I love Vacation. I hate Vacation.

Things I hated about vacation today.
1. only packing three shirts. what?
2. Colds for everyone! There is something really gross about snotting babies while you are breastfeeding.
3. Danielle has an ear infection- woke up in the middle of the night.
5. No phone charger for two days means no phone.
6. Unreliable internet- who knew I was so addicted.
7. I have never been more upset about being allergic to cats.
8. Baby Mark the fussy eater.
9. Forgetting "clean blankie" when we went to stay in Salt Lake for the night.
10. Not staying in Provo because of ear infection.
11. Waiting over an hour for prescriptions to be called in.
12. Waiting even longer to get them filled.
13. Baby Mark throwing up.

Things I loved about vacation today.
1. Doctors who call in prescriptions.
2. Getting things done from my to do list.
3. Easter at Grandma's House!
4. Danielle playing with her aunt.
5. John making fantastic eggs.
6. Mark's cute outfit from Grandma
7. Getting a sweater on sale at Nordstrom for 20 dollars.
8. Claire convincing Danielle that the new clean blanket was all right.
9. Doctors calling in replacement prescriptions.
10. Mom waking up at 4 a.m. to get Tylenol.
11. Mom letting me use her super good smelling hair stuff.
12. Today I went to the bathroom alone EVERY TIME I WANTED TO. Beat that most parents of a two year old and six month old.
13. Got to sleep in while John watched baby.
14. Finally got a phone charger.
15. Danielle went on the potty.

TIVO- I am looking forward to seeing survivor tonight!

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Sunday Thoughts

Sunday Thoughts: This Sunday we went to church with my mom. It was strange to heart the different speaking style. Some woman was talking about relief society. She was a little to banal about her description of her mother getting hit by a car. When you’re tone of voice is so monotone I don’t really believe you when you say “unfortunately, she was hit by a car.” Was that a little smile on her mouth about her own mother getting hit by a car? I guess she decided every talk needs a personal story. Why choose to talk about her mother being hit by a car? Her mother was in the hospital in critical condition and so many sisters visited her that the nurses asked if the mother was some celebrity that they didn’t know. What a relief society success- you can be mistaken for a lesser known celebrity! Totally worth getting hit by a car.

But I did notice something about the ladies in my mom’s ward. They are cute. One girl with her perfect shiny brown hair was wearing an adorable yellow sweater with ruffles that I am jealous of even though it would make me look like a lemon mess. So much tousled hair can be overwhelming in one place and I hope they are using non-aerosol hairspray for the sake of the ozone but many of them share something with the perfect mom. Which brings me to this week’s perfect mom installment:

The perfect mom wears high heels.

Everyone knows that high heels are awesome for several reasons. Reason one- you are taller. Reason two- they look good. Reason three- people notice them. One of my secret criteria in marriage was to have a husband tall enough that I can wear four inch heels. I guess that means no one under 5’8” so it isn’t that impressive. John totally meets the requirements which brings me joy. After I had my first baby I felt like I was invisible to people at church. The only questions I was ever asked were about my children. True my daughter was cute but I felt like I was dowdy and generally un-cute. I guess my post baby body disappointed me. I felt like I couldn’t wear some of my old cute clothes- but cute shoes worked. I never worried that people would think I was too fat for my shoes. Wearing four inch heels made me feel pretty all the time.

Another reason having high heels is good? It is difficult. Chasing a toddler is harder in stilettos. Carrying a baby makes my balance worse than being pregnant. People wonder about a woman who is seven months pregnant in heels. I am always shocked when I see women who wear heals all the time. How can you wear those things to work all the time? So awesome. Your life has to be pretty put together to be able to wear high heels. You aren’t overwhelmed by your children. You are still sexy. You are a woman, then a mom. Now don't get my wrong, I am not promoting one inch heels. Go big or go home. Wearing dowdy 1.5 inch heels penny loafers makes you look more than an out of control mom. If you can't handle it you shouldn't't do it. And you can handle it. And you can handle it.

High heels, I salute you.

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Dear Friend

Dear Friend,
just a quick note to say hi.
in case you ever wonder if people are making fun of your blog, they are. Your post this week makes you look like a spineless idiot. I may or may not talk to people on the phone about it and think of potential questions to ask you. I think you lie about how much you eat. Also in case you wonder if people think you shouldn't have worn that brown skirt with those black shoes to church, they do. At least I do.
Please update again soon!
Thanks

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Sunday Thoughts

I think it would be funny if there were new rules about how people had to sit at church. I thought of this today as I was sitting on the stand. Rather than letting people pick were they say people would have to file in and be seated starting at the front of the building. Larger parties would get the longer rows. You had to start at the left and go to the right. Children would get their allotted space but no more. There couldn't be lots of space between parties.
I like it for several reasons. One- if a family of seven needs a spot and three people are sprawled across a whole row the family never makes them scoot over which I think is sad. Two- the more righteous you are, the further to the front you would be. It could be a sort of status thing. Now not only do the super important people go on the stand, the other important people are in the front. Those families that sit right on the end of the back row would be smack dab in the middle of the third row.
My family always sat in the front row at church. and we always got there late. So after the sacrament we would traipse in and take our spots. I personally believe we didn't earn those spots, but the super righteous Ogden family took a row further back. Maybe we could have earned the back row that the relief society president took.

Then maybe we could start the color coordination.
and have treats in relief society. I miss that awesome relief society teacher who would somehow always tie in fantastic treats with her lesson. Every pregnant and nursing woman's dream.
Mark likes sucking his food out of the holder. So disgusting. So awesome.
Danielle likes to do karate moves and help me sew. Tonight we made cookies and visited some people to give them away. and like every time I cook, I called my mom for directions. Hence the freak out and call mom picture in my kitchen.
next week I have to think of more perfect mom ideas- aka Brooke's worst nightmare. But Brooke sent me some of the most beautiful earrings in the world this week. They are red. I wore them to church this week. Love.

Someday spring will come. Until then- thank goodness for Vitamin D prescriptions.
Think about it- would you want to show up early? Maybe the lurking greeters would make better ushers.
Happy Sunday!

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Dress Up

I made Danielle an applique bunny shirt. She wore it to church on Sunday.

Last week Danielle had a friend visit. The first thing the three year old girl asked? "where are your dress up clothes. Well we don't have any little girl dress up clothes (except John's old Scouting hat which I don't know if that counts) but we do have theme style baby clothing.
It seems that all baby clothing has children featured as something else. I didn't get a good photo of Mark dressed up like a Robot. I LOVE Botodesigns.etsy.com and have a onesie from them. I will need some more soon though because Mark is a little chubster. I captured a funny Mark face while he was playing with his beloved peep dressed as a robot in his Robot onesie.
The next day we got a darling little giraffe outfit in the mail from my Mother. Pretty much all of Mark's clothes are from my mother. I can't believe he will let me put hats on him and doesn't have a screaming fit afterwards. he looks pretty cute in hats. Also why do I only get good photos of him in the night time? The first time I had a baby I saw a little onesie that said "I love mommy" and I cried. OK I was pretty newly pregnant at the time and a little crazy. Then I realized they were ALL OVER. But I liked putting it on Mark because he really does seem to love me more than anything. How fuzzy.

Of course Peter and Kathryn sent us this darling outfit so the next day I dressed Mark up as a lobster. Incidentally I will not eat Lobster. They totally gross me out. Have you ever seen a drawing of a lobster? Oh my goodness I can't think about it too much because it will give me nightmares.

On Sunday of course I had to dress him up as an old Man. Like any decent religious service ours is planned directly over a period of time when Mark is asleep. Though we had some cuter photos, this one captures Mark's expression about 90 percent of the time. He was nodding off and watching me and was just a little too sleepy to respond. I made the tie. At an earlier shooting of a different tie Mark was happier. I am selling real baby ties in my etsy shop. I made the first one while Carlie was visiting. I decided to make them a little longer though because Mark needs the double Windsor. Just because you are a baby doesn't mean you can single Windsor your tie. He seems to think it is the funniest and best chew toy in the world.

Then of course I had to dress him up as a monkey. I wouldn't actually say that Mark is very monkey like. This photo is from his crib. He loves soft minky fabric so we got him a minky sheet. He likes to sleep under a blanket. Also it seems like he is teething still. As in he is super fussy when he eats and doesn't calm down. Also not monkey like- Mark doesn't like bananas. What he does like is Pad Thai. He LOVES Pad Thai. Every now and then I grind up what we are eating for dinner for him and it was a huge hit. Probably not allergy friendly now that I think of it. Don't judge.

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Sunday Thoughts

Well Tuesday is the perfect day to have Sunday thoughts. After all, I went to a playgroup at the church. I think I didn't help pick up the toys enough. I hope they don't kick me out. Today was like the sabbath for me, if you mean not doing any work. I avoided vacuuming and cleaning up. I didn't do the dishes. Baby Mark was a complete fuss face. I love him dearly but that kid fusses when you don't hold him. I want one of those moby wrap things. Or a Mai Tei style carrier. The sling is OK and all- but it hurts my back.
Here are some thoughts I had on Sunday
1. I wonder what the other testimonies were like since Mark started screaming and can't eat with any noise.
2. Hooray- Danielle went on the potty at church!
3. Oh no- Danielle went on her skirt at church. Why don't I have an extra outfit for her?
4. Should I really go back to church with two children sans husband?
5. I wonder if they are going to give John a new calling since he doesn't play piano even though I told them he did.
6. Is my friend even pregnant? Her due date keeps moving around.
7. Can you stop harassing me about getting the visiting teaching numbers done? I know it's the easiest calling in the church but that doesn't mean I have it done yet. (I can only write this because now it is done.)

Mark finally reached for something. He was sitting in his bouncer and started reaching for something and crying. He doesn't ever really reach for things so I went over to see what he wanted. So my baby has finally selected a favorite toy. It is a stuffed animal peep. Oh a baby after my own heart. He likes to have it with him always and cuddle it. He bites his peep. He rolls over to go get it. Maybe this will spurn him to moments of baby greatness, like trying to sit up on his own or learning to hold things with his hands instead of throwing his face at them.
Next week I get to speak in church. On visiting teaching.
You know I taught at the MTC for over a year, why can't I have missionary work or something? I wonder if I should invite my friends.
Hopefully they will tell me it is amazing, even if it is a lie. I hope my friends can lie well enough to make me believe it. I wonder if Mark will start screaming halfway through.
Only if it's bad, I hope.

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Miss

I miss this little smiler.
He likes to play.
He gets excited easily.
He likes to stand up and bounce.
He grabs things that he wants.
He is huge.
He calms himself with a pacifier.
He lays next to Mark and they grab each others' arms.
He smiles at me.

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Marriage Course Lesson 2- Competition

People say that competition is bad. The John and Janae Marriage Rocks program begs to differ. Competition is awesome. Hello- how long have the Olympics been around? A Long Time. Because being the best is totally worth it.
Now sometimes competition can be bad for a marriage- like when you are competing to see who can go the longest without putting laundry away. Believe me I have tried that and it never goes well for me. I have had much more luck with who can ignore the dishes longer. This winning spirit made me a little embarrassed when my sister in law came to visit and did all my dishes. Embarrassed and thrilled.
Our course recommends against competing with each other, and turns rather to a couple's style competition. Like the amazing race which I have never watched so it might not actually be like that. Don't compare everything, just pick extra special things.
After people leave your home you can say to the closed door "Our marriage totally kicks your marriage's A@#." No joke. Your husband is your best friend? Her husband is "the best friend, companion, lover, and husband in the world for me." ? Well that reminds me of a song by Akon about his Homie, Lover, Friend. How exactly do you know your husband is the best lover? There is no Olympics for that I hope. Is your husband really your best friend? You also claimed he was the cheapest man on the planet.
One word people: Bestest.
I remember visiting a friend who lived in an apartment with Newlyweds downstairs. Extremely loud newlyweds. They like to yell. Once when we were visiting the scandalous noise started almost right after they told us how awkward it was. He turned to her and said "oh we could take them." Yes, experience and competition.
This competition can be dangerous though, as I learned when I was told that my husband did more household chores than most husbands. Shame on you, other husbands. This is not the true spirit of competition. Do you do more chores than every husband in the world? Maybe not.
It is said that Shakespeare could not have created his works in a different society. London was one of the most critical theater going environments at his time. If people aren't performing you just can't compete against them and rise to marital greatness. The Gold Medal of happiness and togetherness.
John and I are better at talking about feelings.
John and I are better at not favoring each other in games.
John and I are better at getting each other awesome gifts.
John and I are better at painting.
John and I are better at managing our children.
John and I are better at speaking German.
John and I have a better insurance rate.
John and I are better at saving for our children.
John and I are better drivers.

All of these things apply to different couples, but are true.

For this experience write down the names of all of your couple friends. Now write one sentence of what you do better than they do.
If you come across a name you can't think of anything for, fall back on being better homies.


image source: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2009/10/01/2009-10-01_global_warming_could_make_2016_olympics_the_last_games.html

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