really wanted to see Danielle- she is so adorable and she wanted us to come see her dance on the stage. I didn't want to get guilted about not coming the night before. Not that anyone actually cares, but sometimes I just see all those excited moms and feel a little overwhelmed.

I went to the practice. I didn't really go talk to anyone at first since I haven't seen people in a long time and I thought it would start at the time the flyer said. OR ONE HOUR LATER. I forgot to bring paper. My cell phone died. I realized I forgot to get prizes for the girls in Danielle's class. One of them had a box full of bags for each kid in their class and personalized chocolate suckers. Why didn't I think to get ballerina colored suckers? Or the optional flowers for the girls after the performance. Sometimes I wonder if parents realize the reason their child "loves it" is one part sparkles and ten parts you being excited for them and finally paying attention to them. The other day I realized Danielle doesn't "love" gardening as much as she loves doing something with me. anything.

Yesterday I wished I had ever watched more than ten minutes of toddlers in tiaras so I would know how to talk to the moms. Also maybe I would be better at doing hair. I wondered if the other mom's wouldn't want to talk to me because my child doesn't have a neat curling iron bun. Or her own set of dance makeup.

Also my child picking her nose and eating it right in the middle of the performance wasn't the most graceful thing ever. Or trying to chase the curtain as it was closing so she could still be the center of attention.

Most of the kids didn't know the routines. at all. But they were adorable. A really nice mom lent me some bobby pins so Danielle's hat would stay in place. I wondered why I was the only one who felt like I was in a strange land. I have friends who have their children in the class. Maybe this is just one more step in to the world of being an adult that I'm not ready for. I wanted to let my toddler run to the stage.

I already have the kids who want to run on the stage and scream in church. I guess the other day Danielle planted herself on the floor in sunbeams and didn't want to get up. I'm just not ready for the moms who are living their dream of being a ballerina through their perfectly scheduled children. Not saying that everyone is like that... Some days I don't feel mature enough for the mom world.
Like when I tell my friend I can't believe I paid to do this and she says she lives for the recital. it is better than Christmas.
Or like when I am waiting FOREVER in an auditorium with nothing to do. With people who don't seem to notice the wait time is getting excessive.

I am officially old now. Going to my child's performance. In a class I paid for her to go to. Well that John paid for. Danielle was so happy we got to see her dance. I sort of thought it was great, which made me question what type of mom I will be even more. Maybe I will fill her four year old life with as many classes as I can and stop letting her watch kid shows.
I would probably feel like a better mother if I did.

She was sick for the actual performance. It was sad.
maybe that's why they need so many rehearsals.

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Miraculous.

a ring from my friend on etsy HERE

Today I went to a wedding.
I LOVE weddings.
then I came home.
Mark was asleep.
In his bed.

Not on the floor by his door.
And the babysitter cleaned up the playroom area by the fireplace.

weddings are the best.
and the fruit tart I ate on the way home from this one rocked my world.
almost as much as the sleeping toddler.

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Dear Friend,

Dear Friend,
I don't know if you are aware, but a little less than one month ago I turned 30. that's right-a dreaded age but my friends on twitter said 30 was better than 20 so let's see.
The good news: probably not as many children will be born in my 30's. I wanted to be done having children before I turned 31. I should tell you that I'm pregnant now and have vowed never to let this happen to myself again based on how I am currently feeling. NOTE TO SELF: NO MORE BABIES. I guess this time John will have proof. I'm having a baby in December. Hopefully on the 13th because I think while it would drive my sister Claire absolutely crazy, it would also cement this child's spot as her favorite. That is VALUABLE! Claire has also discovered that I am the least responsible birth control taker in the world. TRUE. I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. and I hate you if you want to make a funny joke about it. HATE.

In case you didn't notice, I yell a lot while I'm pregnant. While I am typing at least. That's actually how I found out- it was Danielle's birthday and I lost my temper. Before that I was just planning to call my doctor and get a SERIOUS boost in my anti-depressants. So much crying- it's shameful. Plus my super awesome weight loss had somehow halted and I just REALLY WANTED POWDERED DOUGHNUTS.
The bad news: NO ONE MADE ME PIE!
I know, it's shocking. I attribute some of the pie failure to my birthday falling on Friday the 13th. I figured maybe people thought that my mom would make it for me because she was in town, but they probably forgot that my mom DOESN'T Eat Gluten- OR DAIRY. So no pie from her. Also today John admitted that he doesn't know how to make pie. Unlike cake, which my grandma made me while I visited her in New Hampshire and lamented about her somewhat broken air conditioning and worked slavishly over a quilt for my aunt. She did humor my strong desire to eat animal cookies for about five seconds until I bought them and realized they aren't that good and wanted to leave them in her cupboard.
Anyway back to the pie... Today I was looking in my pantry we bought from IKEA and noticed that I had pumpkin pie filling from a craft day when Claire gave me lots of pie and I wanted to make it myself and bought all the stuff then didn't make it. I told John I still wanted pie. Like chocolate peanut butter or banana cream or WHATEVER. He revealed that he doesn't know how to make pie. Do you know what it is like to be a pregnant lady who really wants pie? because today I took a nap and dreamed about wanting a heath bar even though last time I ate one I literally broke one of my teeth out and I just thought- Maybe I could eat a heath bar pie. That could be good. Or suck, depending on if it had my mom's chocolate cream pie filling and not some stupid pudding pie mix. Sometimes I make my husband Banana cream pie with half vanilla and half banana instant pudding mix and he likes it but I secretly think it is HALF RATE PIE. Definitely not worth the calories, especially with the store bought graham cracker crust.
I bet my sister Carol would make me a pie. If we lived even remotely close.
I can't even think about this anymore. Did I mention slavishly working on a quilt? I sort of want to burn it up but it took too many hours of my life to destroy it. Plus it's not mine. Well like always we didn't finish as many as we wanted to, so we need to schedule another quilting sweat shop week. Maybe this time I will ask my aunt Sara whom I pretty much owe my next child to for all the favors she has done me to watch my kiddos. Let's face it, they aren't the little sweat shop workers they will one day inevitably be.

How was your last birthday?
xoxo
Janae

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Evolution of My Garden Lettuce.

Step One. plant enough lettuce for about 10 families to eat solid for a month. I thought about what we were eating and we really ate a lot of Salad so it seemed smart to plant it. I got lots of varieties. I like spinach and John likes mixed greens. I think I had over one flat of salad.

Step Two. Put it in your plant greenhouse. I built a little indoor greenhouse with wire shelves and plant lights. It lived by the window. I watered them. Danielle watered them. we loved our plants. Except the 20 that died because I guess they didn't like the peat pots I put them in.

Step Three. Mark.
seriously. some days at least four plants died before I caught him. The fist is faster than the running mommy.

Step Four. Mark again.

Step Five. And again.

Step Six. Move your garden outside. some of the few remaining plants didn't make the transplant. I guess the Mizuna thrived in the move because it suddenly is on steroids. Should I be skeptical about a plant that bugs and bunnies avoid? I don't know.

Step Seven. go the the local Nursery and buy some more lettuce. Plant it. I had to pull out all the clover from the BRAND NEW bed. Since then I've weeded more clover. Sometimes I wish clover tasted like lettuce. I'm really good at growing it in my grass and if it was lettuce I could get my daily salad EASY.

Step Eight. Mark. He helped in the garden while I was transplanting plants.

Step Nine. Bunnies. It seems as though even though I try to water every day and get rid of weeds I forgot to bunny proof my backyard. I realized this the other day when our secret bunny deterrent named Austin went flying after them. I don't think Austin would ever be fast enough to actually catch a bunny. and what would he do with it if he did? Lick it probably. He just wants to catch them to say hello. He must really feel unloved that all his potential yard best friends run away from him.

Original Plant Count: 75
Final Plant Count: 5 Mizuna and Hopefully 1 spinach, 1 organic lettuce and four leaf from the nursery. I say hopefully because at this point they are only feeding the bunnies.

You are probably thinking- wow she is a fantastic gardener I wish I could be like she is.
I think it's cheaper to buy lettuce at the store.

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